What caused your bump?

At this time of year there are many things flying around, buzzing around, and they can be bad for your health.  For that reason, I publish this as a public service, so that you can self-diagnose where your bump came from:

bites

By the way, if your birthday is in September you are most likely the product of a drunken sexual encounter on New Year’s Eve, maybe even over Christmas.  Just so you know.