In all the articles I write, I never ever use the given name of those who have done a serious wrong. Instead I name the victims. This article is about the plight of Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus. Those are the girls who were all taken and held for about a decade inside the ‘dungeon’ of their captor’s house in Cleveland, Ohio.
At the time of writing, the fine details are sketchy and subject to a lot of rumour and speculation.
However, it does appear that the guy kept them in different rooms, chained or tied up, and systematically used them as punch bags and sex objects as and when he pleased. Some of the details are quite horrendous. In fact, more than horrendous. They are beyond what anybody can imagine.
Heck, ten hours bound and raped and tortured by a maniac would be awful. Ten weeks would seem like a living death. Ten months would be beyond normal comprehension, let alone ten years. How these poor girls will ever recover from that, I have no idea. I would imagine that they are scarred for life. Some of them physically as well as mentally.
Now then. I was in a cafe eavesdropping on a conversation between three or four ‘men’. To my amazement they were talking in slightly hushed excited tones about how cool it would be to have a girl captive in their cellar, whilst they were mulling over the details of the three girls as depicted in the tabloid newspaper they were passing around.
Somehow, the absolute living terror those girls had faced meant nothing to them. Instead it would be ‘cool’ to have a girl chained up in the cellar.
Actually, there’s an elephant in the room here.
There’s a sad truth that makes men not think of the reality, because of the power of the fantasy. Men won’t admit it out loud, but the idea of having sex slaves chained up in the cellar is extremely appealing and a sex fantasy for almost all males.
Yep, despite being frightened to admit it out too loudly, ‘submissive females’ are a recurring male fantasy. Indeed, a considerable amount of porn depicts sex slaves tied up in dungeons and being subjected to spanking or somewhat more aggressive sexual contact.
Watching this kind of porn turns men on. It demonstrates a living fantasy that they have. Instead of their ‘vanilla’ girlfriend or wife, they want this nymphomaniac on a leash waiting for them in the cellar.
Sadly, the fantasy trivialises the horror of what these three girls have just had to live through. What has happened to them shouldn’t be taken lightly. And yet, there are men, those men in the cafe, and maybe men reading this right now, who find themselves turned on by the story of the three girls.
However, what happened is not in any way what happens in the Bondage-Domination-Sadism-Masochism (BDSM) ‘scene’. Those men getting turned on by the fantasy, yet never having read-up on, or been a part of the BDSM scene, are missing one vitally and critically important aspect of the difference between being ‘kidnapped’ and ‘held captive’ as part of ‘a scene’, and what happened to those poor girls.
It’s called ‘Informed consent‘.
The BDSM scene tends to be bound by rules. Sometimes those rules do seem a bit odd to people like me, but the one crucial rule that makes sense to me is the ‘informed consent‘ bit.
In the case of a girl being captured and held in a dungeon, then it can and should only be done as part of a BDSM sexual encounter with the ‘informed consent‘ of the ‘victim’.
That sounds odd, but the whole encounter has to have been agreed to beforehand. There may be rules about what must not happen during the encounter, as in, the ‘limits’ of the victim have to be respected. These will have been agreed and established before the ‘scene’ commenced.
You’ve probably heard all about ‘safe words‘ and so on which are used to distinguish a ‘YOU REALLY MUST STOP’ from the ‘in character’ cries of ‘no’ and resistance to what is being ‘forced’ upon the victim within the confines of her original consent.
A girl held ‘captive’ in a cellar, having given ‘informed consent‘, whilst being scared (in usually a very horny way) about what might happen next, or being turned on by pain which she turns into pleasure, is a billion miles away from a girl who has really been taken and is really being held captive in a cellar.
Probably what men enjoying the fantasy of having a girl in their cellar won’t cope with is knowing the ‘victim’ is actually the one in control because she has given ‘informed consent‘.
Yep, that’s not as exciting as the fantasy of really capturing a girl, is it?
The trouble with this is that so much sub-dom porn films depict a man overpowering a girl, who tries to resist him until she slowly has succumbed to his sexual prowess and not only stops resisting but also actively enjoys what he is doing to her.
However, the trouble with that fantasy is that it never happens like that. It’s just a fantasy in the minds of men who so want it to be real. Hence why they have a disconnect with the actual horror the Cleveland girls faced.
When the girls were taken in Cleveland and subjected to rape and assault, there wasn’t a point at which they started to enjoy it. There was never a point when ‘limits’ were agreed and safe words established. Nothing about what was happening had their consent. Nothing about it was a turn on or exciting for them.
Frighteningly, those men being turned on by the thought of these three girls being held, used and abused are missing the point that it is wrong.
However, many cultures and religions, including the stricter versions of Islam, effectively treat young girls this way. They ‘hide’ them within the family until they can ‘sell’ them to a random man for a ‘dowry’. Without giving any informed consent, the girl becomes a slave wife, having to obey her enforced husband’s every whim, whether that’s to administer beatings or demand sexual relief. In most of these cultures, girls can be ‘married’ off at the age 12 or 13, and nobody sees this as being wrong.
In so many ways, the difference for them and what happened to the three kidnapped girls in Cleveland is tiny. It’s a slightly different route to the same outcome, where woman is the unconditional sex slave of man.
Hey, that might turn men on, but it is wrong. Very wrong. If we as a species are to mature and progress, then we have to encourage informed consent. If a woman wishes to ‘play’ in a dungeon, there’s nothing wrong in that, go and enjoy. If she doesn’t wish to play in a dungeon, leave her alone.
If a woman doesn’t want to be ‘given’ to a man as his property, then give her respect and equality. Leave her alone.