What cunning Chinese is this?

Somebody got somebody else this for Christmas.  Don’t worry, it’s nothing to do with my household, friends or relatives.  This picture is of the Chinese to English description on the box.

It says, TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE, CHINA TREASURE. Chinese medicine veins and arteries therapy. Cure various diseases. Dredge through live blood. Improve the muscle immunity the function. INSIDE DISEASE OUTSIDE REMOVE, RESULT SPECIAL. Gather to puncture, massage, guasha etc. in the integral whole. Remove the inside breeze, cold, wet, hot, poison. HEALTH CARE GIFT, OLD AND LITTLE ALL PROPER. New health care gift. Send the friend. Elegant features. Species assorts. Economy enduring. EGO DIAGNOSIS, HEALTH CARE PREVENTION. Pure physical therapy, Safe and quickly. Clinical application, Detailed contents sees the manual.

So, what’s in the box?