This article was originally written in the 1990s. I republish it here to bring you up to speed with the truth behind Radio Caroline. The
ReligiON versus ReligiOFF
Defo when Religi is turned off the view is far more exciting and full of wonderment. More people need to turn it off.
Caroline bell liberated from false idol?
News finally reaches me that I found almost impossible to comprehend. It was so shocking and horrific that I was stopped in my tracks when
Cat racing
My money’s on Number 1. Yours?
Uber is really the new Knowledge
Four million years ago people realised they could make a living ferrying people around London in exchange for money. This mutated into the ‘taxicab‘ network
How to build a computer so cheaply
This is so easy and can save ££££s and it only takes a few minutes. I mean, what is the point of buying a new
Mass Murder in the USA
The most dangerous place to be in America is attending a place of learning. Statistically it’s extremely likely that the place of learning will at
Men Cooking
Why is it that there’s now a whole generation that have no idea what their kitchen is for? Well, they think it’s a place where
The avoiding the commercials skill
I don’t watch much telly. I never watch any of the soaps, evah. Likewise I don’t watch the pretend quizzes and talent shows, especially the
How to weigh yourself
And it’s a good exercise too. What’s not to like about this way of weighing?
Why we New Scousers love our city of Liverpool
One of the main things I noticed when I was banned from London and had to become a New Scouser was how much hatred there was
Sharing bodily fluids
I’m not sure about this animation. I’m not sure if I feel uneasy about it. I think I might. It appears to be lumps transferring
Official! Jesus never existed: Christianity closes down
Here’s an interesting one for all the Jesus Christ followers. Apparently he never actually existed. New research has apparently discovered that the Jesus character and
Massive human cell division
WTF? (Click through to a platform that plays this moving gif) One moment you are just you, and then suddenly you are lots of you.
Walthamstow: Snakes Outside McDonald’s
Walthamstow used to be my ‘endz’ when I lived in East London. Right around the corner from Walthamstow Central Station (Underground, Overground and Buses) is
The iSheep dilemma
Android can sort out your relationships and your life to make you the King of the planet! Fact!
All hail Comrade Corbyn
So, last week’s Labour conference saw the rollercoaster that is Jeremy Corbyn elevated to not only the top 1% earners in the country, but also
Something’s wrong with my house
This moving or animated gif (If you are reading this on a platform like Facebork that doesn’t support moving gifs, you won’t see it, er,
Radio London is back!
Yes! Radio London is back! Exciting times! Radio anoraks are probably going to have exploding heads! Yes, Radio London is back. I remember Radio London
The corruption of the scientific method
It seems very sad that the scientific process has been so corrupted. Back in the day you could rely on scientific papers to have a
It didn’t rain until September
So, can you remember September 2015? Really? You probably think you can, but those are planted memories. September 2015 never actually existed. However, humans love
September 2015 re-written
Damn it. Once again, problems with time and space and the need to re-write all your memories of September, just as we had to do
Cat and bucket
This is my cat. The bucket is mine too. This is my cat and my bucket in a bath. The bath is mine as well.
This is handy
A bit of fun with this moving gif. It looks so spooky and real. But is it though?
Big L’s Steve James thinks I’m a Barbie Girl.
So, as explained before, I am a paradox. I absolutely hate oldies. Old songs. Especially the same old same old oldies. And in order to
Seeing doubles
Yep. Sseeeeiinngg ddoouubblleess.
Two types of girls
Ummm. Not sure what this could possibly mean. In the slightest. Not at all.
Putting the desert sects into perspective
Frustrating how backward certain parts of humanity are, innit.
Please welcome iPhone 6S users to 2014!
And you can bet there will be pointless queues outside Apple shops whilst no queues outside all the other phone shops will make popping out
Liverpool on the unhappy list
Yep, it’s official. According to an ONS survey, Liverpool is officially the 5th unhappiest place in the whole of the UK! Coming behind Dover, which
Piggygate
So “piggygate” doesn’t have to be true, does it, for the left to push it around and make jokes for everybody to tut tut about.
Smoking helps you relax
I wonder how many decades before the horrors of ‘vaping’ are manifested as a drain on our National Health Service.
Old people swarm onto the back of BBC Radio 1
Once again bunches of old people seem to be circling on the youth radio of the day, BBC Radio 1. Just as bunches of old
Toilet truths
Should I comment? Does it say enough? It does doesn’t it. F’narr.
Exciting new powerful radio transmitter
It’s that radio anorak time of year when the slightly pre-death age anoraks lay themselves in bed dreaming. If their nurse, carer or wife* is
Come on in fam
Woah! What the Feck? Scary. Truly. I mean, if that was really really real, it would be like some kind of drug crazed dream. I
Mwahahahaha
I do. I really really do.
Mount Unpleasant racism in Liverpool
As a white English man living in London, I was so used to being a victim of racism that I didn’t take too much notice
OMG, it’s mental radio anorak day … again!
Jeeez. Spare me. It’s August the 14th. Noooooooooo. Back in 1967 this was the day that all the pop pirate radioships fell silent (except those
All about Everything
It’s impossible to disagree with this simple yet complete understanding of Everything.
Gun threats on a busy Manchester tram
Well, kudos to the lone pair of police officers that dealt with a mob of yobs on a busy tram at Manchester’s Victoria station. A
Scouse terrorism
If Scousers had learned how to read, they’d be offended by this joke and there’d be a very drunken fight.
Infinite energy
We humans have been trying to create the ultimate infinite energy generator. We want to produce energy like electricity but at no real cost, at
Rare moon event not to be missed
Yeah, you must pass this ‘meme’ on. It’s the Facebork equivalent of the chain letters we all used to get before t’internet. You get a
Huge Goldfish attacks building
So, it seems to me that there’s not enough of this going on. There should be a lot more mixing of things like, well, fish
The dazzling dazzle ships of Liverpool
Liverpool’s little chugging and insignificant ferry ‘Snowdrop‘ underwent a makeover and became a ‘dazzle’ ship. Well, ferry. It caused a mixture of shock, horror and
The anti-Joe van
Somebody with too much time on their hands keeps driving this van around Liverpool. I’ve seen it in trendy Hope Street, and captured it as
Two Cows: British
Well, rounding off the far too many posts about two cows, I leave us reflecting on our own two cows. To be fair, it’s been
Two cows: Irish
Not a donkey then? Or am I trying to stereotype this otherwise perfectly fine and lovely people? To be fair on the Irish, whilst I’m
Two cows: Iraqi
Udders of mass destruction, capable of delivering milk to every door-step in neighbouring countries within 45 minutes. That’s what the millionaire socialist Tony Bliar and
Two Cows: Greek
They have a very complex system do the Greeks. I think it’s how they were able to historically be the ancient world’s philosophers and sciencey
Two Cows: Indian
A little bit odd, if I may be so bold as to say. A little bit odd. But, many things in India are odd. Like
Two Cows: French
And what’s more, you don’t stop people who are illegally in your country from illegally trying to get into our country to get the free
Two Cows: Swiss
Is that why and how they’ve got so much time to just produce lovely chocolate? I love Swiss chocolate. And, heck, they take so much
Two Cows: Chinese
How old are most of those 300 workers? How many hours a week are they milking for? I think we should be told!
Two Cows: Italian
Ok, if I wasn’t British, I’d be Italian, not Australian. Lunch seems a good idea. Especially after all this economic stuff with two cows. Thinking
Two Cows: American
I could never be an American. As their empire slowly sinks and disappears they are kicking off and behaving badly. Plus they are mainly religious
Two Cows: Australian
I like the way the Aussies think. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m British, I’d be Australian. I think.
Two Cows: Venture Capitalism
Yeah, I’ve never understood the whole Venture Capitalist malarkey. But it’s the best way to make a living using other people’s imaginary money. Or something.
Two Cows: Capitalism
Yep. Makes sense to normal hard-working humans. How can this be wrong?
Two Cows: Bureaucratism
Ah, yes, that brings back memories of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. As in, when they decided that leaves would be currency and so
Two Cows: Fascism
There is an extremely subtle almost impossible to see difference between Communism and Fascism. Both are imposed on ‘the people’. Both hurt the population and
Two Cows: Communism
Ah yes. Communism. The oft used yet most misunderstood concept when in the hands of trade unionists and Guardian reading loony lefties in the UK.
Two Cows: Socialism
So, let’s start with the ideological version of ‘socialism’ with our two cows. Socialism seems to work within a small community, such as a family,
It’s time for two cows
“You have two cows” is a common political satire involving variations of scenarios of two cows and how they work within various economic systems. Asleep yet?
Is British Summer Time over?
Simon Cowell is one of the best and most accurate measures of the end of British Summer Time. There are, however, a few others:
Orchestrating the greenie sheeple
Those who wish to manipulate and gain power are lucky that countries are full of sheeple. Especially the UK. Sheeple are the ones easily led
Woodn’t this be a good app
(Ok, you need to see the moving gif / animated version of this, so if you’re looking via a platform such as Facebork that doesn’t
Is it time to execute smokers?
Look at this mess! I just had to walk through this. Why are smokers such dirty bastards? Is it a mental thing and they can’t
Islam, the religion of war
The Christians have their Bible, the Jews their Torah, and the Muslims have their Koran. All are books full of far too many words. Far
How to survive various animal attacks
Brilliant stuff from The Poke. Love it.
Make Britain unattractive to illegal migrants
Thousands of men live in rough camps in Calais. They are waiting to illegally get into Britain. They hope to do this by breaking into
McDonald’s takes a fresh turn
Well, this is interesting, innit. McDonald’s restaurants are closing across the country. Now, that’s a thought that will excite the eco-warriors who have been indoctrinated
Doubles
It had to be done. Doubles. There are millions of rip-roaring side-splitting examples. And then there are these.
This is not politically correct
OMG! Like, yeah, have you seen what the agitators and haters did with the BBC’s Top Gear and their use of the ‘P‘ word? Yeah,
The rise and rise of Duncan Barkes
I recently lamented the ‘disappearing’ of Duncan Barkes from LBC (here). There he was as the host of the 10pm to 1am slot Sunday to
My pale skin
Some awful people are nothing more than cruel. This video is just so brilliantly made:
Global’s ‘disappearance’ of Duncan Barkes
I have a lot to thank Duncan Barkes for, but more of that later. He’s a radio presenter. More specifically a talking radio presenter. Until
North Liverpool’s Free bricks service
Wonderful news for North Liverpudlians. A derelict building is now being used to supply slate tiles and bricks. For free! Ok, you do have to
Radio anoraks and their clickbait
One of the most hateful things about Facebork is ‘clickbait‘. Clickbait is a pejorative term describing web content that is aimed at generating online advertising
The Hottest Day Evah!
Hilarious! So, the Met Office, with its institutionalised Global Warming meme fully in place, excitedly announced that we had just had the hottest day …
Scouse bullies and Pigeongate
News reaches me of Anfield’s ‘Pigeongate’. Anfield, famous for the highest density of skunk farms in Merseyside, gang murders in launderettes, the blatant setting alight
Selfie Shoes
Yeah, ladies, why walk around carrying a selfie-stick for those moments, which, lets face it are at least 12 times an hour, when you have
The truth is out there
But … are there?
Liverpool loses its local commercial radio stations
Liverpool used to have its own commercial radio stations. Sadly, by this time next year it will have none. And this is a crying shame
Perception
Heh. Ain’t those across the pond weird with their ideas about how Europe shapes up. Mental. Pah. Well, at least the second picture is completely
Aintree ain’t Liverpool
What is with people so wanting to be part of Liverpool? Check this banner thing. It’s advertising “Liverpool’s Big weekend“. Apparently it’s the “1st time
Asteroid time is it?
I’m not too sure what planet, asteroid or comet has time expressed with minutes greater than 60. However, one of my clocks seems to have
TV remote controls can hurt you
The TV remote just cut my forehead. My wonderful other half was sitting sorta opposite me on the beanbag. She was wearing one of her
Paraprosdokians to snigger about
Well, 18 of them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is sort of unexpected. Apparently Winston Churchill loved them.
L7M’s Street Art
Brazilian Street Artist L7M does do some captivating work. This just makes you stop and look.
The technology that divides us
Technology in the hand, whether that be a mobile phone (anybody actually use them as a phone any more?) or a tablet, means that nobody
Chaos theory explained
Yes, it’s pretty and it’s moving, innit. (If you can’t see it moving, click through to a platform that supports animation) Anyway, this shows a
Stop pretending the ‘bedroom tax’ is wrong!
I was reading on my local paper’s website the bizarre story of some men who lived in a tent in a park and how one
Liverpool’s longest ashtray
On the tarmac is an extremely large sign, white writing on red background that says, “You are not allowed to smoke from this point.” On
Best bra ever
Erm, I hope the Incredible Hulk doesn’t get a back strain from his obviously extremely heavy lifting.
The Sunday Chart Show pensioned off
The BBC Radio 1 ‘Top 40 Chart Show’ in some form or the other has existed since 1955. That’ll be 60 years. Yes, ok, it’s not
The greatest video you will ever watch
Well, there are porn videos and then there’s … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtIYZaliB3s
Ah, those ancient memories are the best
Oh … so … shiny.
Wow! Worth waiting for, or what!
(You might need to click through to a platform that supports animated moving gifs to see this) Phew! What a pair, eh? Have you ever
England's England 