Tie = Lie = You Buy

Body language is a funny thing. Through it, you can supposedly tell all you want to know about a person. But there are some people who are a little too confused to pick up on body language. For these people, the tie was invented.

Liar Attire

It’s called a tie, because it rhymes with ‘lie’ and also ‘buy’.

Broadly speaking, the people you meet who are wearing a tie have something they want you to buy. To get you to buy it they will probably lie.

Nature has kindly provided this tool of identification for potential victims who are unable to read the more subtle body language such as the huge insincere smile. The crazy thing about nature’s trick is that the wearers of ties don’t realise that it is the equivalent of a huge flashing neon sign saying “Con man approaching”; they just wear it obliviously.

Some men try to outsell each other, and so they will enter into battle armed with ties. The most expensive tie will battle the cheaper tie, and use as intimidation the fact that they cost more. A group of men wearing ties and sitting around a table at a meeting are all trying to lie to each other and sell their lie. Yet, nobody at the meeting will realise that they’ve all given themselves away by wearing ties in the first place.

Honest people don’t wear ties. They are happy to be open (necked) and to tell the truth, even if they are trying to sell something. They aren’t trying to rip you off.

Men are far too stupid to finally confine the tie to history and start to wear more relaxed and complimentary attire. But in the meantime at least we all know:

If he’s wearing a tie he ain’t a high flyer – just another liar.