Ok, if I wasn’t British, I’d be Italian, not Australian. Lunch seems a good idea. Especially after all this economic stuff with two cows. Thinking
Category: Social Engineering
Two Cows: American
I could never be an American. As their empire slowly sinks and disappears they are kicking off and behaving badly. Plus they are mainly religious
Two Cows: Australian
I like the way the Aussies think. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m British, I’d be Australian. I think.
Two Cows: Venture Capitalism
Yeah, I’ve never understood the whole Venture Capitalist malarkey. But it’s the best way to make a living using other people’s imaginary money. Or something.
Two Cows: Capitalism
Yep. Makes sense to normal hard-working humans. How can this be wrong?
Two Cows: Bureaucratism
Ah, yes, that brings back memories of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. As in, when they decided that leaves would be currency and so
Two Cows: Fascism
There is an extremely subtle almost impossible to see difference between Communism and Fascism. Both are imposed on ‘the people’. Both hurt the population and
Two Cows: Communism
Ah yes. Communism. The oft used yet most misunderstood concept when in the hands of trade unionists and Guardian reading loony lefties in the UK.
Two Cows: Socialism
So, let’s start with the ideological version of ‘socialism’ with our two cows. Socialism seems to work within a small community, such as a family,
It’s time for two cows
“You have two cows” is a common political satire involving variations of scenarios of two cows and how they work within various economic systems. Asleep yet?
Orchestrating the greenie sheeple
Those who wish to manipulate and gain power are lucky that countries are full of sheeple. Especially the UK. Sheeple are the ones easily led
Is it time to execute smokers?
Look at this mess! I just had to walk through this. Why are smokers such dirty bastards? Is it a mental thing and they can’t
Islam, the religion of war
The Christians have their Bible, the Jews their Torah, and the Muslims have their Koran. All are books full of far too many words. Far
Make Britain unattractive to illegal migrants
Thousands of men live in rough camps in Calais. They are waiting to illegally get into Britain. They hope to do this by breaking into
McDonald’s takes a fresh turn
Well, this is interesting, innit. McDonald’s restaurants are closing across the country. Now, that’s a thought that will excite the eco-warriors who have been indoctrinated
This is not politically correct
OMG! Like, yeah, have you seen what the agitators and haters did with the BBC’s Top Gear and their use of the ‘P‘ word? Yeah,
The Hottest Day Evah!
Hilarious! So, the Met Office, with its institutionalised Global Warming meme fully in place, excitedly announced that we had just had the hottest day …
The truth is out there
But … are there?
Respecting other people’s beliefs?
People that want their beliefs respected should get some respectable beliefs. It’s really as simple as that.
Resist Capitalism?
Yep. Feckin’ stoopid.
They are poisoning us
It has to stop. It really has to stop. How can these faceless wealthy merchants of child death be allowed to continue doing this? I
How speeding fines are just so unfair
There’s a single method to use to avoid being caught speeding. Don’t speed. Indeed, strangely, this applies across all laws. The best and most guaranteed
McRecycle
(You probably need to click through this to see it animated, if you are looking at it on an old fashioned platform like Facebork) I
Being gay just ain’t logical
Homosexuality doesn’t make any logical sense. In contrast, heterosexuality makes a lot of sense. I mean, without heterosexuals we would just die out wouldn’t we?
The Militant Tendency
The religion virus originating from the Middle East is certainly one of the nastiest. It has a very destructive militant tendency. But, as people are
What would Heathens Do?
When Christianity was being forced onto whole villages and communities, usually under threat of death for those who did not comply, the Bible bashers found
Kurds fight back against Choudary’s death taunts
One of my old stomping grounds from my yoof is Wood Green in North London. Unconsciously I watched as it changed and rapidly became an
Why do we allow these wasters to live?
So, after a few days of very large floaters, I decided to get advice. Not the toilet floaters that you have to beat down with
Liverpool bullies and their racist attacks
I spotted these flyposts on a wall of a building in Lime Street, Liverpool. At first they were a complete mystery. Who or what was
What’s the point?
Taking a selfie every half an hour or so is a modern day essential part of being part of today’s world. But, usually the subject
Moving Forward
You can’t change the future by living in the past.
Speaking of Jesus…
It’ll soon be Easter, and that means the ritualistic worship of a ghostly occurrence: A very dead body lifting up into the air and floating
Was Jesus gay?
Christianity isn’t alone in its homophobia. Islam hates gay people too. And so do Jews. Yeah, all the Middle Eastern originating religions hate gays. Yet,
What exactly is Easter?
Easter is on its way. Easter. WTF is Easter actually about? Well….
Trendy overpriced coffee, yum, but which is best?
So, when it comes to trendy overpriced coffee, I have a Starbucks card. I have a Costa card. And I have a Cafe Nero, er,
The dangerous human-hating faith replacing Christianity
Why is it that those who don’t unquestioningly ‘believe’ a particular ‘faith’ usually know more about it than the ‘believers’? Weird, innit? Take the ‘facts’
The evolution of the desk
Ok, yes, I know this moving gif is really an advert (if you are viewing this via an old fashioned platform like Facebork, you’ll need
Would you Adam and Eve it?
The religion virus is a strange thing. It successfully blinds people to the bleedin’ obvious. Take this painting as an example. I mean, what is
Sharia Law for the UK?
I believe this photo (above) was taken toward the end of the 1970s in Kabul, Afghanistan. It is just a typical photo of two
The truth is unimportant for those who tell us about Global Warming
I didn’t write this. I spied it elsewhere. It says almost everything I think about those who fall for the lies of the highly funded
Erasing history is like playing GTA for the Islamic State
I am not an anorak of ‘history’, and it has to be said that there are those who love and live it. All that archaeology
Save us from sofa journalists
Who remembers the days when supposed ‘news’ media actually had journalists who got off their arses and went out to research items and then composed
Israel and Islamic State building towards the final showdown
Recently, bunches of Jews threatened to leave their current host countries, France and the United Kingdom, and head off to their holy land, their nirvana,
The South of North America is still backward, innit
An interesting examination of a range of different but not so different ways of cataloguing the United State of America shows an interesting correlation. It’s
Cannabis and the paranoia it brings
We know that cannabis, even in its mildest form can have a dramatic affect on the mind. For those afflicted with awful diseases like Multiple
Did women write the Satanic Bible?
Men are dicks. Especially young men. And bearing in mind that the ancient desert tribes, whose mutterings have formed parts of the current religion virus that still
We cause the climate change that causes
We were definitely told not that long ago that man-made climate change (ie it’s all our fault) would mean dramatically warmer winters. “Children will never
The religiously inflicted disrespect atheists
Well, they are both disrespectful in their own way, I guess, but the disparity is wrong. How come those suffering from a religion virus mustn’t
Beware how you push that button
Absolutely brilliant! I hope all the lay-dees that check out England’s England heed the advice, especially, “Save your soul! Don’t touch your hole!” Heck, just
Why are we more attractive to foreigners than the French?
We here in the UK might moan and complain about our lot, but there must be something vastly better about living here than, say, well,
Psst! Wanna rent a phonebox?
I was strolling by two olden style red phoneboxes in Liverpool, just outside Lime Street station, the main railway hub of our fair city. Well,
No Fish and Chips in Liverpool
I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. There are NO Fish and Chips shops in Liverpool. That’s extremely odd for a city that’s a traditional
Proof that iSheep are mentals!
Soooo. The whole point of using a tablet is that you no longer need to revert to the old fashioned anti-environmentally friendly ways of chopping
Islam, the religion of peace
For the overwhelming number of followers of Islam, the religion their parents forced into them from birth is a religion of peace. Where it’s not
To offend or to be offended, that is the question
I, probably like many others, have a number of discarded attempts at writing up my sad, depressing, witty and clever response to the whole Charlie
Why are we asking superstitious mumbo jumbo believers about mitochondria?
Ok. So, there’s the big debate about whether or not we can safely have ‘three person babies’. And of course, media wheels out those who
We need more pretty houses
The colours are vivid and primary, but mainly they are striking. Very striking. Most importantly, they are extremely pleasing on the eye. The contrasts complement
Stephen Fry takes god to task
Gay Byrne is an 80 year old Catholic who used to present a late night show broadcast across Ireland. He is a very god-fearing gentleman!
We need more nuclear power
It is of course a paid-for pet hatred of the Greenies, especially the ‘watermelon‘ ones (green on the outside, red on the inside), but, in
All this tech is making us anti-social
It is customary for the cloth cap wearing and always lower class Northerners to laugh and point at Southerners. One of the many things they
Even members of our royal family want us dead
So what do we know when it comes to the funding of the various campaigns against fossil fuels and traditional methods of fuel production? Well,
Prohibit those smelly e-cigarettes now!
Well done Merseytravel. They don’t do a lot right in their strange existence alongside the free-for-all of the companies running their bus services throughout the
All hail the duck god
It is disgusting that there are those out there that worship the rabbit god. We must force them to renounce their rabbit god and join
Apostrophe abuse in Liverpool
Up to 60% of a sofa’s WHAT? Up to 60% off a mattress’s WHAT? What? Sadly, I suspect that there is no word intended after
More Arctic Sea Ice than ever!
Ah, 2007. Well before ‘climategate’ showed us how corrupt, ‘collaborative’ and open to question the ‘climate change industry’ was. In 2007 Al Gore was adding
The cartoon that offended but caused no deaths
With almost no exceptions, the religion virus makes those infected by it aggressive and dangerous. In a similar way to the addiction to crack cocaine,
What are they doing to our porn?
Sex is fun, and what happens during it should always be defined by the two or more (or maybe just one) consenting adults involved. Trusting
Paying it forward
If there’s anything I have learned about life that maybe should be taught as a rule of life it is that life isn’t fair to
Fat Bastards walking
I like walking I do. And in recent times the TV channel TLC ran a two part series called ‘My Fat Story‘ during which the
It’s time to forget about Andy
Why is the oxygen of publicity still given to ex-druggie Andy Choudary’s anti-Western, anti-British, anti-the-country-he-lives-in-and sponges-off hate speech? He must be a classic example of
Too much of an insult?
Satire. But. Is this jumping the shark?
The greatest threat to Islam
Of course, not to be missing out, Christianity and co did commit versions of this cruel and barbaric ‘terrorism’ all those centuries before. It’s just
The tree of life
If you click on the picture you can get a good close up. It’s a picture I stole from the wonderful evogeneao.com (I urge you to cruise
Liverpool’s scallies on their free bikes
The scallies of Liverpool are extremely happy with their free bikes. These charcoal gray anonymous clothing wearing teenagers are really enjoying the local scheme which
The Islamophobia News Algorithm
Trying to decide what is ‘news’ and how important it is as news requires the application of a news algorithm. This is an essential way
Ah, Christmas, eh?
Too early? Too late?
Liverpool’s bells of torture
Four-and-a-half hours. Four-and-a-half fucking hours. Four-and-a-half fucking hours of continuous torturous deafening loud noise. How dare the selfish idiots inside the god-bothering money-box that is
The new Ten non-Commandments
So, the Torah (the history and rulebook if your parents have decided you are Jewish) or Old Testament (one of the history and rulebooks if
Five monkeys and the stupidity of the human race
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before
The vultures of peace
So, the dove is small. It’s a lot smaller than the vulture. The vulture is strong and large. It feeds on the carcasses of the
When there is absolutely no trace
The available archives of christopherengland.com step back to 1st January 2007. That’s all but 7 years of ‘blogging’ that I managed to scrape and fiddle
People are holding dildos in their mouths
Why are so many people walking around with mouth-willies? Mouth-willies, you know, a plastic penis that you keep slipping in and out of your mouth
But god created…
And who created your god? He/she/it’s always been there you say? And then they created everything else? Nobody created the creator you say? Heck, couldn’t
Why won’t they shoot burglars?
At about 04:40 this morning a man popped the lock on our front door and entered our home. As fortune would have it, my partner,
Why do Catholics have sex with children?
According to itself, the Catholic Church requiring its workers to not have sex is directly linked to them having sex, usually of a homosexual nature,
Freedom to not buy ‘The Sun’
Scousers never forgive. Strike that. There are some within the Scousers that agitate to ensure that the rest of the clan march to the beat
Money, it’s a drag
I’m always being told to tidy up. And I’m always being told that money isn’t everything. And I’m always being told I’m a show off.
A small English breakfast
Remember when the greenies and thought police told us all that Full English breakfasts were the work of the Devil and we were all going
Lawbreakers whinge about being fined
What is wrong with people who break the law? Why won’t they ever accept that they’ve done something wrong and so need to be punished,
Youth broadcasting under attack again
What’s on BBC4 TV you might ask. Pretty much what’s on BBC2. There’s not a big difference really, with the selection maybe being a tad
Social Meeja is so intrusive
I’ve sat in a restaurant next to a table full of people all busy on their phones instead of actually looking and talking to each
Why do old radio anoraks see nothing wrong with rape?
A guy called Ray Teret just got convicted on seven counts of rape and eleven counts of indecent assault. His victims were predominantly under the
Dontcha just hate morning people?
If I was a multi-billionaire instead of just a millionaire, I would never need to work, and so would be able to sleep naturally and
It’s time to legalise prostitution
Working funny hours means driving around at funny hours, and apart from the depressing spectacle of the midnight cash machine queues of druggies waiting for
Look at the black slave, listen to the singing about gays
Oh blimey. This is just so wrong on so many different levels. Can you believe this was actually broadcast on British television back in the
Why did they steal Christmas?
A fair point well made. It is so extremely strange that so many deities have exactly the same back story. Makes yer think dunnit. Well,
The things humans are designed to instantly forget
There’s a lot that goes on that we can’t or won’t see. The nearest experience this reality can be likened to is dreaming. Yes, now
Emily Thornberry and the other millionaire socialists who hate us
Sometimes some events just seem a little bit mental. Sometimes very very mental. Take, as an example, the tweet sent by MP and Shadow Cabinet
Israel’s collective punishment of innocents
I kind of ‘get’ the idea of a bunch of soldiers shooting at another bunch of soldiers. Albeit that they are really just slave machines
England's England 