Working funny hours means driving around at funny hours, and apart from the depressing spectacle of the midnight cash machine queues of druggies waiting for their dole payments to be transferred into their accounts at midnight, and the inconvenience of having to slow to accommodate the huge number of taxis waiting to take the claimants back home, we like to play ‘Count the Prozzies’.
One particular road, Sheil Road in North Liverpool, is where some prostitutes hang out.
We like to drive the length of it counting the number of girls wearing next to nothing and just hanging about looking carefully at the driver of each car. These street girls range from looking extremely scary through to quite acceptable ‘shags’.
The only problem is that I’ve no idea what you say to pick one up. Or how to avoid being stabbed to death by their pimps that lurk in the shadows. Thus, I’ve not been brave enough to ask how much they charge or what I can get for a fiver. This all restricts my investigations to, well, just counting them.
On an average evening / early morning count we get about 6 ladies.
By the way, when counting prostitutes it is really important to do it out loud and in the style and voice of ‘The Count’ from Sesame Street.
“One prostitute, ya ha ha ha ha, two prostitutes, ya ha ha ha ha.” (Etcetera Etcetera)
Oh yeah, make sure your car doors are locked and windows mainly up, just in case the pimps hear you and are packing a gun or something designed to hurt you.
Now then. I have absolutely no issues with prostitution. Well, as long as the prostitute is capable of making the informed decision to be a sex worker and is not being coerced or bullied into the activity.
It seems to me that prostitutes should operate from licensed, official, discrete and protected brothels, with healthcare and security as a given.
They shouldn’t be hanging around in freezing temperatures on the road, or handing any of their money over to anybody else. They shouldn’t have pimps or be strung out on drugs by any pretend ‘boyfriends’ who tell them the only way they can get more ‘gear’ is to have sex for money.
So, whilst we can all have fun doing the prozzie count, ya ha ha ha ha, we shouldn’t actually be seeing any on the streets. It’s about time our society modernised and protected these girls (and boys, when they are out there), by making sexual services a legitimate business operating within health and safety guidelines.
It’s time to legalise prostitution.