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Christopher England asks: whose thoughts are yours?

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Month: December 2015

Goodbye 2015, Hello 2015S

31 December, 2015 Christopher England

Why is Apple so always out of step with reality? I doubt things will normalise in 2016!

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It’s eating into all our brains

30 December, 2015 Christopher England

Have you felt the anger? The despair? The seething? By now you should be feeling it. It’s slowly spreading across the UK. The helplessness. The

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One for audio anoraks

29 December, 2015 Christopher England

Damn these other species that can see and hear stuff we can’t.

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Look into my eyes

28 December, 2015 Christopher England

Get yourself to a big screen.  Concentrate.  Spend a few minutes letting your mind clear of everything that makes it busy.  Stare into the eyes

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Round and round

27 December, 2015 Christopher England

You ever get one of those days when you are so busy chasing yourself around the house that you just step over all the bodies?

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Please only put toilet tissue down the toilet

26 December, 2015 Christopher England

Yep, it says, “Please only put toilet tissue down the toilet”. To comply, I carefully used my bare hands to scoop up the rather runny

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What about March 20th?

25 December, 2015 Christopher England

Why all the religious fuss about December 25th?  I mean, it was an ancient pagan festival that the Christians later ‘stole’ and converted into a

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Dog versus Cat

24 December, 2015 Christopher England

Heh heh heh.

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The same truth

23 December, 2015 Christopher England

Nope. There are some people who believe that there’s some kind of a great awakening happening.  But there isn’t. Druggies and those whose mental processes

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Why all these dildos in the mouth?

22 December, 2015 Christopher England

Why are so many people walking around with mouth-willies?  Mouth-willies, you know, a plastic penis that you keep slipping in and out of your mouth

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OMG, Wikileaks kills Christmas

21 December, 2015 Christopher England

This is terrible news.  Absolutely terrible news.  Not only have the naughty list and nice list been stolen, but they’ve been part released on Wikileaks.

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It had to be done

20 December, 2015 Christopher England

Yes, it had to be done.  It wasn’t me. Nobody saw me do it. I mean, why would I deface a notice? But, it had

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Philosophy, Metaphysics, Theology and Science

19 December, 2015 Christopher England

Innit.

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God confusion

18 December, 2015 Christopher England

Maybe. Just maybe. Maybe god was scared of the Pharaoh?  No? Ok, you explain it…!

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Which are the actual sheeple, eh?

17 December, 2015 Christopher England

No, I’m the only conscious human in a world of sheep.  I really am.  It’s not you, it’s me.

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Father Christophermas part thirteen

16 December, 2015 Christopher England

Well, Christmas Eve is the last day that Father Christmas is available to be visited by the boys and girls of the world.  Christmas Eve

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Father Christophermas part twelve

15 December, 2015 Christopher England

Aha. Today all the mastic and the 10 minutes of carefully putting my Father Christmas beard in place and making sure it is properly glued

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Father Christophermas part eleven

14 December, 2015 Christopher England

A pattern emerged at the beginning of the month.  Very young children and babies would come to visit Father Christmas before about 3pm, and definitely in the

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Father Christophermas part ten

13 December, 2015 Christopher England

Disaster!  My Elf has gone sick. She was spluttering a bit yesterday and seemed less than her usual, er, elf, and so today is staying

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Father Christophermas part nine

12 December, 2015 Christopher England

Spending all day in a grotto dressed as Father Christmas is having its toll.  It was only a few weeks before this that I was

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Father Christophermas part eight

11 December, 2015 Christopher England

I’m still Father Christmas sitting in a grotto.  Yes I am! Four kids came in together today.  I don’t think they were brothers and sisters.

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Father Christophermas part seven

10 December, 2015 Christopher England

A ‘grandfather’ was wheeled into my grotto.  Wheelchair bound, he was accompanied by about 10 others. There were different generations all gathered together, most making

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Father Christophermas part six

9 December, 2015 Christopher England

There are only a few different types of parents or grandparents.  And, it’s mainly grandparents that are the awful pushy ones.  Parents maybe less so.

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Father Christophermas part five

8 December, 2015 Christopher England

There are only a few different types of parents or grandparents.  And, it’s mainly grandparents that are the awful pushy ones.  Parents maybe less so.

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Father Christophermas part four

7 December, 2015 Christopher England

As a Liverpudlian Father Christmas, I’m starting to notice that every child has one of a small selection of names. Why is nearly every boy

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Father Christophermas part three

6 December, 2015 Christopher England

Suited and booted, bearded and wigged, I am now Father Christmas.  A grotto had been found for me, and day one was to consist of

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Father Christophermas part two

5 December, 2015 Christopher England

How hard can it be dressing up as Father Christmas and working in a Grotto?  It must be dead easy, right? Sigh. The first thing

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Father Christophermas part one

4 December, 2015 Christopher England

I think telling kids that Father Christmas exists is child abuse.  Period. I believe it is cruel.  I believe it should be outlawed and any

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Be like Jeremy

3 December, 2015 Christopher England

This is Jeremy. Jeremy believes that ISIS and other terrorists are our friends and comrades. Jeremy wants to chat with them about their stronger points.

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Clockwork brains are mental

2 December, 2015 Christopher England

I’ve studied this moving gif (If it’s not moving for you, click through to a platform that shows moving gifs) for a while.  I think it’s

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The clouds have knitting needles

1 December, 2015 Christopher England

Wow, look at what my bedside radio recently told me was happening weather-wise. Liverpool was facing knitting needles being shot from the clouds.  Actual white

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Christopher England:

A dis/misplaced Londoner now in Liverpool, yet remaining a free-thinking and commentating observer of media, people watcher, reality checking truth detective, future trend predictor and complete all round tosser.

Quoting & Republication:

© Christopher England 1995 - 2018
Unless specified on an individual article basis, you may quote and republish articles as long as a full credit is given to their point of origin, including a link to England's England (christopherengland.com).

CONTACT CHRISTOPHER:

hi@christopherengland.com
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