Christmas shoppers are nutters

Rush rush rush.

It’s Christmas.

Panic Panic Panic.

Are Christmas shoppers raving mad?

Apart from the slightly odd thing that shops are selling stuff for Christmas some months before, there is a fever that hits folk such that they spend each day more and more desperately walking around shops with their eyes wide, fixed and staring, marching shoulder to shoulder with others equally panicked and desperate.


What are they searching for? Are the ice caps about to melt and they are trying to fight against other hopefuls for a chance to stock up with some of the limited supplies for their shelter?

Is it survival of the fittest?

Nope, it’s only bloody Christmas, innit.

The madness of shopping, first for ‘presents’ that people don’t actually want, and then for food that people don’t normally eat, makes it impossible for normal people to enter a shop for the weeks leading up to Christmas Eve.

Those affected by the drug that forces them to go ‘Christmas Shopping’ are exhausted and near a nervous breakdown by Christmas Eve. After all the hustle and bustle is all over, they spend Christmas Day not shopping. Instead they argue and pass judgements on the gifts and food purchased during their Christmas shopping frenzy. The food is either ‘wonderful’ or ‘perfect’ or ‘disappointing’ or even burnt and overdone. Whatever. It is very important that a judgement call is made on it, for that is the purpose of Christmas Day. It can’t just be treated like the non-judged ordinary evening meal on any other day. Likewise, gifts are either ‘just what I wanted’ for real or ‘just what I wanted’ with gritted teeth.

Having survived the horrors of Christmas Day, the next day the sales start. So, what do people do? They rush out and crowd the shops all over again, reaching fever pitch as they look for whatever it might be they are looking for. They usually haven’t a clue what they actually are looking for. Didn’t they learn from the exhaustion of the pre-Christmas marching around shops that almost killed them, that it might be time to kick the habit? It’s not normal.

Finally, the bit I’ve never understood. Where do they put everything? The excess food they panic purchased before Christmas Day. Where is it? Unless a small starving nation is coming round for Christmas dinner, it doesn’t actually get consumed.

Will Christmas shoppers ever learn?