Will I listen to Radio Caroline in 2017?

Yes, I’ve expressed excitement about Radio Caroline returning in 2017 before. It is exciting!

I mean, the whole thing of offshore radio was exciting. At one time, like in the 60s and then in the earlier 70s, it was the only place to hear new and different music.

But by the 80s it had slowly morphed into an oldies station. Gone were the new songs and new styles of music. Instead, on high rotation was everything that had been played before. Over and over and over and over again. Jeez. And then the station and the music died.

So, when I became aware that Radio Caroline was coming back, I was initially excited but confused.

The confusion was over the claim that it would be broadcasting not from a boat this time, but from a spaceship! A spaceship!

Yes, I know.

The excitement was that Radio Caroline was finally returning from international, erm, waters. Well, international sky, or atmosphere or something.

Yeah, there’s no way it’s coming from a real spaceship. Well, I think there’s no way it’s coming from a real spaceship. Surely not?

I guess saying it’s coming from a spaceship is no more weird than saying, “From a point at sea to the circles of your mind” which it used to say a lot when it was first infested with hippies. So, ‘circles of a mind’ or ‘spaceship’? Which is more feasible?

You see what I mean now?

Anyway, wherever it comes from, it’s good that it’s coming back in April. I’m hoping to get myself to one of the Hard Rock Cafe pre-launch parties.  You know, just to rub shoulders with actual radio celebs!

However, I am a little disappointed by the format. I’ve listened to the test stream on the Radio Caroline website (here).  Daytimes it will be OLDIES from the 1960s. I hate oldies. Nighttimes it will be OLDIES of the rock genre, probably mainly the 1970s. I hate oldies.

So, sadly, the new Radio Caroline will not be aimed at those who love new and different music. People such as myself. Instead it will be playing the same old shite it once played centuries ago.

Now, yes, I do realise that there are lots of really old radio anoraks that can’t handle new and different music. Something happened to their brains in the 70s/80s to make them get stuck in the past. I think their brains are like a memory card that’s full up or something, not allowing anything else in. There’s no room for anything else. Which is also very sad!

It has always been my dream that if Radio Caroline returned, it would champion the new and different music ignored by most of the other radio stations across the UK. I mean, in the 60s and then the 70s that’s what made Radio Caroline so compelling, the way it championed the new and different. Personally, I think it would make it compelling again if this rebirth steered clear of the old shite. Sadly, it won’t. And that’s why I won’t be able to listen.

Yes, I’ll listen on the day it returns, just because it’s Radio Caroline. But, I can’t see me sticking around after that. I mean, if they have exciting personality DJs, maybe, but I’m guessing Radio Caroline will be dominated by the sad segue of all these awful oldies. They are announcing the on-air line-up in a few weeks, but what if none of the DJs are personalities?  Horror of horrors, that might be the case!

And, that being the case, disappointingly, Radio Caroline will have nothing for me. For that reason, whilst I wish them every success, I’m out.