Smokers are evil

As a good Muslim boy I don’t smoke. (Humour Alert!  I’m not Muslim.)

Actually, proper Christians shouldn’t smoke either.  (I’m not Christian either.)

Apart from the extensive and intrusive rules about sex, the Middle Eastern religion viruses (Islam/Christianity) are quite strict on smoking.  Well, none of the ‘books’ directly says, “Thou shalt not ‘ave a fag!” but it is taken as read that thou shalt not.

Regardless of this ‘instruction’, so many people do smoke.  Indeed, most smokers have a religion that tells them not to.  Also, far more smoke in the North than I noticed smoking when I lived in London.

The very first time a person smokes, they cough and splutter and retch from feeling sick.  That is the correct reaction to filling lungs with toxic chemicals.  However, wanting to be sick and to make it stop is something peer pressure forces a new smoker to overcome. Soon the smoker is regularly coughing and spluttering but forcing themselves to not give up.

I’ve never been a smoker, so I’m not a ‘reformed smoker’ on a mission to damn all those still smoking.

Also, I do believe there should be areas set aside for smokers.  I’ve seen the little bus shelter type structures go up in places, and compassionately thought that having a ‘smoking room’ for them would be more humane than forcing them outside into the cold.

Having said that, I detest smokers.

Smokers are a terrible breed and extremely selfish.  You can spot them easily.  Even though their employers have gone through the expense of providing a smoking shelter, they will usually prefer to hang around doorways, and usually right under ‘No Smoking’ notices, rather than walk an extra 2 or 3 meters to the designated smoking area.

They think it is their right to stop working for ten minutes twice an hour in order to pop out for their drug, and they expect the normal workers to cover for them by answering their phone or taking on some of their workload whilst they are off skiving.

Nearly always, their selfishness is such that they don’t care that they smell disgusting to normal people.  They are oblivious to the awful stench radiating from their clothes, and have absolutely no awareness of how overpoweringly bad their breath is.

The most annoying aspect of their selfishness is their lack of hygiene and cleanliness.  They think nothing of flicking their ash everywhere and littering cigarette butts wherever they stand. Why are they so disgusting?

Which came first their selfishness, lack of common courtesy and disregard for others, or their addiction to nicotine?

As people, most smokers are not particularly nice characters.  Again, I don’t know if this is how they are and who they are before they start the drug or because they’ve started it.  Whichever it is, the result is certainly not nice.

In life I’ve come to realise that smokers are the people you just can’t trust.  They lie without a second thought, and again are very usually selfish in all their motivations.  To my cost I’ve discovered that smokers make terrible boyfriends or girlfriends. And, definitely definitely definitely you should never ever marry a smoker!  Trust me on this.

The good news is that 50% of smokers die from a smoking related disease or illness.  Watching them wheeze their last breath makes up for the stench and mess they leave everywhere. It is a justified repayment for forcing normals to have to hold their breath to avoid choking on smokers’ emissions as we enter buildings.

The bad news is that their self inflicted abuse costs us normals a fortune in subsidising their healthcare. However, there are less and less of them.  Not because they are dying, although the more the merrier of course, but because less are taking up smoking in the first place.  It is slowly becoming an unacceptable thing to do.

Soon we will be free from smokers, and not because they’ll all be dead, but because they won’t be starting in the first place.