Crocodiles on the River Thames

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River Thames.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size kids. I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” said the big Crocodile, “what have you been eating?”

“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small Crocodile.

“Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?”

“Down at the car park by the Houses of Parliament.”

“Same here. Hmm…..How do you catch them?”

“Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat ’em!”

“Ah!” says the big Crocodile, “I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there’s nothing left but an arsehole and a briefcase.”