England's England

2010

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March 11
February 28
January 31

2009

December 31
November 30
October 31
September 30
August 30
July 20
June
May
April 1
March 2
February 2
January 12

2008

December 3
November 19
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January
Click for Gmail Videochat
Nov 19th
“Now that the ‘Earth Liberation Front’, or whatever their...”
— Christopher
Nov 17th
I’m a great admirer of http://www.atheistcampaign.org...
Nov 16th
“So, this car drives in a built-up area of Oldham at speeds...”
— Christopher
Nov 15th
Well, I blame Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Back in...
Nov 14th
“So everybody’s shouting and moaning about Louis Walsh...”
— Christopher
Nov 13th
Watch Watch
I can’t stop playing the album this is from, and especially this one track, and now I hear...
Nov 12th
Ok, my take on Quantum Of Solace and how the film producers...
Nov 12th

Moaning old farts

Is this country top-heavy with moaning old farts? I think so. No wonder the younger generation...
Nov 11th
“Now that the ‘Earth Liberation Front’ or whatever their name...”
— Christopher
Nov 10th
Yum. This film should annoy the more pedantic of the...
Nov 9th

The paranoid ones

As Christopher England I have made quite a number of enemies over the years. Usually, these...
Nov 8th

Can you hear me, mother?

Them: You sound muffled.
Me: Muffled?
Them: Yeah! Really quiet and like you are talking from behind a blanket.
Me: I'm just talking normally as I always do.
Them: You're stalking Norman and you're in the loo?
Me: No, I'm... Let me call you back in a while.
Them: You've a bat on the Nile? What are you talking about, man?
Me: CALL ... YOU ... LATER!
Them: Congratulate her? Congratulate who?
Me: {click}
[Time passes]
Them: Hello.
Me: Can you hear me ok now?
Them: Yes, fine, brilliant. What on earth was wrong before?
Me: Would you believe it? I just poked around at the microphone socket of this trusty N95 and pulled out a whole load of belly-button fluff!
Them: Mobiles with their own belly button fluff. Fantastic.
Me: There's something I don't get. Human. Mobile. Whichever. Why is belly-button fluff always blue?
Nov 6th
Click for the Gadget Show Competition
Nov 5th
“Barak Obama attends a Christian church. He does this...”
— Christopher
Nov 4th

Scene: A well-known West End department...

Me: Hi. I've a few things I'm after. Firstly, I'd like to buy a watch
Shop assistant: Analogue?
Me: No, just a watch. I'd also like a goldfish
Shop assistant: Do you want an aquarium?
Me: To be honest, I don't care what star sign it is. Also can somebody sell me a kettle?
Shop assistant: Kenwood.
Me: Ok, I'll wait for him to serve me then.
Nov 3rd
Watch Watch
Tim Shaw has rapidly become my hero in recent years. In fact, anybody who defends the right to push...
Nov 3rd

The Wussel Bwand and Jonathan Woss saga.

Come on now. This is all some huge joke, right? Now the Controller of Radio 2 has fallen on her...
Nov 2nd
“I moved here to tumblr.com on 1st November 2008 as I thought...”
— Christopher
Nov 1st