There are two different kinds of millionaires in North Liverpool. There are the ones who get paid tens of hundreds of thousands of Pounds for spending 90 minutes running around on grass. Then there are the ones who spend 90 minutes running around with the grass.
Yes, it’s true. The North Liverpool millionaires are the footballers and the drug suppliers.
Ordering drugs is easy. The initial call is made from a phone box. Phone boxes are conveniently located adjacent to ATMs. At midnight when their free money (well, free for them, not free for those of us doing the taxpaying) rolls into their accounts, they draw it out and then get on the blower looking for some draw.
After ordering, the druggie waste of space has to stand in a certain street, sometimes for quite a time, waiting for the car or van to turn up. It’s a bit like having to wait forever for a taxi from a firm that’s had too many booked.
Eventually they get in, do the deal, then are dropped back out on the street, finally able to skunk up their bodies from the horror of withdrawal. The dealer is one of many making money out of the skunk and harder they are selling, with profits trickling very nicely back up the pyramid to the actual local drug lords.
Usually the dealer cars are previously stolen and have false plates to help make them untraceable back to the dealer using them. After a few weeks they are abandoned and set on fire.
Recently, we keep passing the above van. It’s in all the traditional druggie colours, and has traditional looking stoner cartoons on the back. Surely it can’t be one of supply vehicles? I mean, I know drug use in Liverpool is at epidemic level, and skunk is smoked more than cigarettes are smoked, but surely the dealers wouldn’t be this brazen? With 75% of Scousers permanently stoned, maybe there’s no need to hide it any more?
We see the van all over the place. Maybe it’s not actually a drug supply service, but a specialist in, ahem, ‘hydroponics’. ‘Hydroponics’ is the gentle art of supplying and setting up all the paraphernalia needed to make an extremely successful indoor cannabis farm. It’s not illegal to be a ‘hydroponics’ paraphernalia supplier, because the paraphernalia can be used to grow, erm, well it can grow, erm, well, (quickly Googles the answer), yes, onions for example.
Yep, North Liverpool is most likely full of people growing onions at home. That explains it, obvs.