Sprinkle when you tinkle

Moan moan moan. I’ve written before about women and their obsession with the toilet seat being up or down, as if they are the only of the sexes with rights over its position.

Some women are so obsessed with men and their use (or supposed mis-use) of toilets that in a work environment I’m aware of, the woman have banned men from what should be a unisex loo.

It’s taken me a good number of years to realise that in addition to their obsession with taking control over the loo, they have a misunderstanding of why men sometimes sprinkle when they tinkle.

Indeed, women don’t even realise that they themselves suffer from the same problem, such is their ignorance of how their wee comes out!

See, commonly women will say, “Can’t you aim straight?” unaware that the aim is completely irrelevant to the path the wee decides to take once leaving the body. As I said, this is true for both ladies and gentlemen. Ladies don’t realise this happens because they don’t watch themselves wee. Yet, their wee sprinkles out into the gap between the seat and the rim of the porcelain of the loo.

Ladies wee-sprinkle leaves this ‘strange moisture’ on the underneath of the very seat they expect us men to put our fingers onto in order to lift up out of the way when it’s our turn to wee. Stale lady-wee under the finger-nails is not the nicest thing to have to walk around with, I can tell you.

Anyway, here are the facts that women don’t realise: The urethral orifice moves about and doesn’t always have a clean and circular nozzle to it to direct the wee straight forward. Likewise, there can be obstructions within the urethra itself which cause a swirl which means the wee doesn’t come out straight forward.

When this happens to a sitting woman she just sprinkles all over the place but it’s contained within the bowl and the lower part of her body (apart from the bits that get under the seat ready for a man to put his hand onto), some of it on her thighs and other parts of her ‘under-carriage’.

But, when this happens to a man, it can, to his horror, come out at any angle up to 90 degrees for a few moments. This can be the entire stream or a small sprinkley second stream. Obviously, as he’s standing, this can mean the wee flies off towards any part of the room apart from the toilet receptacle he is standing in front of. Yes, this can mean anywhere. However, it’s most noticed by whinging women when it ends up on the floor in front of the loo, or over the seat or other parts of the toilet. Lordy, they moan about putting their bare feet in our wee, don’t they? Sigh.

Yet, us men are far too polite to make a fuss about the salty fingernail problem they cause us, aren’t we?

One comment

  1. This was a conversation I had with my wife just this morning. She was telling me that even that wee under the seat must be mine too. That might only be the case only if my member was like the trunk of an elephant and curl back up to squirt like a fountain.
    Nice to see someone on my side.


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