There’s pooh on your face

Yum. The news seems to be out that all human beings, without exception, have tiny mites living in their faces.

Yes. In their faces.

Yes, YOU, right now, have at least one species of the Demodex mite living in your face. You might even have a number of different species. But, live moving mites are living in your face. Fact.

You see, they feed on your face cells. They chomp away, and wash it down with a cocktail of your natural oils.

But here’s the thing. They don’t have a bum hole. They eat and just fill themselves up with shit. Eventually they die. They explode fairly soon after death, leaving their shit all over your face. This is thought to be the cause of a number of different skin diseases and irritations.

Your facial Demodex mites have a semi-transparent, elongated body that consists of two joined segments. Eight short, segmented legs are attached to the first body segment. The body is covered with scales for anchoring themselves in your hair follicles.

They also have pin-like mouth-parts for eating your skin cells and oils (sebum) which accumulate in the hair follicles on your face.

The mites can leave the hair follicles and slowly walk around on the skin, at a speed of 8–16 mm per hour.

They do this especially at night, as they try to avoid light.

Oh, and another part of their lifestyle, apart from walking all over your face eating it, includes meeting up with other Demodex mites in order to have sex. The mites have sex on your face. There are probably a couple fucking on your face right now. Can you feel it happening?

If you quietly concentrate you’ll feel them.

Feel them?