When Remoaners (those who wanted to remain) lost the referendum over UK membership of the European Union, something bizarre happened. Yes, the throwing themselves face
Author: Christopher England
Men In Chairs
What the fuck? I’m sure I’ve actually had this as a nightmare/dream. Brilliant!
Time to kill the scrambler bike riders
There’s an industry in Liverpool, a very profitable one. Liverpool has one of the biggest drug dealing industries in the UK. This is because of
Gimmie the choice to not buy The Sun
Why am I not allowed to chose to not buy The Sun? You see, I want to not buy The Sun. I can’t actually remember
If you’re cold, animals are cold too
It’s moving into that time of year when we need to think about the animals. Animals don’t like the cold. We need to do all
Who’s behind The Donald?
I’m confused as to what this moving gif (If it’s not moving, click through to a platform that supports movement) means. Let me try to
Always use your wing mirrors
Wing Mirrors are essential. I mean, let’s imagine you are driving a very large lorry or wagon or whatever, then wing mirrors are essential. Essential. The
Comedians and their hate speech
It is now the rule that we must hate our leaders. Why is this? There’s a pattern, too. The more terms that a Prime Minister
Welsh Sheep Poo Mocha
Look what I just did. Look what I put in my coffee. Instead of a sugar, I tried sprinkling Welsh Sheep Poo liberally over the
Facebork is making you angry
My Facebork timeline is full of bile and anger in a way I’ve never seen it before. I’m wondering if, no, convinced that, Facebork is
Made in Liverpool
So, once upon a time in Liverpool, there was a local TV station. It had the non-Scouse name of ‘Bay TV’. Apart from low budget
An article a day keeps the money away
It’s a funny thing, but writing stuff for this place goes through a cycle. Sometimes it’s dead easy and I have loads of bits all
Are these boots made for walking?
Ok, anybody? See these boots with their Batman style utility belts? What country am I in and what is the profession of the wearer?
The successful fight against drugs
I think I really like the way the drug problem is being dealt with in the Philippines. Three million out of the population of 102
The owls are not what they seem
So, driving along a country road, it’s perfectly normal to suddenly come across a tree that has a face and is a head with an
Trumping Trump wrestling stylee
Why does Donald Trump make me smile? Well, I think he’s doing brilliantly. Let me explain. To understand, I need you to think of WWE.
The truth about ghosts
The most common ghosts are the visions dressed in white sheets with flailing arms. These are people who died changing their duvets. They roam bedrooms,
The UK takes in ‘child’ migrants
So, ‘children’ are being rounded up in the disgusting Calais camp called ‘the Jungle’, ready to be brought into the UK. But, all is never
Haters gonna hate Theresa May
So, Corbynistas and those (normally Remoaners) who are against this government (even though both it and its leader are receiving the highest approval ratings in
The spoiler table
I’ve often looked at spoilers on the back of boy racer cars and wondered what they were for. When I lived in East London, nearly
It’s hard being English
Maybe the English will be allowed their identity back once we have shed ourselves of the EU and then Scotland. Maybe.
Nothing is real. We are being perception managed. Check out the latest Adam Curtis film. It will burn nearly 3 hours out of your life.
So, I ordered two rolls of sticky-backed carbon fibre vinyl Fablon, using the trusty service of Amazon. Two large boxes arrived. I mean, large boxes.
Remoaners enslaved by the hidden hand
Conspiracy theories. Yeah, normally the domain of those with mental health issues or the over consumption of recreational drugs. But, with the Remoaners refusing to
Death warmed up
So, visiting my neighbour’s place, I was intrigued by what he did for a living. “Well, I’m a collector.” “Of what?” “People” “People?” “Yes. When
Time for the Remoaners to leave the UK
There are a few things that aggravate me about ‘Brexit’. Well, not a few things, as such, because the aggravation comes from just one source
EU infatuation getting in the way
When it came to voting on whether or not the United Kingdom wanted to stay as a member of the EU, 46 million of our
The very very bad man
Costco is that pretentious store that supposedly provides goods at wholesale prices. Most of its customers are not retailers but ordinary pretentious people who are
Traditional Family Butcher
I’m not so sure that boasting about being into butchering families is a good idea. I mean, currently, it’s illegal and considered a bit of
Calling occupants of Interplanetary Craft
So. Have aliens landed? Is this one of their craft? Is this a communication system, speaking outward to the universe? I think we should be
Proof of water on Mars
Finally. Photographic proof that beyond any doubt, there is water on Mars…
Here come the clowns
There was a time when all we really had to worry about was a zombie apocalypse. Zombies slowly shuffling towards us, or us turning the
An iPhone Joke
The iSheep just accept that the iPhone biatch has dictated that there is no longer any place for for insertion into it. Typical iPhone biatch.
Pump up the jam
Why don’t London have any of these? They want to encourage less use of motorised vehicles, don’t they? They need to learn from the North-West.
Sterling devalued by an algorithm
So, whilst the likes of anti-Brexit sore losers like James O’Brien from LBC radio preach their daily leftie sermons about the sky falling, the truth
Stop giving expats our money
One of the things we need to stop as part of the final stage of ‘Brexit’ is the haemorrhaging of money and the rights to
UK girls head to Jungle to provide sex
I’ve never understood the sexual appeal of mass murderers. However, the more they tortured and raped and slowly killed a person, the more sex appeal
Too many radio stations
Many decades ago I spoke at length with Ronan O’Rahilly, the founder of Radio Caroline, about where ‘music radio’ was going. This was in the
Corbyn – the Millennial Granddad
With Jeremy Corbyn cutting the figure of a pencil drawn 1920s Leninesque character from the yellowing pages of an old well-thumbed book about plots and
Dogs MUST be carried
I have often wondered how to demonstrate to those who, like myself, do not have Asperger’s Syndrome, what a person with Asperger’s, or most forms
Ladies and Gentlemen
I was forced to complain to the management of a certain Liverpudlian eatery. “WTF’s going on?” I asked trembling with anger. Which toilet was I
What caused your bump?
At this time of year there are many things flying around, buzzing around, and they can be bad for your health. For that reason, I
Socialism in photos
I’m never quite sure which species would function under ‘socialism’ and end up with everybody being treated fairly and equally, but it ain’t the human
Union Jack Radio for Brexiters
It had to happen didn’t it. We now have an openly xenophobic nationalistic radio station. Would you believe it? It must come as a reaction
I love this photo, even though I only had my phone to hand when I took it. It is of a stone upon which various
It’s not about the money
So, Ms Junior Doctor wearing a SWP badge and carrying a photo of Jeremy Corbyn, what will make this strike go away? Give us exactly
Why are football chants so gay?
The football season is here. This means that men, because it’s always mainly men, will be performing their strange aggressive singing. Why is it always
Say NO to the devil’s lettuce
OMG! OMG! I feel sick after watching the CCTV (a screengrab of which is below). Ms Erica White, aged 34, from leafy Surrey, was a
I stole this from the excellent satiria.net who really need to bring this magazine out for real. Butthurt Corbynistas will hate it. Check satiria.net out here.
Love these bad boys
I just got to get me this family. I want to plant them in my garden. Facing and staring at my annoying nosy neighbours. I
Remoaners need to stop crying
For more than two months they’ve been whinging and moaning. I’m talking about the ‘Remoaners’. Yes, they continue to toll bells and shuffle with depressed
Lego declares war
One of the perils of living in a house with children in it is that the carpet or hard floor is never clear. Ok, it’s
Keep the burqa out of banks
In these modern times it is extremely important for lefties to scream and shout “La la la la la” with their fingers in their ears,
The story of Christianity
There are many religions, of course, but in the UK, Christianity, whilst slowly dying in favour of Islam, is the one currently embedded into the
Reading a book can kill you
Pictorial proof that books are dangerous. Bloody Dangerous. See, pulling one out of a bookcase is like pulling a plug out of a dyke. Erm.
How to control immigration
I keep hearing mental debate on immigration. The left appears to think it’s cool to just allow people to come into the UK and that
My CAT scan
I have often wondered what doctors learn from a CAT scan. The other day, rather frightened, they forced me to have a CAT scan. I
I predict a riot!
So, we the people, read the manifestos of the parties that we could elect members of, and in May 2015 we elected the Conservative Party
The prejudices of leftie comedians
Ariane Sherine is a leftie comedian, writer, and funny lady (And, to be fair, she’s also been heart-wrenchingly sad). She first came onto my radar
Dangerous Storm in a Teacup
Old people. Especially very old people. They are the ones with a phrase for every occasion. Not just ‘a stitch in time saves nine’ (which
Ye olde radio anoraks kill the memories
Why do old radio anoraks steal and defile the names of old extinct radio stations? There have been some great radio station, especially the offshore
Why can’t Millennials understand logic?
I have spent my life on the internet being attacked by mental baby-boomers, well, baby-boomer radio anoraks, who think it’s cool to hide behind multiple
August 14th 1967
Today, August 14th, is a day that statistically is less likely to fall on a Monday or Saturday and more statistically likely to fall on
Anfield’s Prayer Board
Opposite the ‘Kop end’ (whatever that means) of Liverpool Football Club is a god-bothering centre. It’s a church, but one of those modern evangelical ones
Finally, they’ve stopped their lies
There are lies. And there are damn lies. Look at those lies up there. Damn lies. How many people seeing the legend ‘Free Cash‘ have
Radio’s awful ‘song listers’
I’d love to start a campaign of ‘calling out’ people on the radio. Well, on music radio. You can help! (Except you won’t) We need
How deep is your love?
From time to time up comes the rather indelicate subject of how deep a girl’s, er, axe wound, er, fish, er, woo-woo, er, minimoo, er,
The perspective from inside a girl’s mouth
A day in the life of your average girl’s mouth. This is exactly what it looks like from the inside. Honest. (You may need to
Yes, I know that the minority of Scots seem to want to exclude themselves from the United Kingdom (or the “rUK” as they charmingly call
The whinging illegal immigrant
So, a deported illegal immigrant who was working for Byron Burgers, having used forged papers in order to get the job with Byron, is complaining that
Yay, Radio Caroline’s coming back!
Radio Caroline, eh? Who remembers Radio Caroline? Ding Ding. It’s a radio station that has a legend that far exceeds its reality. A bit like
You like my new shoes?
Under normal circumstances I never wear, and I detest, laces. All my shoes are slip on, and never laces. I have watched people with laces
Corbyn comes to Liverpool
Jeremy Corbyn, a potential leader of the Labour Party, came to Liverpool the other day. He stood on top of a Fire Engine. Luckily there
Byron Burgers punished for obeying the law
You know how Momentum and the Corbynistas love nothing better than threatening rape to females they disagree with, and wishing death on the families of
Throbby Blobby Snort Blirt
Saw this on a lamp post in Liverpool, and my first thought was that the words were associated with the use of a vibrator. You know,
Sandgrounder Radio, same old shit, different area
You are probably familiar with a ‘Scouser’ being the odd nickname for somebody from Liverpool, but what’s somebody from Southport called? Well, they are a
Oh so salty
You ever had one of those days when you wish you’d noticed the notice? Just me then?
Fireside fun with my favourite
It’ll get annoyingly hotter in August, but as July comes to a close we have more acceptable temperatures. Indeed, evenings have turned a little chilly.
Time to get rid of ‘gay marriage’
I don’t understand all this horrendous hatred of the LGBTQIRSLABCXYZ community. I mean, diss them (in a very friendly way) for having an ever increasingly
Momentum’s Cult of Corbyn
It’s only one little poll, but the latest findings of ICM put the Conservatives 16 points ahead of Labour. 16 points? So, what’s that all
Sudden loud noises
I was strolling through a part of Liverpool, when I came across this. An unexploded bomb that was in danger of making a huge ginormous
The last ever radio DJ
There are no more radio disc-jockeys in the United Kingdom. Except one. The final ever radio DJ on the air in the country is the
The holy cone
This lovely and lively puppy Labrador has, with fingers crossed, a future as a guide dog for a blind person. At a point in his
Don’t be a Bob
Back, a very very long time ago, I had respect for Bob Geldof. Sure, he’d only ever produced the one song of note, I don’t
Why bother hashtag praying for Munich?
After the horrendous protracted killing of over 80 souls in Nice, France, and further souls last night in Munich, the internet, or, to be more
Deliberate encouragement of separatism at the doctor’s
To the horror of a pal of mine, the revamped self-arrival screen at his doctor’s has changed. Once upon a time the screen sat there
We can’t see what a cat sees
We know that our cat sees things we can’t see, especially in the gap in the kitchen floor. He will stare for hours. Now we
It’s good to use nuclear weapons
How do you stop being bullied? How to ensure compensation when your house burns down? What’s your prospect of being rescued from a multi-storey building
The gulls are going to get you!
So I was strolling down this back road in Liverpool. There was a lot of gull noise going on. When I first got exiled from
Growing the employees of the future
So, why aren’t we growing the employees of the future? When the lovely Mrs May has settled in, there’s something I think she should sort
Stop filming, give Help!
Un-fucking-believable. The French Authorities have had to release this because, after the awful massacre in Nice, France, most bystanders were more interested in videoing the
Anfield’s weirdos attack phonebox
Liverpool‘s Anfield used to be an area of boarded up houses (ideal for setting up Cannabis farms within) and grey clothed bald kids scuttling around delivering
Why did the BBC sack the Met Office?
So, in the UK, the main publicly funded weather predictions come from the Meteorological Office. Their data and their understanding of the data is also
The selfish factions that hate democracy
There are a number of really annoying selfish factions of our mysterious human race worthy of mention. To start with, I have learned in life
It is time to stop all this division
Let’s do this thing!
Cats and headstands
Sometimes it’s not a good idea to attempt a headstand when you live in a house of cats… (If it ain’t moving, just click through
Was Jesus all just made up?
This Bible thing is dead confusing, innit. Well, it’s not just a single book is it? It’s a collection of mini-books all written by different
The lies that triggered cop murders
Curiouser and curiouser. We started out with a Facebook Live video that commenced recording from the passenger’s seat just after a black man driving the car had
Is the Labour party sexist?
So, the Leader of the SNP is female. A very strong female at that. The leader of the Scottish Conservative party is also an extremely