Yes, a woman had a baby

One of the most fascinating things surrounding the birth of the baby Jesus Windsor (to Kate and Wills) was how conveniently for the whole of this week so far, nothing else has happened.

Such is the power of the baby Jesus Windsor.

Yep, all wars around the world, all poverty and starvation, all natural disasters, and all those pesky other tales of murder and man’s inhumanity to man have just stopped.  My, the media organisations must be saving a small fortune.  Instead of flack jackets and protection from sudden sniper bullets, all they have to wear is false fixed smiles like they’ve just smoked the most amazing spliff in a 1970s Woodstock festival backstage love-fest.  Then they have to expand a very tiny piece of information into hours and hours and even more hours of output to camera.

So, what are those tiny pieces of information?

1) A woman has had a baby.

2) Nobody watching, nor those talking at them, actually personally knows the woman who has had a baby.

3) The baby was male, which is also the sex of his father.

4) Nobody watching, nor those talking at them, actually personally knows the man whose wife has had a baby.

5) The baby weighed some weight that most of the world doesn’t understand because it was expressed in some ancient imperial measurement system only used in the UK.

6) The baby will be given about six forenames that are from a very tiny selection available to him, recycled from history, instead of reflecting the modern world we live in.

I mean, why can’t he be Prince Leroy Mohammed Windsor?

So, apart from the world standing still, with all fighting and disaster suddenly stopping, social media is alive with three different types of ‘posters’.

The first are the forelock touching, bowing, fawning ones mentioning in obsessive celebration all they can think of about the baby they don’t know and will never meet.

The second are those who are actually posting without mentioning it.

The third are the posters obsessively mentioning that they are not going to mention it, excitedly mentioning those who are mentioning it, manically mentioning those who are negatively mentioning it, and filling my ‘stream’ with constant reminders that a woman had a baby.