Only morons watched the Eurovision Song Contest

My life doesn’t include the Eurovision Song Contest.  It hasn’t done for about 20 to 25 years.

I have no interest in it whatsoever, it has no relevance to me and my life and my interests.

However, a bit like football, which I also have absolutely no interest in, it is a damn hard thing to get away from.  People keep talking about it.

I also don’t watch any soaps, so show me a picture of any of the actors and I’d not have a clue who they are or which soap they are from.

That’s how disconnected I am from all that kinda stuff.

However, something happened a bit like those awkward moments when a Scouser asks which [football] team I support, my honest answer of ‘None’ can’t register on their radar, so I have to be punched in the face.  I mean, you must support a football team surely?  Nope, not me.

Well, I was asked about the Eurovision Song Contest.  I politely answered saying I’d not watched it.  I was asked why not, had I been working?  Nope, not interested.  Usually this just suffices and they wander off muttering “Gay” under their breath.

Not this particular questioner, who just happened to have been involved in aspects of the British presentation of Eurovision. Instead, I was pinned to the corner of the room with a demand that I explain myself as if I was guilty of insulting their mother, wife, and child.

Nobody has made me have to articulate why before, so I thought about it for a bit before explaining that the Song Contest wasn’t relevant to my culture, my interests and my tastes.

Yes, there are younger people from some of the countries, but the UK puts up only the old people like 77 year old Englebert Humperdink or 61 year old Bonnie Tyler.  These are people who may just about be relevant to the old people who listen to Radio 2, but people under 40 have never heard of them.  Well, never heard of unless their parents kept playing the annoying Power Ballard CDs when they were growing up.

So, where once the song contest was about current pop music, and had the current sounds and artists on stage that young people could identify with, the contest is now aimed at old people. Back in the olden days credible current acts were winning on our behalf. These days the old crooners are being wheeled out in order to promote random tracks off their latest albums. Exhibit A – Bonnie Tyler.  How is her music relevant to me or to anybody under the age of 50? Be honest. It really isn’t, is it?

I accept that the population is now skewed such that it has far too many old people listening to old people’s music, and that tends to dominate ‘things’, and is why a lot of old people did bother watching the Eurovision Song Contest, and the viewing figures were ‘fair’ at an average of 7.7 million within the UK.  All a long way off from the figures of the early decades, however.

In more recent times of course, with the political undertones of the point allocations, and the fact that everybody hates the United Kingdom for being America’s biatch when it comes to global bullying, swathes of new Eastern European countries and countries nothing to do with Europe but somehow becoming part of the contest, have the power to keep the UK from ever winning again.

The Irish had the right idea when they had Dustin the puppet turkey representing them some years ago.  Treat the joke of the contest as a joke, fine, or put some of our proper pop acts through.   Then I and millions of others might be interested.