The Offshore Pirate Radio Ship Challenge

The phrase “put your money where your mouth is” is often sneered at people who have made pronouncements about something.  After careful consideration I’ve decided to do just that.  The reason I’m doing this is because I don’t want the lack of initial funding to put people off.

You see, there are people out there who believe that they can re-launch an offshore pirate radio station and make a go of it. Some have openly dreamed that such a radio station would rock the radio world, making a huge difference, and scaring the pants off the multi-million pound empires that run commercial radio in the UK.

Me?  Well, I don’t believe that anybody would even notice a pirate radio ship in the 2010s.  I don’t think it would be viable in any way.  But, I am willing to put my money, and a couple of other people’s money, into a project to set-up and relaunch a successful offshore pirate radio station.  Your project.

I can command funding up to a ceiling of £2Million.  Yep, £2Million.  My sources tell me this should be tight, but enough to locate, purchase, refit, crew and sail a radioship into the North Sea, switch on and cover the initial running costs.

Here’s the catch.  Apart from conditionally* providing the funding, what I’m looking for is a proper and plausible business plan which shows this offshore pirate radio ship producing a viable income such that, outside of the initial capitalisation, all running costs are met within an agreed time frame.  Ideally a small but detectable profit should eventually be realised too.

Simple!

There you have it.  If you think you can organise and run an offshore pirate radio station in the 2010s, initial funding is no longer an excuse.  It’s waiting for you.  Make yourself known, show my people the business plan in commercial confidence, and let’s do it.

Offshore pirate radio has never had such an offer before. There are plenty of people out there shouting and screaming about how it’s time for a brand new offshore pirate radio station.  Don’t let the lack of funding be the excuse for not getting out of your armchair.  The offer’s not going to be on the table for long.  

The clock is ticking….!

Please note that from this point forward nothing further will be said in public about the progress of this project until launch is imminent, which won’t be overnight of course.  This means there will be no leaks, hints, teases or other information being fed to anoraks whatsoever.  So, if you hear anything from them about it, they are lying, speculating or being stupidly mischievous, and you might feel like punching them. (Please note that punching stupid radio anoraks is probably against some law or other, so don’t do it.)

Finally, if Ofcom is reading this, nobody saw me do it, it wasn’t me, I was nowhere near the radioship, you can’t prove anything, I have completely plausible deniability, honest officer.

(*This offer is obviously subject to a number of strict pre-conditions, conditions and subject to me or nominated persons/companies holding certain media rights, all of which is a bit too boring to mention here, and of no concern to a general audience, yet worth pointing out just in case somebody is stupid enough to think that this is all about a chancer coming forward and conning money into a crumpled brown envelope handed over just like that after nervously looking left and right. This business proposition doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid.  The reality will be very heavy with liabilities and consequences. The offer will expire within 3 months of being made, should no advice of intent be received.)