How did he get his leg over that then, eh?
Goodbye Zane, Hello Annie; Goodbye Fearne, Hello Clara
A couple of people of note have left BBC Radio One. Well, others have left too, but from ‘minority’ and specialist interest programming. Whilst acknowledging
Respecting other people’s beliefs?
People that want their beliefs respected should get some respectable beliefs. It’s really as simple as that.
Liverpool’s crack heads and waste of space
Liverpool‘s central area and Liverpool as a city is brilliant. In the last 10 years the entire place has changed beyond recognition. Those who haven’t
The Cloud isn’t all it seems
Curse you, reality-checking sign that takes the magic and wonder away from the exciting techy life I live.
What I think I look like
Yep, I’m a girl. No, no, no, no, it’s about the difference between the two, innit. You know, mirrors and stuff. Sigh.
The water-stones from hell
I really loved this. It was love at first sight and I immediately fancied having something a little alternative like this in my bathroom. You
WTF is this UFO?
So, I was sitting in my garden. I looked up, wondering when I was going to have my ice cream delivered into my hand by
How to deal with queue jumpers
(This is a moving gif so you may need to click-through to a platform that supports animated things, unlike Facebork) Queue jumpers. People who push
$20 is $20
And there was me thinking what really nice teeth he has. Does he take them out for an extra $5?
Where was this lobster aiming to go?
Anybody old or rude enough to know who ‘Derek and Clive‘ were, will know about lobsters. Don’t know ‘Derek and Clive‘? Well, sadly both are
This cat can speak
Everybody loves a good cat video. Indeed, on Google+ Saturday is now called ‘Caturday‘ after the preference for the subject in the photos and videos
The Hogwarts bus is waiting
This is really cruel. Mwahahahaha!
Gazellebikes are coming
If it moves, I want one, and I want it now!
Coming out about who I really am inside
I believe it is my right to declare and to ‘come out’ when it comes to how I identify myself. Deep breath. This is my
The hottest pole dancer … in the world
(If you are looking at this on an old fashioned platform like Facebork, you will need to click through in order to see it animated.
Heavy wallets delivered to Liverpool Football Club
I was lucky to see and snap a quick photo of the annual delivery of the first week’s wages for the players in the Liverpool
Have you got hard wood?
Ok, this is childish snigger bait. Sorry. But it says ‘Bona’. BONA. And look at the packaging. Snigger. It’s got a funny shape when you
Persona Synthetics
There’s an exciting development in robotics and artificial intelligence. These ‘synths’ are our friends, More importantly, they are useful machines around the home. Go and
Barista lurve
I read somewhere that if your barista fancies you, they can give you your coffee for free. Well, I had to pay for my Venti
The truth about what you are doing
This, my lovely friends, is the truth!
WTF Friday?
Over the years I have done things. Things with other people. Things that to us seemed really good at the time. And, of course, I’m
Resist Capitalism?
Yep. Feckin’ stoopid.
May the Fourth…
…oh, DAMN! I think I’m 17 days late with the tedious Star Wars Day greeting, so let’s do what everybody does when they feel a
Oh so yummy
…and it probably doesn’t even help the yeast infection from itching.
They are poisoning us
It has to stop. It really has to stop. How can these faceless wealthy merchants of child death be allowed to continue doing this? I
Scaring the crap out of people
Apparently I am a very stupid and childish man who should grow up and stop messing about. Apparently some people are just not happy with
How speeding fines are just so unfair
There’s a single method to use to avoid being caught speeding. Don’t speed. Indeed, strangely, this applies across all laws. The best and most guaranteed
McRecycle
(You probably need to click through this to see it animated, if you are looking at it on an old fashioned platform like Facebork) I
Shaking off the over-30 year old Radio 1 clingons
I am, as I used to say many times, only 19 years of age. As people around me grew old and got themselves stuck in
Who’d be a girl over 30, eh?
Males are perfect in every way. Females? Ah, well…
BBC Radio 1 to close down
This terrible news. BBC Radio 1 is closing down in June. OMG! The end, the end, the end! The evil commercial radio empire has finally
Being gay just ain’t logical
Homosexuality doesn’t make any logical sense. In contrast, heterosexuality makes a lot of sense. I mean, without heterosexuals we would just die out wouldn’t we?
Cat!
You know dontcha that cats are more than just a nice looking fur ball. They are really scary torturing, killing and eating machines. Especially at
Time to change my nappy?
They say there’s a lady in Bootle, an area of Sefton to the north of Liverpool, who calls herself Maxine. They say that Maxine surrounds
Feeling wired?
Circuit training starting soon. Too much?
No more analogue radio listening
Brilliant to see that the North West of England (and also London) has more people listening to digital radio than analogue radio. Now we need
The Militant Tendency
The religion virus originating from the Middle East is certainly one of the nastiest. It has a very destructive militant tendency. But, as people are
Are you ready for the Apple Cock Ring?
The wearing of a watch is an activity that just doesn’t reach the yoof of today. Watches are an old peoples’ thing. When somebody needs
Forced to drip dry
Well, this is a confusing new policy. How do I get it dry now? It’s looking as if I just have to leave it hanging
Meals on wheels
So concerned about the starving bears in Canada, local environmental groups have volunteered to be the providers of ‘meals on wheels’ for the poor things.
What the sooth sayers shouted on the first evah Earth Day
Earth Day was a panic promotion scheme that started in 1970 by hippies. Yeah man, 1970. That’s 45 years ago. 45 years ago! For those
Don’t get left in the dark, buy this book!
So often the ‘left’ and ‘green‘ thinking people, having walked away from the more traditional religions of the previous age that they were indoctrinated with
The problem with length
See, it’s like this. I’m a big knob around here, innit.
What would Heathens Do?
When Christianity was being forced onto whole villages and communities, usually under threat of death for those who did not comply, the Bible bashers found
Top secret increase in Antarctic sea ice
Why doesn’t it make the news when we get record sea ice extent in Antarctica? I mean, right, for the time of year, the ice
Being overweight is healthy
A new report suggests that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising benefits. Being 5 to 10
Huge cat falls on taxi and crushes it
It’s ‘Kitty’. I live in Kitty’s house. And here he is falling from a skyscraper onto a taxi. Wooooah! Did he survive? Well, you’ll be
Kurds fight back against Choudary’s death taunts
One of my old stomping grounds from my yoof is Wood Green in North London. Unconsciously I watched as it changed and rapidly became an
That small line of dirt
Dear small line of dirt that won’t go into the dustpan, you remind me of wiping my arse. You know, wiping my arse when it’s
St George’s Day is racist day
People who are not English, like for example people who claim to be ‘Scottish’, love to slag off St George’s Day. This breaks down into
Getting pregnant for benefits
Fair-ish comment…
Why do we allow these wasters to live?
So, after a few days of very large floaters, I decided to get advice. Not the toilet floaters that you have to beat down with
Pirate Radio drama from fort on River Humber
Members of a local drama group will be ‘all at sea‘ for their next production – well out on the River Humber at any rate,
Liverpool bullies and their racist attacks
I spotted these flyposts on a wall of a building in Lime Street, Liverpool. At first they were a complete mystery. Who or what was
Hot pussy! Fwoah. Hot Pussy!
Mind you, I’m not sure you’d actually want this pussy sitting on your lap. Well, not unless you were wearing asbestos! But it’s a very
Time for a revamp of Late Night Citytalk
Tucked away on a mainly forgotten Liverpool radio station called Citytalk, the late night phone-in show is still presented by the nearly 70 year old Pete
Royal rumours
I’m hearing on the grapevine that the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate, is going to push a baby out of her vagina. (Or will they slice
Hitler’s parlour games
How history has demonised Adolf Hitler, eh? It seems he was a bit of a joker, back in the day… (This was a joke, btw!)
One of the most disgusting things … evah
It is disgusting and scummy, isn’t it? Nobody in their right mind wants it spurted all over their meat.
What 3 words describe your box?
This is absolutely brilliant. Like everything brilliant it is simple, so very very simple. This is a concept that I’m really surprised has never been
Strict discipline to avoid splash-over
Some men have no idea how to aim when they tinkle. They are almost as bad as women, apart for the fact that they are standing
Radio Caroline anoraks turn even more mental
I had a few moments spare in my life, so I had a quick trot around various old time radio fora recently. Sadly, I seem
Mess with their heads, man
Mwahhahahaha!
The final ever 19
Quite a moving remix, this:
What’s the point?
Taking a selfie every half an hour or so is a modern day essential part of being part of today’s world. But, usually the subject
Thunderbirds are definitely go
No no no no no no no. This is just not F-A-B. This is NOT Lady Penelope. What is wrong with you people? In all
An elephant never forgets
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a
My Kitty April Fooled me
Huh! Man I fell for that one. My Kitty got me. He pretended he was hung like a horse. But he joked, because really he
Moving Forward
You can’t change the future by living in the past.
Those random toilet moments
It always happens to me when I’m out, and I always forget my bowel cancer screening kit and so don’t make the best of the
Not so Smooth Radio
Dear all-that-is-holy. Just been trapped for two hours on a coach with Smooth Radio playing through the entire vehicle. There is a reason why Smooth
The colour of a Snowdrop
I hate that song “Ferry Cross the Mersey“. To compound the hatred, it used to be played during any journey on a ferry going across
Sigh. Huff. Puff. Sigh
Sigh. You know it. It’s just one of those days, man.
Got to hand it to me
Hey, I’ve been growing my nails, caring for them, painting and polishing them. What d’ya think? Good aren’t they? The only thing is, right, I
Radio Caroline sinking
It was some sort of day around this date-ish, back in 1980 that Radio Caroline sunk. It waited until lots of people were asleep, but
Rachel Being Chatty … still
Soooo… I have always tried to produce ‘a post a day’ here on England’s England. This task is not an easy one. In my case
Speaking of Jesus…
It’ll soon be Easter, and that means the ritualistic worship of a ghostly occurrence: A very dead body lifting up into the air and floating
Was Jesus gay?
Christianity isn’t alone in its homophobia. Islam hates gay people too. And so do Jews. Yeah, all the Middle Eastern originating religions hate gays. Yet,
What exactly is Easter?
Easter is on its way. Easter. WTF is Easter actually about? Well….
Trendy overpriced coffee, yum, but which is best?
So, when it comes to trendy overpriced coffee, I have a Starbucks card. I have a Costa card. And I have a Cafe Nero, er,
Your belly has eaten your telly
Yeah, ok, It’s up to 4 years ago, and your telly has got even flatter since then. But, have you gotten a lot fatter? I
The dangerous human-hating faith replacing Christianity
Why is it that those who don’t unquestioningly ‘believe’ a particular ‘faith’ usually know more about it than the ‘believers’? Weird, innit? Take the ‘facts’
When in doubt, get on your horn
All you have to do is press it…
Putting a flower in an arsehole and calling it a vase
There are some people who live by phrases like, “You can’t put a flower in an arsehole and call it a vase.” But what do
The evolution of the desk
Ok, yes, I know this moving gif is really an advert (if you are viewing this via an old fashioned platform like Facebork, you’ll need
Cat Scratcher…Cat Scratcher
I ended up the other day discussing this lady’s habits when playing with her pussy. She particularly enjoyed playing with her pussy in the cold
Would you Adam and Eve it?
The religion virus is a strange thing. It successfully blinds people to the bleedin’ obvious. Take this painting as an example. I mean, what is
A journey into the Twilight Zone?
Man, this is so hypnotic. (If you are viewing on a platform that doesn’t display moving gifs, such as Facebork, you may need to click
Sharia Law for the UK?
I believe this photo (above) was taken toward the end of the 1970s in Kabul, Afghanistan. It is just a typical photo of two
The truth is unimportant for those who tell us about Global Warming
I didn’t write this. I spied it elsewhere. It says almost everything I think about those who fall for the lies of the highly funded
Excuses are running out
Or, at least the excuses were running out. For now we have the neck-saving invaluable:
Advanced Computer Check Bullshit Wizard
Time to click through to England’s England and get checked out. Be afraid. Be very afraid…
Erasing history is like playing GTA for the Islamic State
I am not an anorak of ‘history’, and it has to be said that there are those who love and live it. All that archaeology
I’m watching you
Eye eye. There is something quite terrifying when all eyes suddenly tun and are on you. Or are they looking at that thing that’s
England's England 