Scousegulls

They are mistakenly called Seagulls, but they are just Gulls, and they are putting on a show of wonderment.

If you want to spend an hour or so watching a show that’s exciting, fun, and intriguing, then you need to head to one of Liverpool‘s KFC carparks.

Let me explain.  It’s not a dogging invitation, honest.  There’s a drive-thru McDonald’s next to a drive-thru KFC not far from the River Mersey in the centre of Liverpool. The KFC is used a little less than the McDonald’s, so it has quite an empty car park.  Also, its large waste bins around the carpark are largely left for hours and hours before being emptied.

It is also true to say that most people consuming KFC or McDonald’s products in their cars are incapable of actually leaving their cars, and so throw their waste out of the car windows onto the ground below and drive off without a second thought.  It’s men who do this the most, and girls who actually walk the metre distance between their car and the nearest bin.

So, with overflowing bins and the ‘discard where you are’ mentality, the carpark is always a fest of litter over which you have to crunchingly walk or drive.

Watching from great heights are the local gulls.  They tend to be perched atop nearby buildings and streetlights.  Watching.  Mainly they go unnoticed by the humans mulching the carpark into a paper and packaging montage.

Then every now and again they strike.

These are the large gulls.  Not the smaller ones with the heads that look like they’re wearing crash helmets.  Nor am I talking about the pigeon hangers on.  I am talking about the huge gulls.  The ones that are bigger than a small dog.

These gulls appear to have an intelligence that the other birds don’t have.

These gulls know that people tend to leave a few fries inside the screwed up waste bags when they discard them.  These gulls like to eat fries.

To that end, they’ll swoop down from their perches, and they will systematically, efficiently, and very speedily, stand on the the lid of a bin in order that it rolls open, if the bin is not already open from an overflowing amount of waste.  They will peck as many of the screwed up bags as they can from the bin, making a mess on the ground.  They they will systematically go through each bag, grabbing it and shaking it until the contents slide out.  If a fries container can be found, they will then grab it and shake it until the remaining straggler fries fall out.  It will then grab one to eat as it flies away.  Other gulls will then swarm down to attempt to grab the rest.

And, man they move fast.  Faster than a bunch of hoodies steaming through a shop stealing as much as they can.

They keep repeating this process until they’ve exhausted the packaging and waste bins, and disappear back up to their look-out positions.  And wait. And watch.