I write about all manner of subjects ranging from how evil the state of Israel is to be slowly killing the Palestinians in Gazza, through
Category: Uncategorized
You decide. Strutting his funky stuff to let his manhood swing in the air, or desperately trying to shake off a cling-on before resorting to
Shut the fuck up in cinemas
How are we going to get people to shut the fuck up in cinemas? I’m not being old here, ok? I go to a cinema,
Forget about the body scanners! I quite like the idea of having to change into special clothes provided by the airline, a bit like when
In the bath with BBC Radio Merseyside
I may have mentioned this in public before, but if not here goes. In order to listen to random radio stations and get a gist
OMG, they killed CityTalk!
Bloody hell. Daytime CityTalk here in Liverpool is now a complete joke. They’ve sacked all the talking presenters and a typical daytime now looks like
I’m confused. Barak Obama, the President of the United States of America, is half white and half black. Some might call this ‘half-caste’, or more
Customer: A bag of chips please. Server: Do you want salt and vinegar with that? Customer: Yes please. Server: There you are sir, £51 please.
Equality or not?
So… a lot of the job application forms, mainly those put out by the politically correct luvvies that run the public sector, suggest that applicants
The Hacker’s Diet
Have you noticed that Weightwatchers and the like are mainly male-free? So what is a man to do if he’s a big fat bastard and
Nimble or what? I wonder if she lap dances. Hubba hubba. (Source: http://embed.break.com/)
So, the lovely British Gas make obscene amounts of profit, forcing my bill up month after month, and then condescendingly send me some ‘free’ energy
Who is Christopher England?
As you will see from the archive I produce a blog a day on random things that interest me. Some of it is childish and trivial,
Always made me laugh, this one. I’ve got it on me wall in my home office. And it’s true.
Welcome to the ‘tens’
Here we are in the ‘tens’ then. The ‘noughties’ felt a bit odd to say. Even ‘tens’ doesn’t feel as warm and fluffy as anything
Happy New Year. Yes, tacky picture, I agree. But let’s start the ‘tens’ as we mean to carry on, eh?
Drink?
Yesch pleez misswaitresess, could I hava bottle of Dom Perigerr, Dom Pingeron, Dom Perryyon pleez for me anma friendsch pleez. Weera havin a great time
The Sadder Radio Caroline Legacy
One of the saddest legacies of the offshore pop pirates of 50 years ago is the enthusiast known as an ‘anorak’. Whilst the modern world
Honest Sex
I’ve long been sympathetic to people who are into strange and unusual sexual practices like swinging. I’m not a swinger, honest. That’s mainly because I’m
Erm…I hope everybody enjoyed whatever they got for Christmas…
Can we ‘deprogram’ suicide bombers?
On Christmas Day yet another poor soul carried out his programming to blow himself up on an airliner and kill all its occupants in the
J2O. Not just any J2O. J2O’s ‘Winter Berry’ flavour. Oh my goodness. I can’t stop drinking it. It’s a brilliant fusion of cherry and grape.
Merry Christmas everybody! 🙂
Didn’t they used to punish women quite harshly for adultery back in those days? How come Mary was spared?
CityTalk to lose its Magic?
Interesting and somewhat sad to hear that all the presenters on Liverpool’s CityTalk have been sacked. Well, not sacked, but are not having their contracts
That video (2 girls, 1 cup)
There’s a trend at the moment. It’s the filling of Youtube with videos of people’s reactions as they watch “2Girls 1Cup”, but have you actually
Anybody considered that this Global Recession is really just a way of slowing the markets down enough to give the poor a chance to buy
Google Wave? What’s it for?
I love Google. Fact. Whatever mind-bending drug they transmit that makes them and their products addictive, then, yep, I’m hooked. I use Google Apps for
Now that the ‘Earth Liberation Front’ or whatever their name of the day is have seriously concluded that they need to wipe a quarter of
Scepticism is good
Quite a few decades ago when the thought-gods of environment were telling their drones what to believe about the evils of nuclear power back in
Hey, wouldn’t it be brilliant if to get from dry and normal to this level of beyond freezing took only 5 seconds. Scary or what?
If you’re worried about your carbon footprint, just go kill yourself – that’ll get rid of it permanently! Christopher England just said that!
Quite a few decades ago the panic was that we were ALL GOING TO DIE from a global nuclear catastrophe. Then we were ALL GOING
What a brilliant conversation. Are all of the Greenpeace drones like this poor girl? How come people really come out and attend rallies without knowing
Is the sun about to go out? PANIC! PANIC!
What a lovely picture of our Sun in happier times when it used to look after us with the odd flare or two. Sigh. Those
Bangladesh is drowning
As you know, the whole man made global warming bandwagon thing is made up. More and more are waking up to the fact that human
Let’s hope this campaign helps irradiate the child abuse that religious parents are so happy to commit on their babies and children.
What a beautiful picture of a spectacular ‘show’ witnessed by hundreds of Norwegians early yesterday morning. It looks like it’s ‘photoshopped’, but it’s a genuine
Will we ever stop the X Factor killing music?
For 3 solid months up to and including every bloody Christmas the charts are taken over and controlled by the X Factor and Simon Cowell.
Google Chrome
After years of flip-flopping between Internet Explorer and Firefox, I have now settled on the vastly superior Google Chrome. Internet Explorer always seems slow and
As you know, next week we are ALL GOING TO DIE from a meteorite hitting Earth! Ok, maybe not, it’s just a spectacular meteor shower,
Javier Cuadros on Climategate
I wrote angrily about the whole ‘Climategate’ scam some days ago (Do a search on christopherengland.com for ‘climate’). Since then it has been one of
The human prime directive you ask? Well, humans are here with one single purpose – to catalogue everything. Humans are this solar system’s librarians. All
The incompatibility of the Pope and his drones
This Pope fellow. He went to Australia a few years ago (where they are years ahead of the UK – they cancelled Big Brother way
Charge the dog owners with murder!
So yet another child is mauled to death by a carefully bred and deliberately kept illegal attack dog. What is the obsession that northerners have
Brilliant I tell ya, brilliant. Just wait ‘till their balls drop. (No, I’m not a Catholic Priest!)
Climategate: Who can we trust with the truth?
So then. Somebody hacks into one of the mailservers of the University of East Anglia and downloads huge chunks of data including all the mail
Is it just me or has Noel Edmonds changed and become a very strange, straight and slightly scary man?Gone are the days of having a
Bloody hell! Is it me or has Tony Blair suddenly aged massively in the last couple of years? He looks about 70. Woah! Sod Catholicism
The search for non-willy porn
Why can’t I find any porn aimed at me? I mean, right, I’m a bloke, right, and so I’m not interested in men’s willies, am
Think of your boss. Work this one out. Is this your boss growing a head from up their own arse, or is this a frustrated
How come a PC mouse comes as standard with a left button, a right button and a scroller wheel, yet a Mac mouse only has
Click to Plurk!
Mumble, Twitter, mumble, Facebook, mumble, MySpace, mumble, Jaiku, mumble, Bebo, mumble. Well, now there’s Plurk. Addictive and fun whilst slightly weird. Come plurk with me?
Social Media – Stephen Fry, Biz Stone and Reid Hoffman
What an excellent 80 minutes I spent watching and learning from this conference held last Thursday. It’s the guy behind LinkedIn with the guy behind
Most Christians hate Gays. Fact. So, this is funny. (Source: http://www.youtube.com/)
Hey. You feeling weepy?
Is it the weather? Is everybody currently “under the weather”? It must be the weather. Or maybe it’s some kind of mass drugging that’s going
I see that the awful iPhone technology (especially in Australia where there must be far more iSheep than other parts of the world, f’narr f’narr)
We must stop BBC’s religious propaganda
‘Thought of the Day’ is a 3 minute slot on Radio 4 during its prime time breakfast show. ‘Pause for Thought’ is the equivalent for
NO Sex on TV? What is wrong with these people who scream and shout about sex on TV or in the cinema? (I mean, in
Money money money, in a rich man’s world
Top Man: I’m sorry everybody, the company is forecast to be 15 Million Pounds in the red. Forecasts for next year are gloomy. I need
Why am I getting more and more attracted to bright primary colours? And why does this make me think of wool ready to be knitted
Confused Supermarkets
Having previously reported on the horror of daytime shopping in supermarkets, there is a side issue I need to address. It’s about the confused signals.
The Science of Scams
As a Derren Brown enthusiast, it’s not a surprise for me to say how delightful the Science of Scams website is. As the movement to
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs, eh?
Yes, Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs. They confuse me. Yep, they have a fear. A fear of numbers. Well, a fear of the number 666 to be more precise.
You remember how a team of mystical nutters from madland sold the idea that London really wanted the “Millennium Dome” in order that Christians could
So, the IRA / Sinn Féin were allowed to have a look over the Sellafield nuclear facility at the time when they were happily blowing
I love this guy (and team)’s work. I don’t know how he does it but his videos grab my attention. This one is about trying
Big Brother is the new crack cocaine
So, here we are in a Britain with kids wandering aimlessly around in packs. These bored, restless and feral latchkey kids are going out and
Say it with penis
Erm. Ok, I’m not looking, ok? But what exactly is it that I should be saying with penis? Erm. Oh, yeah. Snort Snort. Chortle Chortle.
Merseyside fire crews were attacked on 7 different occasions as they responded to calls on Bonfire night, with about 30 yobs throwing bricks at them
This is brilliant. Apparently it’s still a work in progress. Erm, like the Web? (Source: http://www.metacafe.com/)
I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with this lady.
Weird Poisoned People
Why are some people weird? It’s usually purely down to the poisons they either unknowingly or knowingly ingest. Years and years ago when people didn’t
Looking at me, Family Guy fans see Peter Griffin. They don’t realise I’m actually Brian trapped in the wrong damn body. Christopher England just sighed
I highlighted a previous video from this guy some months ago. I think this video actually came before the one I previously highlighted, but it’s
What Secret Millionaire, eh?
The Secret Millionaire is a show on TV. The idea is simple. Take one millionaire. Make him/her travel hundreds of kilometres from home. Make him/her
I don’t know whether to be excited or not about the oncoming final part of the Zeitgeist Movie. It’s about the revolution. That’s what we
Why aren’t there any revolutionary pirate radio stations?
Broadcasting radio without a licence can be fun, although of course you shouldn’t try this at home. As long as technically your transmissions are not
I watched some kids t’other day, buying fireworks in one of those shops that normally does other things, then suddenly gets draped with a ‘fireworks
My Trolley Rage
Okay, I’m getting to grips with this shopping lark, but I am suffering from trolley rage. Supermarkets. You get a trolley, walk around the stacks
Hmmm. Got yourself employment have ya? Hah! Not for long. You is doomed. Doomed!
Guillermo Vargas Habacuc – now there’s a name millions across the internet really hate. But why? Well, because somebody has hoaxed them into believing that
The hounding of Chris Moyles
Chris Moyles is now the longest serving breakfast show presenter on BBC Radio 1, and with every additional month he sits in the morning hot
Marry the Ripper? WTF?
Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire Ripper, brutally murdered 13 women over a four year period, horribly mutilating their bodies, and was later diagnosed as a paranoid
Love it. Fight!!
I like my desk untidy. I know where everything is. It doesn’t distract from the way I function. It’s how I function. Somebody else prefers
Ikea …. please, no!
Ikea is a ‘Scandinavian’ self-assembly furniture shop. Well, it’s lots of shops. Huge shops. They are making an absolute fortune for the owners, because somehow
They say this is a graphic representation of the number of users, dates of last posts, and various other stats for an online forum service
When will they be tattooing us? One of the most frightening things happening in the UK is that more and more local authorities are collecting
Man. It’s getting worse, this wall thing. I’m sure these are the souls of my various victims come back to teach me a lesson. Damn
Motivate to Metric
Good to hear that Ireland has removed all the silly imperial road signs spouting stuff like ‘miles per hour’ speed limits and has properly replaced
See, now, one day all walls will look like this, right? A room’s walls should be fun. No?
Please can I flash forward on FlashForward?
Oh man. I’m bloody hooked aren’t I? I can’t stop watching FlashForward (showing on Five in the UK, Mondays at 9pm). Sigh. Annoyingly, the episodes
Cunning Chinese make fat people explode
Whilst the world spends its time staring suspiciously at anybody of an Arabic(ish) origin or appearing to be dressed in an Islamic way (especially carrying
Potatoes. I used to think potatoes were just a white mash inside a skin. Then I discovered that they are actually a complex and living
Do you believe they put a man on the moon?
So, like, 40 years ago man walked on the moon, strolling around looking at things, driving buggies all over it, planting flags, playing golf and
England's England 