Them: You sound muffled.
Me: Muffled?
Them: Yeah! Really quiet and like you are talking from behind a blanket.
Me: I’m just talking normally as I always do.
Them: You’re stalking Norman and you’re in the loo?
Me: No, I’m… Let me call you back in a while.
Them: You’ve a bat on the Nile? What are you talking about, man?
Me: CALL … YOU … LATER!
Them: Congratulate her? Congratulate who?
Me: {click}
[Time passes]
Them: Hello.
Me: Can you hear me ok now?
Them: Yes, fine, brilliant. What on earth was wrong before?
Me: Would you believe it? I just poked around at the microphone socket of this trusty mobile and pulled out a whole load of belly-button fluff!
Them: Mobiles with their own belly button fluff. Fantastic.
Me: Why, like ours, is it always blue? I think we should be told!