Trolling the 11 percenters

I couldn’t resist copying and pasting this from Google+.  Almost everybody in my timeline has cut and pasted it, so I just keep seeing it and it makes me laugh, even though it is very cruel about the 11 percenters.  It’s badly trolling them, the poor things.

The 11 percenters are those who know no better than to spend an absolute fortune, and sometime queue up for hours in order to get hold of tech that is already available for a lot cheaper.  iPhones make up 11 percent of the global sales, with most people, over 85 percent preferring to flirt with the far more modern, more flexible and much cheaper tech normally associated with Android devices.

To conclude this article I’d like to fully quote the lovely Simon who summed up the entire charade brilliantly:

 Ah yes. It’s that time of year again when Apple do their marketing stunt that works every time. All the iSheep watch and listen in a semi hypnotic state. When the presentation is over they all discuss amongst themselves the features that they thought would be on the latest phone, but are not – but will no doubt be on next year’s model, whilst shouting in the streets about how wonderful the new iPhone is and how much better it is that the last one. Many declare that they might wait until the next model before upgrading, but due to the onset of an uncontrollable desire to hold a new shiny shiny iSheep phone in their hand in the immediate future, they order one anyway, and will kill if they do not receive it on, or within 2 days of being available to own.

Of course, the iSheep 6 phone will have the same Fisher price interface as all it’s predecessors, a feeble amount of RAM, a ridiculous premium price for a version with a worthwhile amount of onboard storage space – which people will pay because Apple phones do not allow memory cards to be added to them to expand the storage, thus forcing users to pay a hundred or so pounds for a few GB of extra space, if they need it. It will have a bigger screen, but still be stuck with inferior basic LCD technology, because it’s cheap, and allows Apple to make millions more in profits when compared to using the superior AMOLED screens used by rivals which give an image quality that blows traditional LCD out of the water. Apple won’t even state the technical specifications of the new iSheep phone in a way that means anything to anyone because the truth is, it’s never that much better. Apple will instead quote that the new phone has fifteen thousand improvements over the last model, and is thirty times faster than an iSheep 3 was.

A very strange group of people indeed. I will stick with my Android phone that already has the features of the new iSheep, even though I’ve had it for a year 🙂

PS  I almost forgot – they went to all the trouble of jumping to a 64 bit processor because it sounds cool in the technical blurb, but the device cannot take advantage of this fact because Apple only ever have 1GB of RAM.

Pointless aren’t they!