Not even these packets will stop the cigarette junkies There was a time when TV programmes had people smoking on them. Ok, so they still
What could you do in a room like this?
This is a photo of a room just after I had it built, installed, and finally sorted out. It took ages, man, ages, and I
Let’s execute those who won’t complete the Census
Later this week, selected neighbours will be knocking on the doors of people living nearby who have not yet returned their Census forms, gently asking
Oldest Person in the World Quiz
Being only 19, and living quite a full and busy youthful life, sometimes it helps ground me by talking to old people about what their
Arrrr, who’s a lovely pussy-cat then?
This is one of my cats. Her name is Butty. She is so called because she uses her head to ‘butt’ like a steam train
The Cillie Society
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
The rise of the Dementoraks
(Guest Author: Peter Moore) I am glad that Christopher England has reopened this discussion [about radio ‘anoraks’](here). It enables me to explain some things and
Most radio anoraks are mad. Fact!
Many many many words have been written via this whole England’s England blog place about radio ‘anoraks’. Most of them by me, but a few
Proof that we can’t trust journalists
I’m supposed to be able to trust my local (well, regional) paper to tell me the truth and to be accurate about stuff. But I
How likely is my Bluetooth headset to work again?
NB: Not my Bluetooth headset. Not even my face, honest. The additional information you need: It fell off my ear and into the loo. It
Away With The Wraggle Taggle Pikey’s Oh
(Guest Author: Peter Moore) After spending 62 years close to or right in North London, I moved to the country. I like it very much.
Inner peace on Penny Lane
It was the first warm sunny day of the year and I was sitting basking in it. I was on an old bench in the
Climate Change, Population Control, & my fear of the bin men
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Should we be blowing up Libya?
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I normally take a disinterested or even neutral position on most things regarding Team UK’s habit of fiddling
Merseyside’s Monochrome Men
It’s always been a mystery to me as to why when the prettiness of summer has given way through the shades of autumn to the
The decline in radio studio operational standards
When I was a lad in radio I was taught that your headphones were the most important tool you had. Not only would you hear
A good Pacman workout
Bloody hell. When they asked if I wanted to play an old retro game of Pacman, I never thought I’d get so exhausted. I need
Essential Beatles
As an essential part of my training to become properly Scouse, I stole this (you can see where it’s from so that makes it okay,
Can you crack the ultimate secret code?
. (This page intentionally left blank) ~ ~ There’s plenty more, plus the option to comment on this at: http://www.ChristopherEngland.com ~ ~
My Steve Conway Envy
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
On The Buses with Radio Caroline
(A guest article from Peter Moore) My Word Chris, that is a BIG subject you have opened, with your comments on [Radio] Caroline devotees and
Old Radio Caroline -v- Radio Caroline being old
I recently listened to 30 minutes of Radio Caroline and reported back (here) that my experience led me to label the station as the player
Practical headbanging
Think of your boss. Work this one out. Is this your boss growing a head from up their own arse, or is this a frustrated
The search for non-willy porn
Not my kinda porn, honest. Why can’t I find any porn aimed at me? I mean, right, I’m a bloke, right, and so I’m not
The Radio Caroline Facts
This comprehensive article is written by Peter Moore in response to my own article describing Radio Caroline as a ‘rock oldies’ station (here), and originally
Radio Caroline plays rock oldies, yes it does!
I recently wrote an article about Radio Caroline. As I have explained before, this can be a dangerous thing to do, as there are mad
We need more from Moore
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
McBeeping McFucking McDonald’s
What the fuck is it with McDonald’s? Bleep bleep bleep. All the bleeping time. It’s bad enough that some of their ‘restaurants’ have the ‘tone’of
Say it with penis?
Ummm. Erm. Ok, I’m not looking, ok? Not me, I’m not looking, ok? But what exactly is it that I should be saying with penis?
Liverpool’s frontline against the robbers
When I moved to the Liverpool area from a poor run down London suburb, the first thing that shocked me was the sheer desolation that
Universal Truth Number 1
A lot of people say that Christopher England is from another planet. I’ve no idea how they found out, but hey, humans miss out on
Tidy desk? – nothing to do!
Not me, not my desk, not even slightly similar. Honest. I like my desk untidy. It’s MY desk with MY things on it and nobody
Satire
Satire is a wonderful thing. The satirical writers of our world make us laugh by pointing at those who should be laughed at. Satire isn’t
The Great Water Hysteria
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
The oldest man in the world
Death is stalking me. Well, death is stalking you as well. I’m kind of hoping that I can keep doing things to ping the whole
The lion and the giraffe
I read this somewhere ages ago, and I thought it was pretty thought-provoking, so I’ve plagiarised it for here from my copy that’s on my
Even polar bears ‘deny’ Global Warming
In recent times the climate change debate has reached the news, with a far more hostile attack on those who are sceptical about the dogma
Art for art’s sake
Very nice. The neighbour’s kid has complained of losing a doll recently. Should I tell them where it may have ended up? Anyway, this is
Devotees turn Radio Caroline into a joke
I’m not sure who believes that Radio Caroline is actually a legend. It self-proclaims that it is, but I worry that the ever more bizarre
Loyalty, Friendship and Water
To different people, exactly the same word will have different meanings. So, looking at the emotional or human relationship words like ‘loyalty’ or ‘friendship’ and
Time to cull the old people at Radio 1
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Tiger Tiger burning bright
This doesn’t translate too well into a photo. However, it is just the centre bit of a brilliant painting I wish I’d bought. It really
The cuts won’t affect Liverpool’s skunk industry
Despite the vast majority of the occupants in the Anfield area of North Liverpool having never actually worked, quite a number can be very enterprising
Great is the Truth and it will Prevail
The masthead of the Shetland News proclaims, “Great is the Truth and it will Prevail” and the ‘letters’ section is where this calmly plays out
Where to park a woman-thing when she’s not in use
When it comes to relationships and women, I don’t like to blow my own trumpet, but I am an expert. After many years of trial
Propeller Island City Lodge
This is just one of the bedrooms in an excellent German hotel of art, known as the Propeller Island City Lodge. Situated in Berlin, it
Avoiding the bad press
I was privileged enough to be eavesdropping on a conversation between a number of very well known actors recently. I don’t mean I’d hacked into their phones
Chris Evans and his TV set
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Rage against the rationality
There was a time when angry and spiteful people had to make a bit of an effort in order to unleash their anger and spite
Sprinkle when you tinkle
Moan moan moan. I’ve written before about women and their obsession with the toilet seat being up or down, as if they are the only
The ‘Grate’ Toilet Seat debate
Men and women are different to each other. There are a number of places that this difference causes a little friction. One is in the
Valentine’s Day Hype
Look, I realise that Valentine’s Day is a hype. It is a device used to generate profit for those who publish and sell cards. And
The Ice Age is coming!
Oh dear. The Sun has got his hat on, and he’s come out to play, and we are in trouble it seems. Early conclusions are
James could have been ordinary and anonymous
Once upon a time there was a cute little toddler called James. He died today, in 1993. He was just an anonymous little boy, and
Alan Freeman – a radio legend
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Urban Terrorism
I am probably putting myself in extreme danger by writing this entry about the terrorists that live in the urban regeneration area of Breckfield in
Global Warming explained in the workplace
A nice little video conversation that is probably typical of the conversations faced by today’s sceptics. It’s a little American-biased, but you’ll get the drift…!
Ohh, Ahh, Slurp, Buzz buzz
I hate socialising. I hate people. But, my girlfriend and I went out with friends the other night to an award ceremony (I didn’t win
Many Happy Returns
Every year without knowing, you unceremoniously pass through the exact date, month and time that you will die. Wooh! Less scarily, once a year you
Multiculturalism is bad
According to our leader Mr Cameron, multiculturalism isn’t good. Hoo-bloody-ray for finally waking up and smelling the coffee. The common mistake throughout the world is
The number 27
It was a dark and slightly dismal evening when I needed to travel to somewhere in Toxteth by bus rather than by executive limo. The
Who are the Borg?
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
I can’t understand a word they are saying
I can’t lie; communicating with my neighbours is problematic despite having been here a good number of years now. I don’t mean the demanding little
Liverpool is shut at night
A typical Liverpool street by day If you come from London or any similar place down South, and arrive in Liverpool suburbs after dark, it
We need more guns on Liverpool’s streets
One of the charms of Liverpool is its gun crime. Guns are normally owned and used by the Scousers with sticky-out ears against other Scousers
Sexist jokes and the sack
Mr England and his big cock Mindful of how easy it is to be sacked for being sexist these days, I went up to this
Liverpool, An Introduction
If you are thinking of moving to Liverpool, or spending some time here, it may help to learn Scouse etiquette to avoid having a clip
London Surnames
Before I took refuge in Liverpool after being ceremonially stripped of my rights to live and breath in London, that’s what I’d done for most
Reducing radio audiences
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Peter Sissons whistle-blows on BBC bias
I don’t recall Peter Sissons retiring. I remember him as an ITN News Anchor and I remember him as the BBC’s Flagship Nine O’Clock News
Dragnet to the past
You know how you get bored and so start flicking. I don’t mean flicking bogies. Flicking around the TV channels. I had a flicking session
Behold, a man who looks like a thumb
This week, a couple of years ago, this picture simply titled, “Behold, a man who looks like a thumb” zapped around Twitter and instantly made
Merseyside’s Bonkers Buses (part 1)
This is my first moan about public transport in Liverpool. A lovely London bus stop Now, I didn’t realise how spoilt I was in London
Low down bum
It was a nice warm day in Manchester during last summer. Well, slightly south in Fallowfield, actually. It was here that a wall seemed an
Tribalism is destroying Britain
What are the main problems of this human species? Humans! We are our own enemies, our own predators. But why? Tribalism; the idea that we
Chappers and Dave
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
The Flies
They want me to believe odd things are happening. Gulp. Maybe they are. It’s true that birds have been singing all through the night where
The BBC’s biased reporting
This is an interesting video which alleges a conspiracy between the Guardian newspaper and the BBC to promote the lie that is Man-Made Global Warming.
Bob’s Bob?
Find a goldfish.Watch his lips.What’s he saying? Hmmm?Look closer.Maybe that goldfish is trying to tell you his name is Bob. ~ ~ There’s plenty more, plus
Ikea
Ikea is a ‘Scandinavian’ self-assembly furniture shop. Well, it’s lots of shops. Huge shops. They are making an absolute fortune for the owners, because somehow
Motivate to Metric
Good to hear that Ireland has removed all the silly imperial roadsigns spouting stuff like ‘miles per hour’ speed limits and has properly replaced them
The Met Office is a secret snitch
There are lies and there are bigger lies. And, the more lies one tells the more lies one has to tell. This appears to have
Are TV News presenters and reporters mad?
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Can’t see out … can’t see in!
It is probably the right or duty of every newcomer to an area to excitedly view his new habitat. When I was first thrown out
Only men suffer real pain
Women have been allowed to get away with faking aches and pain for such a long time. Yet, no woman has ever felt the true
The atheists fightback!
Just say no! I’m a great admirer of http://www.atheistcampaign.org and the momentum that built-up in the campaign for an atheist message on a bus in
Why treat other criminals differently to kiddie fiddlers?
It is a general rule of societies in the ‘civilised’ world to despise and ostracise paedophiles. We want them castrated, branded, not living among us,
The truth can’t compete with old books
What’s the best way to inject a theory or a fact or information into the system? Let me expand. Supposing you want to very swiftly
The Piss Poor facts of the 1500s
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was
Radio is a patchwork blanket
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Shave me eyebrows?
(Not me really. Honest.) So what’s all this shaving tiny bits out of your eyebrows business, eh? As you know, I am a completely hip
When is a caterpillar not a caterpillar?
…when it’s some bums on holiday. ~ ~ There’s plenty more, plus the option to comment on this at: http://www.ChristopherEngland.com ~ ~
Are you a Climate Realist?
Click through the above to reach possibly the best place for aggregating all the latest on Global Warming / Climate Change / Global Climate Disruption (or
Save the Swastika
The Swastika is a lovely symbol. It means a lot to a lot of people, and yet there are those who want it banned. This
2010 – a year in entertainment
It appears to be obligatory to look back on a year just gone and reflect on one’s entertainment high and lows. I don’t think I’ve
Welcome to 2011
~ ~ There’s plenty more, plus the option to comment on this at: http://www.ChristopherEngland.com ~ ~
Flash mobbing
It’s Flashback Friday. Every Friday we bring back a golden oldie article from yesteryear. A chance for you to re-read it and see if it
Children won’t know what snow is. Yeah, right!
Whenever it suddenly gets cold/hot/wet/dry/windy/calm or snowy we act as if something new and unusual has happened. Why? Without distracting from how awful it must
Christmas tree fear
Phew! Christmas is over for another year, and my eyes can stop watering. Now, you know people have phobias? Some people run screaming and wet
The domestic violence of Christmas Day
Having ingested four times more than a single human’s portion of food on Christmas Day from the meal out and away from the pressures of
England's England 