Honest Sex

I’ve long been sympathetic to people who are into strange and unusual sexual practices like swinging.

I don’t know this woman, honest

I’m not a swinger, honest. That’s mainly because I’m a bit of a private person and I suppose in that respect a little shy, if I’m honest. (I’m very self conscious about my willy. Well, you’d be if you had one that big! F’narr. But seriously, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it – swinging I mean, not my willy – it’s just one of those private things, innit, and not for me.)

Anyway, I couldn’t personally go to the parties or even turn up for a bit of outdoor ‘dogging’. Well, maybe I could turn up to watch, but I don’t think I could get my kit off whilst other people watched me. But, like I said, it’s very fine for others, and I think it’s a good thing.

What I like about the swinging parties or the dogging is that it’s honest. I mean, they do all this shagging each other business and they don’t need silly excuses. Compare and contrast this to office ‘drinkies’, typically at Christmas.

Now, a lot of companies full of the binge-drinking coke-head types will go out and get off their faces together. This will result in sex. Usually the actual sex they won’t remember, but a couple of ‘em will wake up together and realise that the act has taken place. They will blame the booze and embroil themselves in office politics and gossip as the people who shagged each other this time were shagging other folk last time. Oh, and it’s got to be hidden from husbands or wives of course.

There’s a whole load of excuses excuses excuses when the night out ends up with random coupling for sex. Loads of guilt, talking about it, wondering what to do, bla bla bla, and it’s all so very dishonest and seedy. They all knew it would happen, but they had to hide behind being off their faces as the excuse to make it happen.

Not so for the real swingers and doggers. They just say up front that tonight they are going to find a random partner to shag, husbands know wives are doing it, wives know husbands are doing it, it’s all honest and there’s no need to get completely drunk or high in order to do it.

So, like I say. It’s honest. That’s a far better thing than the office night out game of pretence, in my opinion. It should be encouraged.