This is terrible news. Absolutely terrible news. Not only have the naughty list and nice list been stolen, but they’ve been part released on Wikileaks.
Billions of good children won’t be getting presents on Christmas Day. And billions of naughty children will be getting presents on Christmas Day.
Because the lists were actually stolen, and Santa has no back-ups to his rather old fashioned parchments containing the names, Santa and his Elves are at a loss to know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice.
He no longer has a list he can check twice.
Meanwhile, selected copies of the naughty and nice lists appearing on Wikileaks have caused embarrassment to those named, and started a whole legal procedure against Santa citing data protection and child protection. What a can of worms!
It’s at times like this that you realise exactly how dangerous and evil – anti-Christmas, even – websites like Wikileaks actually are.
Nasty people. Bad Wikileaks.