(You probably need to click through this to see it animated, if you are looking at it on an old fashioned platform like Facebork) I
Tag: fun
BBC Radio 1 to close down
This terrible news. BBC Radio 1 is closing down in June. OMG! The end, the end, the end! The evil commercial radio empire has finally
Cat!
You know dontcha that cats are more than just a nice looking fur ball. They are really scary torturing, killing and eating machines. Especially at
Meals on wheels
So concerned about the starving bears in Canada, local environmental groups have volunteered to be the providers of ‘meals on wheels’ for the poor things.
Being overweight is healthy
A new report suggests that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising benefits. Being 5 to 10
Huge cat falls on taxi and crushes it
It’s ‘Kitty’. I live in Kitty’s house. And here he is falling from a skyscraper onto a taxi. Wooooah! Did he survive? Well, you’ll be
That small line of dirt
Dear small line of dirt that won’t go into the dustpan, you remind me of wiping my arse. You know, wiping my arse when it’s
St George’s Day is racist day
People who are not English, like for example people who claim to be ‘Scottish’, love to slag off St George’s Day. This breaks down into
Getting pregnant for benefits
Fair-ish comment…
Royal rumours
I’m hearing on the grapevine that the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate, is going to push a baby out of her vagina. (Or will they slice
Mess with their heads, man
Mwahhahahaha!
An elephant never forgets
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a
Those random toilet moments
It always happens to me when I’m out, and I always forget my bowel cancer screening kit and so don’t make the best of the
Not so Smooth Radio
Dear all-that-is-holy. Just been trapped for two hours on a coach with Smooth Radio playing through the entire vehicle. There is a reason why Smooth
Sigh. Huff. Puff. Sigh
Sigh. You know it. It’s just one of those days, man.
Got to hand it to me
Hey, I’ve been growing my nails, caring for them, painting and polishing them. What d’ya think? Good aren’t they? The only thing is, right, I
Was Jesus gay?
Christianity isn’t alone in its homophobia. Islam hates gay people too. And so do Jews. Yeah, all the Middle Eastern originating religions hate gays. Yet,
Your belly has eaten your telly
Yeah, ok, It’s up to 4 years ago, and your telly has got even flatter since then. But, have you gotten a lot fatter? I
When in doubt, get on your horn
All you have to do is press it…
Putting a flower in an arsehole and calling it a vase
There are some people who live by phrases like, “You can’t put a flower in an arsehole and call it a vase.” But what do
Cat Scratcher…Cat Scratcher
I ended up the other day discussing this lady’s habits when playing with her pussy. She particularly enjoyed playing with her pussy in the cold
A journey into the Twilight Zone?
Man, this is so hypnotic. (If you are viewing on a platform that doesn’t display moving gifs, such as Facebork, you may need to click
Excuses are running out
Or, at least the excuses were running out. For now we have the neck-saving invaluable:
Advanced Computer Check Bullshit Wizard
Time to click through to England’s England and get checked out. Be afraid. Be very afraid…
I’m watching you
Eye eye. There is something quite terrifying when all eyes suddenly tun and are on you. Or are they looking at that thing that’s
Toilet options, are you sure?
Have you noticed how everything is computer-speak these days? Just sayin’!
Watch her squirt
WTF is this? I mean, WTF is it? Ok, if you are viewing this from an old fashioned platform like Facebork that doesn’t support moving
The proper way to advertise WD40
WD40 is a wonderful spray. It was originally developed in 1953, and has survived since then as man’s best friend. I always have a can
What shape is moving?
So. These shapes are turning (You might need to click through from your old fashioned platform to my website to see this properly). But what
Radio Caroline or Radio Europa to make election broadcasts
Radio Caroline is set to return to the air with a party political broadcast telling you how to vote in May! Rumours are that the
We’re all doomed. Doomed, I tell ya
So I’m out for my morning constitutional stroll and feeling all secure and like nothing could go wrong and I stumble over to watch
Manx spells things different
What is it with these crazy hazy Manx personages, eh? What are they like, eh? Heck, I know they mainly keep themselves to themselves and
Blowing raspberries at Scotland
You can’t go any further ‘north’ on the Isle of Man than the Point of Ayre. It’s where the west-ish side of the island
The Bee Sting
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain
Can I pay by wet fish?
You don’t see it promoted so much these days, but there was a time when the credit/debit card companies were pushing what they called ‘contactless
Why’s it called a ‘grandfather’ clock?
Ok, so you really need to be capable of seeing this as a moving gif, and not as a static pic. Got it now? F’narr.
A pointless post
(This whole post was pointless)
The town of coke-heads
Sooooo… Coal. Coke. What if a huge piece of coke landed onto this town? It would make everybody that lived there ‘coke-heads’, right? Coke-heads. Geddit?
Fat Bastards walking
I like walking I do. And in recent times the TV channel TLC ran a two part series called ‘My Fat Story‘ during which the
The greatest threat to Islam
Of course, not to be missing out, Christianity and co did commit versions of this cruel and barbaric ‘terrorism’ all those centuries before. It’s just
You have just been hacked
Keep Calm – You have just been hacked. Terrible things are about to happen to the device you are viewing this on. It doesn’t matter
How to make things psychedelic
If you like the idea of looking at a car and seeing it in this rather exciting fashion, then there is a way you can
Ah, Christmas, eh?
Too early? Too late?
Christmas gifts you regret giving
Sometimes you need to check the age restriction on the presents you give to children. Just sayin’.
The British ‘management’ disease
The British and the Japanese corporate offices for a large multi-national corporation decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and
Why North Americans need flotpocketing
North Americans (the ones that put their mouths in your face like they wish to give you a man-on-man snog, even though they hate gays,
Good game, good game
I’ve seen human chess. You know, where humans are chess pieces and the ‘players’ shout their moves to them, and so they move themselves to
When is a box not a box?
So, a box drops into a box, but it’s not a box because a box drops into it. Erm…
Christmas ruined by Wikileaks
This is terrible news. Absolutely terrible news. Not only have the naughty list and nice list been stolen, but they’ve been part released on Wikileaks.
I gotta grow me one of these for Christmas
Squalene? That explains why sharks are such slippery bastards, a bit like those sword holders. And if they are self-cleaning why do they always smell
Money, it’s a drag
I’m always being told to tidy up. And I’m always being told that money isn’t everything. And I’m always being told I’m a show off.
Chintz is back
Remember the awful days when houses were full of chintz? Awful conflicting patterns and ‘busy’ wallpaper plagued our eyes. Indeed, an advertising campaign from Ikea
Social Meeja is so intrusive
I’ve sat in a restaurant next to a table full of people all busy on their phones instead of actually looking and talking to each
How the bees help mankind
So, I’d run out of petrol in the middle of nowhere. It was a winding country lane in the height of summer. There was no
Look at my cock
Do you like the look of my golden cock? Isn’t it pretty! I must admit I don’t often get my cock out to show it
Taking the Piso
Sigh. I am so childish. I saw this sign and I sniggered. Well, it is a little unusual in Liverpool to see bilingual signage. Strike
Look at the black slave, listen to the singing about gays
Oh blimey. This is just so wrong on so many different levels. Can you believe this was actually broadcast on British television back in the
Why did they steal Christmas?
A fair point well made. It is so extremely strange that so many deities have exactly the same back story. Makes yer think dunnit. Well,
Stone washed reality
So, the beach. The stones. Arranged by a human being. But for how long? Will the sea just come in and smash the formation and
Inside every woman
Inside every woman is a machine waiting for activation. Once activated, they can be ruthless and calculated. They can and they will destroy. Men are
She’s a moist one she is
What is wrong with you? It’s just a tomato! Sigh.
Don’t let the penguins come over ‘ere
Penguins have been adopted for some pretty monotonous Christmas TV advertising. People are falling for this plot to make them love penguins. It’s obviously an
Too much censorship?
This is quite definitely censorship.
Follow my balls
I remember very little from the 1900s. But I do recall a ceiling from when I was a child. It had random artexting in sort
Ritual and Invasive Mind Control
Nasal entry mind control is a bit messy. It doesn’t have to be, but it’s down to the unkempt way that so many subjects keep
Martian Sex
The year is 2214 and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flyer miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about
Burn baby burn
So, sometimes the internets comes to gets you. Today is one of those days. The internets are reaching out to gets you. Hey, it’s kinda
The mating caves of pleasure
This British guy went to America and spent some time with Native Americans. Sadly, Native Americans tend to be rounded up and kept in otherwise
The complete fishing rod experience
A little ol’ lady goes into a Fishing and Bait store to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one
The Last Kiss
This is a disturbingly beautiful picture that’s been called ‘The Last Kiss’. The disturbing part is how it can, if you let it, represent the
Modern day intercourse?
Couldn’t they just do a Google Hangout with each other? (Just sayin’.)
No, no, no, no, don’t try this at home
Apparently some of the iPhone fashion victims have actually tried this. That made me laugh out loud. Cruel, yes, but it’s sooo funny.
The high life
I’m getting a little old. Just had a quote for a Stenna stair lift. Well, it wasn’t actually a quote. It was more a, “You’re
Toothbrush sex
Sometimes I walk into my bathroom, and I could swear something sexual has been going on. You know, there’s that smell of well, erm, mint.
My cat won’t let me
This is Kitty. The vet thinks his name is Titan. We are too embarrassed to tell the vet we call him Kitty, not Titan. Kitty
Can you see me?
I’m here. Hiding. But where am I? Have you checked all the shelves?
Colour me pigeon
Back we go to an area of South Liverpool, well, kinda South-central Liverpool, known as the Baltic Triangle. It’s also the ‘Creative Quarter‘. Everything these
Zipping on the Wire
I’ve mentioned before how much I genuinely love Liverpool. The main bit. The central bit. The tourist bit. The pretty bit. You know, people who
The day I didn’t find Jesus
So, there I was, having been up for days, tired and dead on my feet, stumbling through the woods. I came upon a preacher dunking
Fancy a nibble?
Come on, you’re looking at my lovely home-made biscuits and imagining taking a gentle bite, aren’t you? But which takes your fancy? Top or, erm,
The morality of dishonesty
A few years ago robbers entered a bank in a small town. One of them shouted: “Don’t move! The money belongs to the bank. Your
The Apple logo explained
This is a football thing, innit. Suarez is a footballer who likes to bite people, apparently. Used to have some connection to Liverpool. There you
Pointless?
This could be so very true! Innit.
Tastes like chicken?
This is confusing. What is it? At first you see from the label that it is ‘Vegetarian Ham‘. Eh? Ham, which is pig, is not
Dark things are watching you
Under the cover of darkness they come. The ‘dark things’ are waiting. You can feel them watching you. You can catch them out of the
Democracy and racism explained
An illegal immigrant kid asks his mother, “Mama, what’s Democracy and what is Racism?” “Well, son, Democracy is when the British tax payers work every day
A bit boggy
Hang on a minute. My old tractor. It’s sinking. Into my lawn. Should I go closer? Or will I be sucked down into the ground
A very quick data dump
Not only is it a pretty amazingly fast speed, but it adds up to about 8.73 Petabytes of data transference. The maths works out as:
Yawns are infectious
Can you watch this without relaxing and feeling that yawn coming on? No, you can’t, can you!
What does Death look like?
Death is always represented as a ‘person‘ carrying a scythe, wearing a very long black cloak, and looking extremely bony and skeletal. Yet, even this
The early bird catches the worm
But not always…
What is it hiding?
Can you see what this is hiding? At first glance it’s like a modern day cog in the machine. But inside. What’s happening inside?
White, Red, Black or Blue for me?
Summer is coming. It’s going to be a hot one. And, since I am a rather trendy young gentleman, I thought I’d best buy some
Instructions seen at a golf club in Liverpool
1) BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT. 2) FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 3) FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 4) KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN. 5) STAY OUT OF THE
The colour of money
Ok, this image may appear to have colour on it. However, it is only black and white. Honest. Your brain misinterprets the information it receives
The benefit when you see kelp
I’m very confused. I’ve gathered a collection of very vivid photos of kelp. I’ve even gone and bought an aquarium with some in, and sat
England's England 