They say there’s a lady in Bootle, an area of Sefton to the north of Liverpool, who calls herself Maxine. They say that Maxine surrounds herself with babies. Adult babies.
I know nothing of this personally, of course, but they say that men will go to her with £75 or more and spend a period of time being a baby. An adult baby.
Actually, £75 only really buys you an hour of being an adult baby, they say.
They say that being an adult baby entails the client being dressed in nappies and being fed from a bottle. All just like a baby, except being a very large baby.
Clients can pay £350 to stay overnight in one of the man-size cribs dressed in babywear, and ask for their nappy to be changed, or get fed by bottle, or play with various toys that sit in the crib with them.
In fact, ‘de-stressing’ as an adult baby can involve anything and everything apart from anything sexual. So they say.
Okay. I have heard of this adult baby thing before, and seen it on telly. It mystifies me in a similar way to the pretty slender ladies who dress up as ponies, although they do look a lot sexier than a big fat bloke wearing a nappy.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s all completely fine if it fits squarely within my rules of life that say what people do is none of my business as long as it is done with informed consent by all parties and nobody is under any pressure, assumed or otherwise, to do anything.
But. But, I don’t ‘get’ the whole adult baby thing. I try to put myself in the mindset of those who do get it and do feel a need to do it. Yet, I just can’t.
Sadly, I just want to snigger, which is wrong of me, but I can’t help it, sorry.
England's England 