What’s this? “ASDA Greeters”, NOOOOOO! What mad person from mad land decided to spend money on some annoying hag hanging around the entrance to the store with a microphone plugged in to the public address system? Surely the money could have been saved and my shopping bill reduced? Look, I just wanna get round the store, quietly select my stuff and get out. But no, instead I am forced to listen to this annoying woman blotting my thoughts by constantly reminding me that she’s there, how wonderful the offers are, and the actual name and location of the branch of ASDA I’m in (just in case I’d forgotten). ASDA Greeters – SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Christopher England just announced that!