Sock it to me

As part of my healthy living regime I walk about a bit.  Sadly my walks aren’t as charming as those experienced by Steve Conway (here) and of late tend to be functional and of necessity take me alongside traffic for large sections of the time.

I am currently, well not as I write this as that would be dangerous, but on a semi daily basis, walking just under 4.5 kilometres (3 miles) in order to get from where I work to where my good lady works, and then get a lift home. This walking business is a good idea because I spend most of my time sitting behind a desk.  Well, there are times when I do get up, although most of the time if I can get from one place to another by shuffling my chair on its casters without getting up, then this is the option I go for.

So, it’s a rather sedentary job as they call it.  Therefore I have to do ‘stuff’ to compensate.  One bit of ‘stuff’ is the walk.  I am ok with this, and the fact that it takes nearly an hour of my life to walk to my pick up point only to then drive past where I started some 6 minutes later.  Not a problem.

Neither is it a problem that in recent days I have had to endure horizontal sleet and gales.  These were useful in that they helped me prove my suspicion that my new winter coat wasn’t in fact waterproof (I’m suspicious it might not even be showerproof).  The challenge of walking whilst suffering severe ‘brain freeze’ from the wind and ice rain smashing into my forehead was actually fun.  Or was that just what the brain freeze made me think?

However there is one persistent problem that mystifies and annoys.

My right foot’s sock keeps falling down.

Why?

Look, I’ve tried different socks (obviously, ‘cos I put clean ones on each day, honest), and different shoes.  I’ve even cunningly swapped my socks mid walk.  However, my right sock just keeps falling down.

It crumples itself into my shoe and under my sole or even up into a nice tight mess under my toes like a sort of large sausage. Well, in that sort of gap behind the toes. A sausage.

What’s going on?

Having tried alternating the socks, changing the socks, changing the shoes, and all variations I can think of, the sock on my right foot always shuffles itself down and away from my heel and under my sole until it is happy when it is nestling next to my toes.

Gaffer tape works.  Liberally putting gaffer tape around the top of the sock and continuing for a few centimetres up my leg works perfectly.  However, as a hairy legged gentleman, the downside is the pain as I try to remove the tape later.  My screams of discomfort as the hairs are being ripped out late at night when my partner pulls the tape off wake the neighbours who assume we are using our private dungeon again.

So, what’s happening with the sock, eh?  I can only assume it is something to do with the way I walk.

In recent days I have attempted to monitor my stance and alter my stride.  Apart from looking like I have accidentally poohed myself and am walking as I feel the discomfort of the inevitable squelching in the underpants area, this doesn’t seem to have fixed the problem.

There seems to be no obvious answer to the problem (apart from the gaffer tape since most of my hairs on my leg just above the sock line have now gone and the removal is getting easier), and the cause cannot be identified.

I don’t feel special or unique or proud that my right sock always falls down.  But, I’m getting used to it.  The choice of whether to stop and pull it up or to just carry on regardless makes for an interesting internal debate as I stroll along.  Propping myself against a wall in the hail as I struggle to unfold the sock is becoming easier, even if it is extremely entertaining for those who are driving by.        

I wonder if I am alone in this right sock issue.  Anybody?

Just me then.



Categories: Uncategorized

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