WTF? Caught on an old phone so not the best quality, but, in your most convincing Eastenders voice: “Gerroffofmyleaf!?”
Category: Liverpool
Radio Caroline/Last Pirate FM busted
OMG! The all new old Radio Caroline calling itself Last Pirate FM has been busted by the feds.Heh! Only in Liverpool, eh? When the radio
Radio Caroline returns as Last Pirate
Radio anoraks, especially Radio Caroline anoraks, as we all know, are near death. Yes, ok, a heck of a lot of them actually are dead,
How to save taxi fares
I would never normally use a ‘black’ cab. The hail and ride taxis that are iconic in London, and equally infest my nearest city of
Meet the fag hag waiting for the souls of smokers
A well worn and mainly disused place for smokers to hang around, their own cigarette bin, now has a new resident. It’s a resident that
Chariots of the Liverpool drug lords
There are two different kinds of millionaires in North Liverpool. There are the ones who get paid tens of hundreds of thousands of Pounds for
Liverpool’s Sex Word Search
Well, here’s a bizarre thing to find stuck to a wall. Yeah, I’m used to all the usual fly-posting which advertises lordy lordy knows what.
Will Liverpool boycott Corbyn?
As is oft mentioned here, the bullies of Liverpool don’t allow The Sun newspaper to be sold in the area. This is given much publicity
Liverpool, the city with three Mayors
Why have I been forced to have yet another layer of Government? An additional layer of control I don’t want and don’t need. I’m told I
In May the locals go Yellow
Wanna know the party that’ll be winning in the May local elections? It’ll be the Liberal Democrats. Well, it will be if the can cleverly
Time to stop the rough sleepers
Why is there so much sympathy for ‘rough sleepers’? Several buildings in Liverpool have built wire constructions to block their doorways and make it uncomfortable
A night on the tiles
This impressive floor, well, not just the floor, the whole room really, is inside Liverpool‘s St George’s Hall. To be honest, I think the tiles show
The Greatest Hits Network just died
Across a lot of the north of England and the south and east of Scotland the ‘oldies’ stations are mainly owned by Bauer Media and
First they came for The Sun, then the Daily Mail
The left, the liberal elite, love to ‘shut people down’ because the elite don’t believe in free speech. The liberal elite hate free speech completely.
Sleeping rough is a personal choice
At this time of year, the hard-done-by type stories get rolled out. Here’s one: We have to be very sad about those who are sleeping
Liverpool panto star violently beaten up
News reaches me about a pantomime in Liverpool. And how an actor, a character in the panto, got beaten up by a bunch of about
Now, that’s what I call a Phat burger
So, this has to be the best ever, extremely healthy, burger. Indeed, it is the Phat Burger. The Phat Burger, probably named as a parody
Time to kill the scrambler bike riders
There’s an industry in Liverpool, a very profitable one. Liverpool has one of the biggest drug dealing industries in the UK. This is because of
Gimmie the choice to not buy The Sun
Why am I not allowed to chose to not buy The Sun? You see, I want to not buy The Sun. I can’t actually remember
Made in Liverpool
So, once upon a time in Liverpool, there was a local TV station. It had the non-Scouse name of ‘Bay TV’. Apart from low budget
The very very bad man
Costco is that pretentious store that supposedly provides goods at wholesale prices. Most of its customers are not retailers but ordinary pretentious people who are
Pump up the jam
Why don’t London have any of these? They want to encourage less use of motorised vehicles, don’t they? They need to learn from the North-West.
Ladies and Gentlemen
I was forced to complain to the management of a certain Liverpudlian eatery. “WTF’s going on?” I asked trembling with anger. Which toilet was I
Corbyn comes to Liverpool
Jeremy Corbyn, a potential leader of the Labour Party, came to Liverpool the other day. He stood on top of a Fire Engine. Luckily there
Throbby Blobby Snort Blirt
Saw this on a lamp post in Liverpool, and my first thought was that the words were associated with the use of a vibrator. You know,
Sandgrounder Radio, same old shit, different area
You are probably familiar with a ‘Scouser’ being the odd nickname for somebody from Liverpool, but what’s somebody from Southport called? Well, they are a
Time to get rid of ‘gay marriage’
I don’t understand all this horrendous hatred of the LGBTQIRSLABCXYZ community. I mean, diss them (in a very friendly way) for having an ever increasingly
Sudden loud noises
I was strolling through a part of Liverpool, when I came across this. An unexploded bomb that was in danger of making a huge ginormous
Deliberate encouragement of separatism at the doctor’s
To the horror of a pal of mine, the revamped self-arrival screen at his doctor’s has changed. Once upon a time the screen sat there
The gulls are going to get you!
So I was strolling down this back road in Liverpool. There was a lot of gull noise going on. When I first got exiled from
Anfield’s weirdos attack phonebox
Liverpool‘s Anfield used to be an area of boarded up houses (ideal for setting up Cannabis farms within) and grey clothed bald kids scuttling around delivering
No touchie
Somtimes Scousers need it carefully spelled out to them because they have no sense and are drawn to pressing buttons without thinking about the consequences…
Stop the paint vandals of Liverpool
I love graffiti. Clever, artistic, thought provoking, pretty, colourful graffiti. Graffiti artists have a gift of which I am extremely jealous. It is a skill.
Local radio gets presenters but keeps the segue
It was good news to hear that 3 stations belonging to the Wireless Group are getting local programming again. Years ago, back in the days
Pete Price gets chopped back
Bauer Media have done the sensible thing. They’ve cut back by 25%, they’ve trimmed an hour from the Pete Price show on Radio City 2
Death to the anti-social scrambler bikers
Liverpool, not unlike other cities full of out of control scummy children, is terrorised by scrambler bikes being ridden illegally on the wrong side of
Time to expose the fake socialists
I know this activist within a trade union branch in Liverpool. He claims he is a socialist. At times he also claims that Jews (later
Stop trying to control me
So, Brits who want to leave the EU are over 50 and remember the days before the EU. Brits who want to stay in the
The cult of Beatles
I needed a wee. I was in Liverpool’s trendy Albert Dock. I noticed a Tourist Information Centre, so went inside. “Could you tell me where
Universal Credit is boss!
Across Liverpool, well, in the predominantly left-wing media that covers Liverpool, there is whinging about Universal Credit. Universal Credit is the fairer and cheaper way
Pizza Express Braille
So, there’s a new branch of the Pizza Express chain in Liverpool‘s Hope Street. They’ve done that modern bizarre trendy thing of taking the inside
96 into 27 shouldn’t go
Last week the people of Liverpool got a verdict about the 96 people who died at Hillsborough in 1989 that mainly gave them what they
February 7th is my birthday
So, I was born on a February 7th, many many February 7ths ago. And every year I’m forced to nod, grin and look happy on February
Liverpool gets all CGIed
Liverpool has ancient looking streets and houses. And it’s cheap when it comes to being used by film companies wishing to make period dramas. So,
Empire druggies strike back
Aren’t Liverpool’s Druggies and Alcoholics wonderful? Here’s a couple having a glorious time, having moved into the doorway of the Empire Theatre. Their belongings, along
It had to be done
Yes, it had to be done. It wasn’t me. Nobody saw me do it. I mean, why would I deface a notice? But, it had
Father Christophermas part thirteen
Well, Christmas Eve is the last day that Father Christmas is available to be visited by the boys and girls of the world. Christmas Eve
Father Christophermas part twelve
Aha. Today all the mastic and the 10 minutes of carefully putting my Father Christmas beard in place and making sure it is properly glued
Father Christophermas part eleven
A pattern emerged at the beginning of the month. Very young children and babies would come to visit Father Christmas before about 3pm, and definitely in the
Father Christophermas part ten
Disaster! My Elf has gone sick. She was spluttering a bit yesterday and seemed less than her usual, er, elf, and so today is staying
Father Christophermas part nine
Spending all day in a grotto dressed as Father Christmas is having its toll. It was only a few weeks before this that I was
Father Christophermas part eight
I’m still Father Christmas sitting in a grotto. Yes I am! Four kids came in together today. I don’t think they were brothers and sisters.
Father Christophermas part seven
A ‘grandfather’ was wheeled into my grotto. Wheelchair bound, he was accompanied by about 10 others. There were different generations all gathered together, most making
Why was a murderer allowed out so early?
13 years on from 2002 is, well, 2015. And it was in 2002 that the murderer of Glynn Ellis (I never use a murderer’s actual
The great ‘fog’ mask of 2015
There was a man-made blanket of ‘fog’ over the UK up to today when it started to clear. But what was it there to hide?
My Pumpkin Mocha
So, the line in the large Starbucks secretly built under the stairs in Liverpool One takes forever. Why is it always the case that in all coffee shops
Everything tastes like chicken
So then. Should I eat it or should I give it to the cat? (I ate it. It was yum!)
Meet the other half
Most Scouse females are addicted to fake tan or burning themselves to a crisp with cancer inducing tanning tubes. They do this along with removing
There’s nothing wrong with UK Sharia law
There’s nothing wrong with Sharia law in Britain if that’s what the locals want, surely? How can it be wrong for the people of, for
Uber is really the new Knowledge
Four million years ago people realised they could make a living ferrying people around London in exchange for money. This mutated into the ‘taxicab‘ network
Why we New Scousers love our city of Liverpool
One of the main things I noticed when I was banned from London and had to become a New Scouser was how much hatred there was
Liverpool on the unhappy list
Yep, it’s official. According to an ONS survey, Liverpool is officially the 5th unhappiest place in the whole of the UK! Coming behind Dover, which
Mount Unpleasant racism in Liverpool
As a white English man living in London, I was so used to being a victim of racism that I didn’t take too much notice
Scouse terrorism
If Scousers had learned how to read, they’d be offended by this joke and there’d be a very drunken fight.
The dazzling dazzle ships of Liverpool
Liverpool’s little chugging and insignificant ferry ‘Snowdrop‘ underwent a makeover and became a ‘dazzle’ ship. Well, ferry. It caused a mixture of shock, horror and
The anti-Joe van
Somebody with too much time on their hands keeps driving this van around Liverpool. I’ve seen it in trendy Hope Street, and captured it as
The rise and rise of Duncan Barkes
I recently lamented the ‘disappearing’ of Duncan Barkes from LBC (here). There he was as the host of the 10pm to 1am slot Sunday to
Global’s ‘disappearance’ of Duncan Barkes
I have a lot to thank Duncan Barkes for, but more of that later. He’s a radio presenter. More specifically a talking radio presenter. Until
North Liverpool’s Free bricks service
Wonderful news for North Liverpudlians. A derelict building is now being used to supply slate tiles and bricks. For free! Ok, you do have to
Scouse bullies and Pigeongate
News reaches me of Anfield’s ‘Pigeongate’. Anfield, famous for the highest density of skunk farms in Merseyside, gang murders in launderettes, the blatant setting alight
Liverpool loses its local commercial radio stations
Liverpool used to have its own commercial radio stations. Sadly, by this time next year it will have none. And this is a crying shame
Aintree ain’t Liverpool
What is with people so wanting to be part of Liverpool? Check this banner thing. It’s advertising “Liverpool’s Big weekend“. Apparently it’s the “1st time
Stop pretending the ‘bedroom tax’ is wrong!
I was reading on my local paper’s website the bizarre story of some men who lived in a tent in a park and how one
Liverpool’s longest ashtray
On the tarmac is an extremely large sign, white writing on red background that says, “You are not allowed to smoke from this point.” On
Liverpool’s crack heads and waste of space
Liverpool‘s central area and Liverpool as a city is brilliant. In the last 10 years the entire place has changed beyond recognition. Those who haven’t
Heavy wallets delivered to Liverpool Football Club
I was lucky to see and snap a quick photo of the annual delivery of the first week’s wages for the players in the Liverpool
Why do we allow these wasters to live?
So, after a few days of very large floaters, I decided to get advice. Not the toilet floaters that you have to beat down with
Liverpool bullies and their racist attacks
I spotted these flyposts on a wall of a building in Lime Street, Liverpool. At first they were a complete mystery. Who or what was
Time for a revamp of Late Night Citytalk
Tucked away on a mainly forgotten Liverpool radio station called Citytalk, the late night phone-in show is still presented by the nearly 70 year old Pete
The colour of a Snowdrop
I hate that song “Ferry Cross the Mersey“. To compound the hatred, it used to be played during any journey on a ferry going across
Alzheimer’s disease is so unkind
I knew this proud and harmless elderly couple. They’d been together for about 15 years. He is 75 and she, well, she looks younger. She
Psst! Wanna rent a phonebox?
I was strolling by two olden style red phoneboxes in Liverpool, just outside Lime Street station, the main railway hub of our fair city. Well,
No Fish and Chips in Liverpool
I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. There are NO Fish and Chips shops in Liverpool. That’s extremely odd for a city that’s a traditional
Prohibit those smelly e-cigarettes now!
Well done Merseytravel. They don’t do a lot right in their strange existence alongside the free-for-all of the companies running their bus services throughout the
Apostrophe abuse in Liverpool
Up to 60% of a sofa’s WHAT? Up to 60% off a mattress’s WHAT? What? Sadly, I suspect that there is no word intended after
Liverpool’s scallies on their free bikes
The scallies of Liverpool are extremely happy with their free bikes. These charcoal gray anonymous clothing wearing teenagers are really enjoying the local scheme which
Military Gulls
So. Starlings, pigeons, and small gulls and huge massive giant gulls. That’s what greets you beside the seaside beside the sea, on the North-West coast.
Liverpool’s bells of torture
Four-and-a-half hours. Four-and-a-half fucking hours. Four-and-a-half fucking hours of continuous torturous deafening loud noise. How dare the selfish idiots inside the god-bothering money-box that is
Avoid the baboons. Really, avoid the baboons
Ok, it was that boring bit inbetween Christmas and New Year. And there it was, Knowsley Safari Park. We’d never been before, despite having driven
Why won’t they shoot burglars?
At about 04:40 this morning a man popped the lock on our front door and entered our home. As fortune would have it, my partner,
Freedom to not buy ‘The Sun’
Scousers never forgive. Strike that. There are some within the Scousers that agitate to ensure that the rest of the clan march to the beat
A small English breakfast
Remember when the greenies and thought police told us all that Full English breakfasts were the work of the Devil and we were all going
Taking the Piso
Sigh. I am so childish. I saw this sign and I sniggered. Well, it is a little unusual in Liverpool to see bilingual signage. Strike
No Smoking unless it’s dope
Here we are within a bus shelter in the centre of Liverpool. On all the bus shelters it quite rightly reminds people that it is
It’s time to legalise prostitution
Working funny hours means driving around at funny hours, and apart from the depressing spectacle of the midnight cash machine queues of druggies waiting for
Santa starts to climb Radio City 1’s Tower
He’s a month early, but it does look like Father Christmas has taken the opportunity to start the ascent to the top of the tower
Dessert in the Boot Room
I like surprises and taking risks, but have no real understanding of football and all that sort of stuff. This is probably a bit stupid
The death of talking radio in Liverpool
The late night phone-in radio show broadcast by CityTalk, a Liverpool radio station, seems to be dying. It is hosted by long-time talking presenter Pete
The landing lights of the East Lancs
So, I was travelling down the A580, also known as the ‘East Lancs’ (short for East Lancashire Road), at about 120 mph last night. Ah,
Chainsaws chase Christopher
A man just chased after me revving up the motor of a real chainsaw. A real chainsaw. Little girl twins just spoke to me in
England's England 