Ok, when it comes to naming a restaurant, calling it ‘Istanbul’ surely indicates that it is themed as a Chinese. Only kidding, I meant Turkish, of course.
The Istanbul is a tiny snug place in Liverpool’s Woolton Village with about 7 or 8 tables making it a rather intimate experience, serving lots of alcohol and semi-traditional Anglo-Turkish meals mainly prepared on the barbeque. I gather it’s a small family run business.
Now then, I gather this because there were un-made-up tables to the back that were not being used by customers on the day we went, but by the family. A young boy was playing on a laptop sitting next to what might have been his grandfather reading a newspaper. A stressed looking mother was mainly with them but spending a lot of her time trying to attend to a young girl who had an alarming way of asserting that she required attention.
At regular intervals the young girl would emit the shrillest and loudest most piercing attention grabbing short scream that a child can deliberately create. This would cut through the relaxed atmosphere making everybody jump and tense up with adrenalin ready to engage in fight or flight. To say it was really really annoying would be an understatement. It was bloody annoying. You’d not know when it was coming, but suddenly there the shriek would be with the force of somebody punching you in the head without any warning.
I’d add a caveat that I feel there may have been some reason why the little girl was doing this. She may have had longer term difficulties. Her weary looking mother was constantly trying to occupy her and keep her from making the shrieks, so I don’t have a problem with her either.
This, however, doesn’t really excuse the parents from having her in their place of business, especially as it was late and long after both children should have been in bed. People like me don’t want to share the children of those running the place. We want a quiet intimate night out and some good food.
So, what about the food. Well, during the day they are more an English cafe and coffee shop, but by the evening they serve a fairly traditional menu of hot Turkish dishes and cold meze. Strangely they show a ‘Specials’ board with just the top three things from the printed menu copied onto it instead of, well, ‘specials’ that are not on the menu.
The food is prepared in full view in the somewhat cramped kitchen area tended to by folk wearing their ordinary clothes, and is probably above average for the price, which is about average. In our experience, however, some of the meat, the lamb, was a little chewy and tasteless, whilst the chicken was lovely. The sauces and other items were perfectly fine, as was the presentation.
The background music was quite loud, probably about right to keep other tables from hearing our conversation, whilst allowing us to hear each other without shouting. It certainly didn’t drown out the shrieks coming from the little girl every 10 minutes or so.
Initially the service was attentive and very efficient, but the waiter became distracted as he was flirting with two very drunk giggling ladies on a different table. Fair enough, part of the flirting’s purpose was to sell them even more alcohol, but it did leave us with nobody asking if we were enjoying our meal or if we wanted a dessert (assuming they actually do desserts – how would we know?), so we gave up and finally grabbed somebody’s attention in order to get the bill.
Ah. They don’t mention anywhere that they don’t have the facilities to allow payment by card. So, from our table and diners at an adjacent table, a well-worn trek had to be made around the block to a cashpoint in order to draw out cash.
I can understand that people who don’t have a wide choice or experience of Turkish restaurants (there really aren’t that many in Liverpool) would think the Istanbul was an unexpected jewel to be found. But, anybody with a bit of experience would confirm that it is very ‘average’, although this is probably about right for the demographics of this South Liverpool ‘village’ location.
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