This is Part 4 of the story of Jack and Nate. Please start with Part 1 of the story, here, or it won’t make sense.
Month: December 2012
Jack and Nate, part 3
This is Part 3 of the story of Jack and Nate. Please start with Part 1 of the story, here, or it won’t make sense.
Jack and Nate, part 2
This is Part 2 of the story of Jack and Nate. Please start with Part 1 of this story, here or it won’t make sense. After
Jack and Nate, part 1
This story is important. It is fairly long, which is why I have been forced to split it over several posts. It needs to be
My Christmas tree fear
Phew! Christmas is over for another year, and my eyes can stop watering. Now, you know people have phobias? Some people run screaming and wet
The Domestic Violence of Christmas time
A repeat article from a previous Christmas to help us pause for thought: Having ingested four times more than a single human’s portion of food
Merry Christmas
Ho ho ho. Even as Father Christmas, Christopher England likes to mess about with the world. Will he ever learn? Not to worry. Have a
Faaaa!
Well, Christmas Eve is the last day that Father Christmas is available to be visited by the boys and girls of the world. Christmas Eve
Father!
Aha. Today all the mastic and the 10 minutes of carefully putting my Father Christmas beard on and making sure it is properly glued on
What they said about Christopher England #2
In my last article I mentioned that a spontaneous collection of pronouncements about Christopher England recently appeared on a message board infested by old radio anoraks.
What they said about Christopher England #1
A few weeks ago I had to work on location. I had limited internet access via very expensive satellites, plus it was essential to not
Father Chris!
A pattern emerged at the beginning of the month. Very young children and babies would come to visit Father Christmas before about 3pm, and definitely in the
Father Christmas!
Disaster! My Elf has gone sick. She was spluttering a bit yesterday and seemed less than her usual, er, elf, and so today is staying
Father Christmas Do!
Spending all day in a grotto dressed as Father Christmas is having its toll. It was only a few weeks before this that I was
Meat is Yummy
It may surprise my good regular readers to discover that I am vegan. Ok, I’m not vegan. Neither am I vegetarian. I am a healthy
The Sandy Hook slaughter of children
All this week I have been dressed as Father Christmas. I’ve been seeing a stream of mainly excited and over-excited young children. They are all
No cat toys for Christmas
I’m sure I’ve spent hundreds of Pounds on cat toys. I’m sure the cats are taking the piss out of me. Not that I’m paranoid
Where’s WALL-E?
Remember the film about the little robot, WALL-E? Remember the fun books Where’s Wally? Well, how about trying to find WALL-E? He’s somewhere in this
Going to a Carol Service
It’s weird being an outsider, y’know. But, I went to a Carol Service, ‘cos it was Christmas, innit. Ok, let’s examine this: I didn’t go
The Price of Pete
So, there’s this local celebrity called Pete Price. His main exposure to the people of Liverpool is via a week-night late-night 4 hour phone-in via
But … where am I?
Where am I? I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in
Sir Patrick Moore
Sadly, as one gets older, people who have been there forever die. Nothing prepares one for this. It just starts happening. Then it speeds up becoming more
Fifty sheds of Grey
The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women and baffled blokes. Now, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book
Father Christmas Do Not!
I’m still Father Christmas sitting in a grotto. Yes I am! Four kids came in together today. I don’t think they were brothers and sisters.
Father Christmas Do Not Touch!
A ‘grandfather’ was wheeled into my grotto. Wheelchair bound, he was accompanied by about 10 others. There were different generations all gathered together, most making
Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me!
There are only a few different types of parents or grandparents. And, it’s mainly grandparents that are the awful pushy ones. Parents maybe less so.
Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me Ho!
As a Liverpudlian Father Christmas, I’m starting to notice that every child has one of a small selection of names. Why is nearly every boy
Awful old records on Radio 1
It started as one an hour. Within a week it became two an hour. That’s two too many. I’m talking about the invasion of old
Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me Ho Ho!
Suited and booted, bearded and wigged, I am now Father Christmas. A grotto had been found for me, and day one was to consist of
Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me Ho Ho Ho!
How hard can it be dressing up as Father Christmas and working in a Grotto? It must be dead easy, right? Sigh. The first thing
Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me Ho Ho Ho Ho!
I think telling kids that Father Christmas exists is child abuse. Period. I believe it is cruel. I believe it should be outlawed and any
England's England 