Jan, Sue and Mary haven’t seen each other since secondary school. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch at a wine bar.
Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace number. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
Sue arrives shortly afterwards, in grey Chanel. After the mandatory & ritualised kisses, she joins Jan in a glass of wine Pinot.
Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Cambridge University in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London’s leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft penthouse overlooking the Thames and Susan, the daughter, attends RADA. They have a second home in the Loire Valley.
Sue relates that she too graduated from Cambridge after studying Medicine and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading investment banker in the City. They live in Chelsea and have a second home in Barbados.
Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird sanctuary in Devon and grow their own vegetables. She proudly announces that Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at B&Q. They live in a small apartment in Luton and have a two-berth caravan parked at a nearby farm.
Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend’s honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses’ aides in a retirement home. They live in Stratford and take holiday camping trips to Skegness.
Mary then admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg!
England's England 