Okay, I’m getting to grips with this shopping lark, but I am suffering from trolley rage. Supermarkets. You get a trolley, walk around the stacks of food containers that have inside them the product of your desire.
You then queue up at a check-out behind some stupid fool who has a trolley full of items that won’t scan properly, and despite the ringing of the bell twice by the check-out girlie the supervisor is nowhere to be seen. When all purchases have been finally rung-up it is then, and only then, that the fool starts to slowly search through he bags for her purse, which of course is nowhere to be found.
Eventually they find something and pay, trying to slowly count out the exact change which they haven’t actually got. They only realise they haven’t got it when they finish counting out the pennies and other loose change for the third time.
It is then and only then that they slowly start to pack away their purchases into bags, despite the fact that they are obviously in your way and should have damn well started packing as soon as each item had been scanned. They are now seriously in your way. You lean over them or try to squeeze past them to save your purchases from stacking uncontrollably over theirs, but they don’t budge from their preoccupation with putting foods into sub-bags within their main bags.
Frustrated, you try to boil their brain with powerful rays from your eyes, but they are far too stupid to pick-up on your displeasure. It is only then that you suddenly realise this is the same moron that trapped you for 15 minutes by the bread counter, by having their trolley straddled completely across the aisle at right angles so that nobody could get passed, whilst they stood staring blankly at the choice of loaves available. More than one loaf being available obviously overloads their tiny brains forcing them to stand motionless for hours at a time trying to re-boot into decision mode.
Anyway, you remember their face from the accusing scowl they gave you when you’d tried to do something about the log-jam of trolleys stuck behind her by saying, “Excuse me please?”
So, you can deal with all that by deliberately visiting supermarkets late at night. This is a time for efficient well-oiled shoppers who know how to get in, get what they want, and get out. The fool never shops at night, so you are safe. Night is the time when the fool has spent 20 minutes working out where their bedroom is, and how to get into bed, following their brain saying, “Oh. It is dark outside. It must be time for bed.” Sigh. These people are allowed to vote and reproduce? Meanwhile, they just leave me with trolley rage and a need to scream in their faces.
England's England 