Apparently I am a very stupid and childish man who should grow up and stop messing about.
Apparently some people are just not happy with me.
I can’t imagine what I could have possibly done to upset them.
I mean, whatever it was, right, it wasn’t me. I was 500 kilometres away at the time, honest.
Or I was with witnesses all day and all night.
Or I was stranded at sea, or something.
Anything.
I certainly never went anywhere near anywhere where somebody immature played such a bad prank in the Ladies’ loo.
Thusly, I find it hard to comprehend why I am being blamed for setting up such a cruel and unkind trap next to the toilet trap.
The reason I started sniggering like a schoolgirl as soon as I heard it go off was because I was thinking of something funny I watched on telly.
Why does nobody believe me?
England's England 