Time for more guns on Liverpool’s streets

One of the charms of Liverpool is its gun crime.

Guns are normally owned and used by the Scousers with sticky-out ears against other Scousers with sticky-out ears.

The sticky-out ears thing is interesting because it appears to have some kind of correlation to drug dependency and anti-social behaviour, and, of course, gun ownership.  I don’t know if looking like a toby-jug when examining yourself in a mirror turns you and makes you want to become a gun toting junkie, but it must have some kind of connection. The more sticky-out the more an anti-social arse the person becomes.

Gun crime is so common in Liverpool that it doesn’t even make the local paper unless somebody actually dies.  Most use of guns is gang-on-gang so ordinary people don’t have to fear them unless they are in the wrong place at the wrong time and get caught in the crossfire, or they are working in the Gregs or Sayers that are regularly robbed at gunpoint.

Let’s make up a percentage, and imagine that maybe 97% of gun usage in Liverpool is one druggie shooting at another druggie.  This being the case, we spend thousands of Pounds every year, and even have a dedicated Police squad called ‘Matrix’ burning through resources dealing with trying to find out which paranoid scumbag fired at which other paranoid scumbag.  Why are we bothering?

In these times of cutbacks what’s the point?  It certainly isn’t working to reduce the attempted murders of the toby-jugs is it?

I think it’s time for a radically different approach.

What we need to do is to arm them with better weapons.  A lot of the guns they use are converted replicas and aren’t too accurate or reliable when fired.  That’s why they keep missing instead of killing each other outright.  It probably also contributes to innocent passers-by being shot at by mistake.  Add to better weapons, points in each police station where they could freely collect bullets, a little bit of training, maybe on a police gun range, and pretty soon these pointless people who are a drain on the economy would be up to speed on how to correctly stalk and kill each other properly. Free nightsights for their weapons might help too.

All we’d then have to do is sit back and wait.  Maybe a bin-lorry could be on stand-by to go around collecting the bodies once the shoot-outs had finished.  The scally scum would have self cleansed without too much cost on our part.

All too often we tie up the courts and the prisons with scally scum, and this costs so much.  Not to mention they are consuming oxygen that could be breathed by human beings.

It’s time to break the cycle by letting them kill themselves off.  Once a scally is dead it costs us nothing.  Ok, the family weep and the alcoholic mothers scream, but it is usually their fault their sons (and daughters) became scallies in the first place, so they should have thought of the consequences of not bringing up their children properly, shouldn’t they?

I think that after a couple of months of rat on rat action, the streets of Liverpool would be safe and scally free.

The back seats of buses would stop smelling of skunk, and there wouldn’t be gangs of menacingly dark charcoal coloured “North Face” branded clothing wearing attack-dog holding scum hanging around in front of off-licences trying to sell crack.

It would save us a fortune, and Liverpool would become safer and more fun instead of being controlled by anti-social behaviour and fear.

You know I’m right, right?