Why is Apple so always out of step with reality? I doubt things will normalise in 2016!
Month: December 2015
It’s eating into all our brains
Have you felt the anger? The despair? The seething? By now you should be feeling it. It’s slowly spreading across the UK. The helplessness. The
One for audio anoraks
Damn these other species that can see and hear stuff we can’t.
Look into my eyes
Get yourself to a big screen. Concentrate. Spend a few minutes letting your mind clear of everything that makes it busy. Stare into the eyes
Round and round
You ever get one of those days when you are so busy chasing yourself around the house that you just step over all the bodies?
Please only put toilet tissue down the toilet
Yep, it says, “Please only put toilet tissue down the toilet”. To comply, I carefully used my bare hands to scoop up the rather runny
What about March 20th?
Why all the religious fuss about December 25th? I mean, it was an ancient pagan festival that the Christians later ‘stole’ and converted into a
Dog versus Cat
Heh heh heh.
The same truth
Nope. There are some people who believe that there’s some kind of a great awakening happening. But there isn’t. Druggies and those whose mental processes
Why all these dildos in the mouth?
Why are so many people walking around with mouth-willies? Mouth-willies, you know, a plastic penis that you keep slipping in and out of your mouth
OMG, Wikileaks kills Christmas
This is terrible news. Absolutely terrible news. Not only have the naughty list and nice list been stolen, but they’ve been part released on Wikileaks.
It had to be done
Yes, it had to be done. It wasn’t me. Nobody saw me do it. I mean, why would I deface a notice? But, it had
God confusion
Maybe. Just maybe. Maybe god was scared of the Pharaoh? No? Ok, you explain it…!
Which are the actual sheeple, eh?
No, I’m the only conscious human in a world of sheep. I really am. It’s not you, it’s me.
Father Christophermas part thirteen
Well, Christmas Eve is the last day that Father Christmas is available to be visited by the boys and girls of the world. Christmas Eve
Father Christophermas part twelve
Aha. Today all the mastic and the 10 minutes of carefully putting my Father Christmas beard in place and making sure it is properly glued
Father Christophermas part eleven
A pattern emerged at the beginning of the month. Very young children and babies would come to visit Father Christmas before about 3pm, and definitely in the
Father Christophermas part ten
Disaster! My Elf has gone sick. She was spluttering a bit yesterday and seemed less than her usual, er, elf, and so today is staying
Father Christophermas part nine
Spending all day in a grotto dressed as Father Christmas is having its toll. It was only a few weeks before this that I was
Father Christophermas part eight
I’m still Father Christmas sitting in a grotto. Yes I am! Four kids came in together today. I don’t think they were brothers and sisters.
Father Christophermas part seven
A ‘grandfather’ was wheeled into my grotto. Wheelchair bound, he was accompanied by about 10 others. There were different generations all gathered together, most making
Father Christophermas part six
There are only a few different types of parents or grandparents. And, it’s mainly grandparents that are the awful pushy ones. Parents maybe less so.
Father Christophermas part five
There are only a few different types of parents or grandparents. And, it’s mainly grandparents that are the awful pushy ones. Parents maybe less so.
Father Christophermas part four
As a Liverpudlian Father Christmas, I’m starting to notice that every child has one of a small selection of names. Why is nearly every boy
Father Christophermas part three
Suited and booted, bearded and wigged, I am now Father Christmas. A grotto had been found for me, and day one was to consist of
Father Christophermas part two
How hard can it be dressing up as Father Christmas and working in a Grotto? It must be dead easy, right? Sigh. The first thing
Father Christophermas part one
I think telling kids that Father Christmas exists is child abuse. Period. I believe it is cruel. I believe it should be outlawed and any
Be like Jeremy
This is Jeremy. Jeremy believes that ISIS and other terrorists are our friends and comrades. Jeremy wants to chat with them about their stronger points.
Clockwork brains are mental
I’ve studied this moving gif (If it’s not moving for you, click through to a platform that shows moving gifs) for a while. I think it’s
The clouds have knitting needles
Wow, look at what my bedside radio recently told me was happening weather-wise. Liverpool was facing knitting needles being shot from the clouds. Actual white
England's England 