Wise words to end 2014 with. Let’s hope 2015 is a year of people taking responsibility for their own actions. And those who hurt others,
Month: December 2014
Avoid the baboons. Really, avoid the baboons
Ok, it was that boring bit inbetween Christmas and New Year. And there it was, Knowsley Safari Park. We’d never been before, despite having driven
The new Ten non-Commandments
So, the Torah (the history and rulebook if your parents have decided you are Jewish) or Old Testament (one of the history and rulebooks if
Five monkeys and the stupidity of the human race
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before
The vultures of peace
So, the dove is small. It’s a lot smaller than the vulture. The vulture is strong and large. It feeds on the carcasses of the
When there is absolutely no trace
The available archives of christopherengland.com step back to 1st January 2007. That’s all but 7 years of ‘blogging’ that I managed to scrape and fiddle
Christmas gifts you regret giving
Sometimes you need to check the age restriction on the presents you give to children. Just sayin’.
People are holding dildos in their mouths
Why are so many people walking around with mouth-willies? Mouth-willies, you know, a plastic penis that you keep slipping in and out of your mouth
The British ‘management’ disease
The British and the Japanese corporate offices for a large multi-national corporation decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and
But god created…
And who created your god? He/she/it’s always been there you say? And then they created everything else? Nobody created the creator you say? Heck, couldn’t
Why North Americans need flotpocketing
North Americans (the ones that put their mouths in your face like they wish to give you a man-on-man snog, even though they hate gays,
Good game, good game
I’ve seen human chess. You know, where humans are chess pieces and the ‘players’ shout their moves to them, and so they move themselves to
When is a box not a box?
So, a box drops into a box, but it’s not a box because a box drops into it. Erm…
Why won’t they shoot burglars?
At about 04:40 this morning a man popped the lock on our front door and entered our home. As fortune would have it, my partner,
Christmas ruined by Wikileaks
This is terrible news. Absolutely terrible news. Not only have the naughty list and nice list been stolen, but they’ve been part released on Wikileaks.
Why do Catholics have sex with children?
According to itself, the Catholic Church requiring its workers to not have sex is directly linked to them having sex, usually of a homosexual nature,
How to build a human
I wish I had the talent and the patience to produce graphics and gifs like this. I stole this from tabletopwhale.com where there’s a lot more showing
Freedom to not buy ‘The Sun’
Scousers never forgive. Strike that. There are some within the Scousers that agitate to ensure that the rest of the clan march to the beat
I gotta grow me one of these for Christmas
Squalene? That explains why sharks are such slippery bastards, a bit like those sword holders. And if they are self-cleaning why do they always smell
Bloody tick tock chime bong
This lady I know is three years away from being 100 years old. Her brain is still very sharp and quick thinking, and not necessarily
Money, it’s a drag
I’m always being told to tidy up. And I’m always being told that money isn’t everything. And I’m always being told I’m a show off.
A small English breakfast
Remember when the greenies and thought police told us all that Full English breakfasts were the work of the Devil and we were all going
Chintz is back
Remember the awful days when houses were full of chintz? Awful conflicting patterns and ‘busy’ wallpaper plagued our eyes. Indeed, an advertising campaign from Ikea
Lawbreakers whinge about being fined
What is wrong with people who break the law? Why won’t they ever accept that they’ve done something wrong and so need to be punished,
Youth broadcasting under attack again
What’s on BBC4 TV you might ask. Pretty much what’s on BBC2. There’s not a big difference really, with the selection maybe being a tad
Social Meeja is so intrusive
I’ve sat in a restaurant next to a table full of people all busy on their phones instead of actually looking and talking to each
Why do old radio anoraks see nothing wrong with rape?
A guy called Ray Teret just got convicted on seven counts of rape and eleven counts of indecent assault. His victims were predominantly under the
Dontcha just hate morning people?
If I was a multi-billionaire instead of just a millionaire, I would never need to work, and so would be able to sleep naturally and
How the bees help mankind
So, I’d run out of petrol in the middle of nowhere. It was a winding country lane in the height of summer. There was no
Look at my cock
Do you like the look of my golden cock? Isn’t it pretty! I must admit I don’t often get my cock out to show it
Taking the Piso
Sigh. I am so childish. I saw this sign and I sniggered. Well, it is a little unusual in Liverpool to see bilingual signage. Strike
England's England 