In a previous article, or, ok, maybe two (here and here), I declared my love of Steve and Suzy, the Sunday morning duo on internet radio station Big L.
I am looking for something from my ‘radio’ that I just can’t get from an iPod. I also don’t believe that ‘radio’ is about playing the same old tried and tested songs and announcing what they are called. The value to me is measured in the bits that go on inbetween or instead of the songs. These are the bits that can distinguish ‘music-radio’ from ‘music-burble’.
However, this doesn’t seem to be shared by the evil miscreant (does he have a thick waxed handlebar moustache I wonder?) that is the ‘2ZY‘ (pantomime booooo!). This ‘2ZY‘ bounder has a habit of listening to radio shows, writing down the content in a subjective snivelling derisory way, and passing judgement based on his rather odd and old fashioned values about what constitutes a radio show’s content. Values that probably date back to 1922.
I have only just discovered this horrendous review of the absolutely wonderful Steve and Suzy here. (Ensure you have up to date anger management certification before clicking on that link!)
So, I have no other option but to declare war on this no mark. ‘2ZY‘, sir, we are at war.
Whoever ‘2ZY‘ is, he should not be reviewing radio shows that offer more than the tired cold and objectionable content of playing three or four safe songs in a row and making railway station type announcements in blocks. Boring, tired, old fashioned radio is obviously what he loves. And this is why we are now at war, facing pistols at dawn.
Expecting a lover and devotee of X Factor to review a precise and very exacting opera is so very wrong. Expecting ‘2ZY‘ to review talking biased music radio is wrong for all the same reasons. Pah! It’s outside of ‘2ZY‘s format remit.
‘2ZY‘ stole borrowed the name from the call letters of a Manchester based radio station that operated back in 1922. Yep, there’s stuck in the past and there’s stuck in the past! It drives me mad that there’s no originality and the internet is full of idiots using the names of famous offshore radio stations for their bedroom streams that nobody listens to. Now I find this ‘2ZY‘ is nothing whatsoever to do with the original ‘2ZY‘ either. He probably hasn’t even got a waxed handlebar moustache, the cad. Double Pah and Thrice Pah!
Can you imagine ‘2ZY‘ being let loose to review early Kenny Everett or Emperor Rosko broadcasts when they were breaking boundaries and making the bits inbetween the songs more compelling?
‘2ZY‘ would be there saying “It’s just not right. All the stupid juvenile humour and silly voices. Don’t like it. Proper radio doesn’t do that.”
Or
“I bet that awful man’s not even an Emperor. Why’s he shouting? Radio presenters aren’t allowed to shout. He’s made my head ache. Tell him to be quiet.”
Indeed, had ‘2ZY‘ been in charge of radio stations daring to play jingles at times other than after 57 commercials in a row, he would have sacked the presenters. He’d have had a heart attack when he heard the first wind-up phone call, or somebody daring to interact with a record rather than keep it at arms length as if it stinks or is covered in dog pooh.
Sadly, the radio industry, despite its ever increasing contraction into oblivion is still full of ‘2ZY‘s with all their unadventurous hive-thinking. Radio must be taken seriously, they chant, it is not the place for fun or experimentation. Most importantly, radio mustn’t actually do anything that might make the listeners listen rather than just have it on in the background.
The latest RAJAR audience research figures prove once again that what goes on inbetween the songs is what keeps people listening, and why the boring commercial music radio format obviously favoured by ‘2ZY‘ is being listened to less and less.
The radio war via RAJAR was so easily won by the BBC because it provides the value added programming the commercial sector just refuses to, and this is why I will win in my war with this ‘2ZY‘ upstart.
England's England 