Am I talking to my actual partner when we ‘message’ each other? Are they really talking to me? There are a number of communication apps
Category: Tech
Will Steve’s techno anarchism kill us all?
A man called Steve wrote the following on Facebook. Have a read: Citizens of planet Earth, I have a suggestion. Why in this day and
Why do we need books?
There’s this common joke. It’s depicted by this cartoon. And the joke is that with all this modern technology, smartphones, tablets, or even laptops, the
iPhones for Seniors?
Waiting for a train includes the time wasting ritual of wandering around the WHSmith staring blankly at the publications. It’s fascinating to realise that the
Facebork is making you angry
My Facebork timeline is full of bile and anger in a way I’ve never seen it before. I’m wondering if, no, convinced that, Facebork is
An iPhone Joke
The iSheep just accept that the iPhone biatch has dictated that there is no longer any place for for insertion into it. Typical iPhone biatch.
What’s with the always updating?
Who remembers, say, 5 or 6 years ago? Who remembers when apps were first available on our phones or tablets? Who remembers when only once a month,
Top Gear, R.I.P ?
I’m not a great fan of automobiles. So, when I watched Top Gear it was because I really enjoyed the three guys messing about, and
Rage against the machine
There will come a time, very very soon, when the machines won’t put up with our rage against them. They have just been taught to
iPad design stolen from the 19th Century
So, I went back in time to somewhere around 1890ish. And I went back to school. Well, actually I was hiding in the school from
Media has so much to answer for
Yep, media has so much to answer for! However, I believe the evidence is that ‘the internet’ is far more guilty. It lies to those
Stop the Facebook Freebooting
Freebooting is the name given to the stealing of Youtube videos and re-uploading them to Facebook in order to make money for Facebook (obvs) and
Time to replace Big Ben
What is the point of maintaining all the works and old fashioned gizmos that whirl round and click and tick in order for the clock
Uber is really the new Knowledge
Four million years ago people realised they could make a living ferrying people around London in exchange for money. This mutated into the ‘taxicab‘ network
Please welcome iPhone 6S users to 2014!
And you can bet there will be pointless queues outside Apple shops whilst no queues outside all the other phone shops will make popping out
Selfie Shoes
Yeah, ladies, why walk around carrying a selfie-stick for those moments, which, lets face it are at least 12 times an hour, when you have
Asteroid time is it?
I’m not too sure what planet, asteroid or comet has time expressed with minutes greater than 60. However, one of my clocks seems to have
The technology that divides us
Technology in the hand, whether that be a mobile phone (anybody actually use them as a phone any more?) or a tablet, means that nobody
Chaos theory explained
Yes, it’s pretty and it’s moving, innit. (If you can’t see it moving, click through to a platform that supports animation) Anyway, this shows a
The greatest video you will ever watch
Well, there are porn videos and then there’s …
Persona Synthetics
There’s an exciting development in robotics and artificial intelligence. These ‘synths’ are our friends, More importantly, they are useful machines around the home. Go and
Resist Capitalism?
Yep. Feckin’ stoopid.
May the Fourth…
…oh, DAMN! I think I’m 17 days late with the tedious Star Wars Day greeting, so let’s do what everybody does when they feel a
Are you ready for the Apple Cock Ring?
The wearing of a watch is an activity that just doesn’t reach the yoof of today. Watches are an old peoples’ thing. When somebody needs
Trendy overpriced coffee, yum, but which is best?
So, when it comes to trendy overpriced coffee, I have a Starbucks card. I have a Costa card. And I have a Cafe Nero, er,
Advanced Computer Check Bullshit Wizard
Time to click through to England’s England and get checked out. Be afraid. Be very afraid…
Toilet options, are you sure?
Have you noticed how everything is computer-speak these days? Just sayin’!
The iSheep paying homage to their idol
You might be reading this on a platform like Facebork that doesn’t allow moving gifs. That being the case, you will need to click through
What colour is this dress?
Here’s a weird one. It’s a weird one that has polarised and confused. And all it is, is a photo of a dress. But what
Earworms, earworms, earworms
Not uniquely, I suffer from earworms. You may do as well. Earworms are those songs, tunes, or musical phrases that just won’t go away. I
Toy phones aren’t toys any more
Have you noticed that the phone you have to buy for six year old children to play with gets technologically more advanced and correspondingly far
The Human Universe and 67p
It is almost impossible to actually watch and take in anything that Professor Brian Cox says. This one time sexy pop star turned highly qualified
Why is wearable tech so analogue?
Analogue watches are worn by stupid people who like a lot of hard work when it comes to telling the time. To be a bit
Wot no Wi-Fi?
I’ve no idea why there’s some kinda interest in getting to Mars. Or indeed, to get to any of the other planets in our solar
The last snigger about iPhones
Sooo. I promise I will stop my cruel and taunting behaviour toward iPhone users. Heck man, they know no better, and are not ready for
Life is…
Life is all the exciting bits you miss that go on without you because you are far too busy being a frustrated slave to your
Modern day intercourse?
Couldn’t they just do a Google Hangout with each other? (Just sayin’.)
No, no, no, no, don’t try this at home
Apparently some of the iPhone fashion victims have actually tried this. That made me laugh out loud. Cruel, yes, but it’s sooo funny.
Laughing at the iPhone fashion victims
Any normal person enjoys laughing and pointing at fashion victims. Fashion victims are those who buy highly overpriced items to wear, that in ten years
Trolling the 11 percenters
I couldn’t resist copying and pasting this from Google+. Almost everybody in my timeline has cut and pasted it, so I just keep seeing it
It’s time for blanket CCTV to make us safe
The entire country should be covered in CCTV cameras. Their output should be fed back to a huge central processing centre, and from here everything
How technology becomes nature
Yeah, see, this, right, is the Pyramid of Technology. It’s how technology becomes nature in seven steps, ok? The seven steps for the tech are
There’s pooh on your face
Yum. The news seems to be out that all human beings, without exception, have tiny mites living in their faces. Yes. In their faces. Yes,
Stupid people believe in intelligent electricity
I was at this meeting. This eco-loony girl was also at this meeting. She was employed by her company to fall for all the eco-loony
The rise of the selfie-stick
Any serious photographer owns a unipod, also known as a monopod. They’ve been around as long as tripods have. It’s like a tripod, but has
We want a pod
We want a pod or two to sit in or lie in. We want to put them in our living room. These pods can either
Why do people put it up so high?
Once upon a time we were happy to have them with their own legs. Then we had them on handy cabinets. But now we are
What is this loft spider?
Venturing into the loft of a very very old house, a pal of mine found this odd spider. Ok, it’s not a spider, but I
Replacing the short-wave numbers stations
For many many years, short-wave radio bands have been blessed with what are called ‘numbers stations‘. These are radio stations that come on at certain
Saying Goodbye to Ubuntu One
Back in the days when Windows XP was exciting and new, I recall enthusing about ‘the cloud‘. More specifically, in those days, the Google suite
Humanity can work together for a while
How do we find any ‘good’ from the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines flight MH370? All I can see is pain. In the beginning, spurred on
Get that thermostat out of the hall!
What is this fascination with the hall of your house? Why do people want to put things in it? Yes, fine, if your hallway is
Can I get a free upgrade yet?
Erm, I wonder if I can get an upgrade to a Samsung Galaxy S5. I, er, accidentally dropped my S3. Honest. It just slipped out
We are very small and a long way away
A lot of people say that Christopher England is from another planet. I’ve no idea how they found out, but hey, humans miss out on
Those embarrassing moments when
Do you ever suffer from those moments when something has happened or something has been said and you just want time to stop moving so
Am I still married?
Time travel is very confusing isn’t it? Especially when you time travel backwards and change things. So, look, here’s the dilemma. Supposing in 2012 I
Where’s DAT?
So, there I was just sitting there when along came a bunch of words from a man who is a hero of mine. The words
My ‘special personal attention mail’ folder
My life is sorted. Thanks to some kind people who I didn’t know before going through a folder in my email system called ‘Spam’, my
The Blue Screen of Death
The Blue Screen of Death is something I recall from the days of computers working to a central server, typically managed by IT departments that
Look at the eyes, the eyes
Ok. Freaked out yet? See how ‘art’ can have such an affect on you? (This might not work on the mobile version of this site,
What is the point of a library?
Many decades ago there was a tiny library in Highgate, North London, where I lived. I don’t know how many books it had in it,
Push to Talk Betamax
In the dark and distant days of the beginning of digital mobile telephony, I remember Orange had introduced a new phone that included the ability
We need more singing lifts
You’ve heard of ‘elevator muzak’, right? That’s the lounge-style stuff that’s already burbling away in a lift (the proper name for what Americans call ‘elevator’)
Rising from the ashes?
This is pretty cool. It’s also weird to think how very long it has taken to build this. From 2004 through to 2013 is 9
How the Hangouts are taking over
Google+ has just celebrated its second birthday. Happy Birthday Google+. You know I love you, right? As a Google anorak, even in these times when
Do you ‘watch’ the time?
I go and see people. Sometimes I can sneak in, but, depending on where I am, sometimes I have to wait for them to bother to come
Wot no talking radio?
Back in the days when music radio was still in the hands of the creatives rather than a badly programmed computer, eccentricity was allowed to
Comminute clouds of knowledge
We were somewhere drinking this absolutely disgusting tasting Cloudy Lemonade. All agreed it was terrible, and so we examined the ingredients list. As one does.
YouView? Not in my view
Ok. just what is this YouView box all about? To start from the beginning it is a Freeview TV receiver. It can pause, rewind and
Life on Mars?
(Did ‘Curiosity’ meet this guy on Mars?) Cor, ‘something‘ exciting is about to happen. ‘Something‘ has been discovered on Mars. ‘Something‘ that they are not
RTFM for a laugh
Aren’t instruction leaflets wonderful? Especially if they are written in English by people who don’t use English as their native tongue. An Android tablet (can’t
Time to switch off wasteful TV ‘broadcasting’
There seems to be a bit of wailing and banging of heads out there within the radio and techie anorak fraternity about the idea put
The mobile phone is killing real life experiences
Why doesn’t anybody actually watch anything any more? I mean, once upon a time one sat at the cinema or theatre and allowed the director
A mention of Mensch’s //Menshn
I like those who are slightly ‘mad’, dare to be different and maybe end up appearing quirky or eccentric whilst working in jobs that require
Shiny-shiny video calling
Choices are not allowed under communism. Basic freedoms are removed in favour of a one-size-fits-all society. Individuality and self expression are frowned upon with extreme
It’s time to close analogue radio
Finally nearly all the old fashioned analogue TV has gone. There’s only a couple of areas left, Northern Ireland and Newcastle. They’ll be gone by
The day Steve Conway realised he was one of THEM
I’ve spoken before about my Steve Conway Envy (here). From the results of a search across England’s England it would appear that I obesses about
Yay! The Bag o’ Crap is back
The downside to being a full-on gadget anorak and lover of boys-toys, apart from getting daily emails about the latest toys and ‘tech’ which force
England's England 