Are you ready for the Apple Cock Ring?

The wearing of a watch is an activity that just doesn’t reach the yoof of today. Watches are an old peoples’ thing.  When somebody needs to know the time it’s there on their phone. And it’s usually accurate to within a few seconds too, compared to the average wrist-watch that people wear that is plus or minus 10 minutes of reality.

The older generations wear watches, usually analogue ones because they can be made of pretty things like gold and diamonds and stuff, but the yoof don’t.

Despite this lack of interest in watches, Android wear has been out for many years. Android wear has had a lukewarm response from the public.  Android wear is any of a number of different makes of watch that in many ways become just an extension of the wearer’s mobile phone, giving them texts and other information direct to their wrist, or the ability to make and take calls, record their pulse, make dinner and assassinate enemies.

(Well, maybe not the latter two … yet.)

The point being that since more of the yoof of today don’t wear watches, they aren’t going to pick-up on Android wear.

I mean, why wear a watch if you don’t wear a watch?!

Then along came Apple.  Apple products are favoured by, well, they are not ‘favoured’ of course, but are ‘shiny shiny’ and meant for the easily hypnotised. Apple products are bought by Apple worshippers just because they exist.  When Apple issues a new highly expensive shiny shiny iPhone with half the capabilities and twice the price of most Android phones, the Apple worshippers will queue up to buy it.

Indeed, when Apple recently issued two different (one little and one big) shiny shiny iPhones at exactly the same time, Apple worshippers bought them both.  That’s how stupid and addicted to the shiny shiny they are.

Thusly, when Apple decided to issue the shiny shiny Apple watch the worshippers were forced to buy it.  True, they were from the generation that doesn’t wear watches, but Apple had produced a shiny shiny watch, and they had to buy it and wear it. True, Android wear watches are cheaper and far more functional than the Apple versions, but that too is of no matter.  It’s an Apple shiny shiny and so it must be purchased and cherished even though under any other circumstances the product would never be considered by anybody rational and sane.

If Apple was to release a shiny shiny Apple Cock Ring, you could guarantee that all the Apple worshippers would rush out and buy it and instantly place it on their penises.