Royal rumours

I’m hearing on the grapevine that the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate, is going to push a baby out of her vagina. (Or will they slice open her belly and pluck it out through an open bloodied wound?)

(Not Princess Caroline)

In amongst all the slime and strange floating bits in all that gunk the doctors will find a baby girl. Yes, ‘It’s a girl” will be the cry across the nation as everybody uses it as an excuse to go out and get very very drunk and beat each other up.  Well, of course, not everybody will be celebrating. There will be all the usual suspects who will whinge and whine and mutter death threats because the baby is a ‘royal’ baby.  Yep, an innocent baby who didn’t choose to be a royal, will have a collection of the population wishing her dead.

Is that sane? People wishing death on a baby?


So, the baby is going to be a girl.

And, I hear a very strong rumour that the chosen name will be ‘Caroline‘.

Princess Caroline will be named in homage to the radio station, Radio Caroline.


It appears that Prince William‘s mother, Diana, used to be a bit of a radio anorak, and was often found by her kids listening to Radio Caroline whilst she was doing the washing up.  She was lonely in those days whilst Charles was off shagging Camilla, and so turned to anoraksia.

Radio anoraks historically are loners who don’t quite fit into mainstream society and usually quite awkward around people, hence why Diana got into Radio Caroline.

So, Princess Caroline is the future! Ding Ding!