The first thing to know is that two specific kinds of person vote Labour. Firstly, there are the thickos. Usually these people have a very low IQ and either don’t work or work for something pointless in the Public Sector or the Arts. They vote Labour because that’s what they’ve been told that the thick ‘working class’ (as they used to be labelled) do. They don’t question this, other than to occasionally swap their vote to the British National Party “on account of all the immigrants of the day who are stealing jobs and should go back where they came from”, a point they are confused is never made by their core party, Labour.
This allegiance to completely radically different parties is because they are, as I previously described, thickos.
The second group of Labour voters are the champagne and millionaire socialists or new-rich. These are the people who have suddenly had wealth thrust upon them by suddenly being successful on the telly. Some of them are extremely wealthy businessmen who have been in the right place at the right time in order to use the capitalist system (that’s the one usually favoured by the Conservative party) to make far more money out of the working class than is anything but obscene. Guilt drives them to pretend they are of the Labour philosophy, despite having bled the ‘working-class’ dry to accumulate their wealth.
Others in this group are not so wealthy, but were taught at University that if they wanted to be ‘right-on’ they would have to vote Labour instead of the traditional Conservative voting of their family and those who paid for their privileged education.
We then had over a decade of Labour in control, using obscure powers against the ‘working-classes’, telling lies in order to go off bombing random countries full of oil, and generally behaving in a mad way, whilst spending all the money, selling all the silverware and using cash just like the rich kids do at University to get very drunk and very high and very annoying.
There are, it has to be said, a fair few Labour supporters who thought this was wrong. So, they looked for somebody else to vote for and follow. They discovered that whilst the Conservative party still represented those with breeding and traditional values, it had also modernised itself to be anything but into the self-centred ‘living off the backs of the workers’ philosophies of the millionaire socialists themselves.
Finding they didn’t fit within the modern compassionate Conservatives, the non-thicko Labour supporters, those with a slight conscience over what was happening, switched to the Liberal Democrats.
This had a number of great advantages over Labour. Firstly it wasn’t Labour, which appeared to be full of axe murderers and incompetents. Secondly, the Liberal Democratic party could actually say and promise anything it liked as it would never ever ever be involved in actually running the country. This was why it was able to encompass within it all forms of wacko philosophies and completely impractical ideology, whilst also incorporating the best of traditional pre-warmongering Labour. It was a perfect solution. The only people who didn’t defect to the Liberal Democrats were those rich Labour supporters waiting to be fast-tracked into the peerage or House of Lords for a bit of ego-tripping.
Then the unthinkable happened. The Conservatives needed a coalition with the Liberal Democrats in order to govern the country that was on the brink of ruin from Labour messing about with it for too long. Suddenly the previously unelectable home of whack jobs, the Liberal Democrats, was partially in power.
Excitedly, all the disaffected Labour supporters who had been proudly wearing their new Liberal Democrat badges waited for all their magical dreams to come true. Sadly for them, the Liberal Democrats had to actually apply themselves to clearing up the mess from the Labour party’s party of excesses. This meant they couldn’t really do much from their manifesto that would have pleased all the left-field wack jobs, because clearing up after Labour became a priority, as well as trying to pay off the maxed out credit cards that had paid for the mess.
The longer the Liberal Democrats were in power the more disgruntled the supporters that were ex-Labour voters became. Why weren’t they carrying on the traditions of the rich-socialists and partying? Instead they were clearing things up, putting all the bottles in the bin and vacuuming the carpet. How boring this was for the champagne socialists who were hoping for much more Labour style fun, but without all the wars.
Dissent and groaning started. Most were getting reality checks and saying to themselves, “Why oh why did I desert the party of fun and partying, my dear Labour party, for these nasty grown-ups who aren’t fun any more and are being all serious and stuff”. Hence why there was then a massive defection away from flirting with the Liberal Democrats and a return to Labour during the elections held a year after the coaltion started its joint running of the country.
It didn’t seem to matter to the champagne socialists that at least some of the Liberal Democratic manifesto had been enacted, compared to absolutely none of it had they not been part of power sharing arrangements, but the reality check of those at the top of the party needing to behave responsibly just doesn’t fit with the minds of those selfish rich socialists who are all take take take and have no real interest in what might be best for the whole country, including the working-classes, as a collective. They hate the idea of ‘common good’. That’s how they became so wealthy after all. That’s why they stamped their feet and went back to voting Labour, and why the Liberal Democratic vote ‘collapsed’ at the last local elections.
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