Female Farts

Ever wondered why a) women never fart until you’ve known / lived with them for 5 years? b) why they believe their farts do not smell of the dead rats and concentrated bubonic plague juice stored up their arses?

It’s because they initially store their farts in a special bag that’s in their belly, waiting until you are not there, asleep, or at work, before they let them all out.  They also believe that special fairies help them hide the smell by wrapping their farts in a delicate sweet smelling bubble.

The latter isn’t true, of course, but based on their bad sense of smell when it comes to their own farts. Every man knows that female farts can be fatal if accidentally breathed in, but most have to pretend they aren’t, in order to ensure their own safety from an angry woman.  Fact!