I’ve mentioned before how confused and angry radio anoraks get. Well, the older ones mainly. They spontaneously combust if they are faced with anything modern. They explode with messy consequences if anybody says, does, or thinks anything other than they themselves do with regard to radio, which, incidentally, they believe should sound like they imagine it sounded back in the 1960s. Indeed, they will even tell you with the monotony of an old lady who has cornered you in the supermarket and wants to tell you how old she is, that they have listened to Radio Caroline non-stop since Easter 1964.
This is why today’s version of Radio Caroline in the UK is an oldies station. It dare not play anything modern, for fear of random explosions littering the south-east. Strangely, at the top of every hour a modernised announcement is played that has a very modern beat clunkily grafted onto it. This might be designed to anger the standard listeners, yet not be long enough to make their heads actually explode. However, the idea of playing modern songs hasn’t been tried since a brief period in the late 1980s, oh, and of course, in the 1960s.
So, it was with a snigger that I noted an audio stream claiming a ‘New balls’ format and using the callsign ‘Radio Caroline’. I just know that as soon as confused radio anoraks find it they will immediately reach an advanced bilious state. This version of Radio Caroline plays modern bubble gum pop.
Yes, a Radio Caroline for young people. Its format is identical to any standard ‘hot hits’ format, like the local one I occasionally enjoy from Liverpool, Juice FM, or the Capital Radio network. So, really and truly it’s not doing anything fantastically different or new, just playing the faster moving pop hits segued with, inbetween them, a pre-recorded constipated shouting man saying Radio Caroline and cliché straplines.
As soon as the anoraks hear of this station stream, I can see their keyboards on fire as they spew out their conspiracy theories and consider it to be an attack on ‘the real’ Radio Caroline. They will blame anybody who has been declared the demon of the month, and will start on about how dare they do such a thing. Sadly, they no longer seem to accuse me of being behind anything they don’t understand. The last person to do that was some mental bloke who lives in America and spends his sad and lonely time obsessively recording Radio Caroline and storing all its shows on a gigantic server for a reason that’s not ever been made clear, but I assume was an activity suggested by his therapist. So, it’s been a while since I was bad boy number one.
Should I at this junction say that this new balls Radio Caroline is organised by me? I mean some innocent is going to get crucified by a herd of slipper shuffling anoraks aren’t they?
Is it something to do with me? Well, what can I say?
Actually, extended listening to the station should hint to anybody about the background to this modern Radio Caroline, what it’s for, where it is, and why it uses the Caroline name, but I won’t spoil the anorak conspiracy theories.
Listen to ‘Radio Caroline’ here: http://18.104.22.168:8050