White, Red, Black or Blue for me?

Summer is coming.  It’s going to be a hot one.  And, since I am a rather trendy young gentleman, I thought I’d best buy some trendy young things to wear on the beach. Or should that be trendy young thongs?

The problem is I’m not sure which colour thong to buy.  Maybe I should buy all of them.  I’m just not sure. White, red, black or blue.

I am liking the blue.  But do I have to shave my entire body in order to wear it?  More importantly do they do them in XXXL with industrial strength elastic to hold all the weight?

Sigh.  So many questions.  I’m heading over to Inderwear (here) to make my choice.  Which one will you buy?